Breaking the Chains
by Haitus80
Summary: Merle was minutes away from doing the unthinkable, but before he was able to put the saw to use, someone spoke from the shadows. He didn't know it at the time but that was the very moment his life would take a drastic turn. There are three things he needs to accomplish. Get the woman to the group. Make sure his brother is okay. And make Officer Friendly pay. Easier said than done.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there. Remember me telling you about all the Caryl stories that I was working on? Well... this isn't one of them. There will be Caryl eventually but this is basically a Merle story in Merle's POV. It was a prompt from a friend and I wanted to get it started. She's a bit busy so she doesn't mind if I can't update daily. I thought maybe a few of you would be interested so I'm posting.**

 **I am still scrambling to get one of the Caryl stories finished! No worries there. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter One**

He must have blacked out. Coming down from the drugs was bad enough but coming down from them while he was cuffed to a goddamn pipe in the searing sun must have been unbearable because he'd passed out as soon as he had the fucking saw in his hand.

He sat up, wincing when he tried to swallow. His throat felt like sandpaper as it constricted. He could still hear the walkers clawing at the door. Their groans penetrated the rush of blood behind his ears and he cursed and then cursed again, rolling over and kicking the pipe. His wrist felt broken. He must have did a lot of damage to it earlier when he had been trying to get free.

He stopped kicking and laid there for a few seconds, knowing he needed to calm the fuck down and clear his head. He had the hand saw. He knew there was a way out but he was reluctant to do it. He was a tough mother fucker. Everyone that knew him knew that. But goddamn, man. Could he really saw off his own goddamn hand?

He sat up, thankful that the sun had gone down. He was dying of thirst but at least he wasn't trapped under the sun anymore. He would probably end up bleeding to death if he managed to saw through his wrist but there wasn't shit he could do about it. He had to get off the roof and bleeding out would be better than dehydration or getting torn apart by those dead fucks that were...

Movement out of the corner of his eye had him shifting so he was on his knees. At first he was sure that the door had finally gave and they were coming for him. He was about to become chow for the sons of bitches. A second later he realized that it couldn't be them because whoever was approaching him was coming at him from the other end. Not from the door at all.

"Are you alive?" A hushed feminine voice asked from the shadows.

His head shot up as the sound of the woman's voice reached his ears. The voice wasn't a familiar one but it was definitely the voice of someone alive. He needed to make sure he kept himself in check and not piss the woman off before she could help him get the fuck out of here. "Yeah, I'm alive." His voice was barely recognizable because he was completely parched.

"Why did those people cuff you to that pipe?"

He could see that she wasn't a whole lot closer than she had been when she had first made her presence known but it wasn't easy to see anything at all. There was no moon, no light bouncing up from the streets below. Just dark. "You see that, did ya?" He asked, keeping his voice as calm as he could as his eyes flicked from her shadow to the door.

"I saw. I was in a building across the street. I watched you until it got too dark to see. There's a fire escape on the south side so when the street cleared up I took it. Long climb."

"You risk your ass just to save some stranger?" He asked, clearly skeptical. He wasn't ashamed to say that if their positions were reversed, the most he'd do for someone he didn't know was snipe them from the safety of the other building. And that was only if he felt like wasting a bullet on a stranger.

"It's rough out here alone. I thought maybe if I saved your ass then there was a possibility that you would feel like you owed me one and cut me some slack. Even if you were a dangerous psychopath."

He squinted into the darkness. "I'm no psychopath and trust me, you get me outta here and I'll owe your ass more than one."

"I have a gun. I don't wanna use it on anyone living. I haven't had to so far but I'll do what I need to. You understand that?" She asked, her voice sounding sure.

He nodded and then realized that she couldn't see him so he muttered a quick yeah. He wasn't too keen on getting talked down to by some bitch but he wasn't in any position to start stating his opinions at the moment. "I'm gonna go ahead and make a guess that you don't have a spare handcuff key on you. Am I right?" He asked.

She moved a little closer. "I know how to pick one, if that helps."

He snorted and shook his head. He knew this was too good to be true. He was probably hallucinating again because no one was really stupid enough to think they could pick one of these damn things...

"Here," she said, sounded much closer.

He hadn't realized he had shut his eyes until they snapped open. He felt her pushing something into his free hand. He blinked in surprise when he realized that both of his hands were free. "What the fuck? How the hell did you do that?" He asked, tightening his grip on what he hoped was a bottle of water.

"You passed out for about thirty minutes. I just now got you free. Picking a lock isn't as easy when you're doing it blind."

He unscrewed the cap and turned up the bottle. To his surprise, it wasn't water but luke warm Gatorade. He was glad for it too. He hated the shit but he needed to get his ass hydrated so he could get the fuck off this roof and back to that camp. He was gonna find his little brother and then he was going to kill that piece of shit bitch that showed up and fucked up his whole goddamn day.

"You might wanna take it easy. You don't want to throw that back up since you seem to need it," she said quietly.

He lowered the bottle and narrowed his eyes. He was about to tell her not to worry about what the fuck he was doing but then his stomach swirled with nausea. He kept his snide remark to himself. "So, you're alone out here? No group?"

"No. It was me and my sisters. That was it."

"Sisters, huh? Where the hell are they?" He asked, willing the sick feeling to pass so he could drink some more.

"Dead. And that's all I'm gonna say about it." Her tone was matter of fact but Merle guessed if there had been enough light to see her, her eyes would have spoken more than her voice could. It was one of the drags about being sober. He was a lot more observant when he was sober and it usually proved to be a pain in the ass. He had his own fucking problems and he didn't feel like he needed to feel sorry for the rest of the world. Out of habit he checked his pocket for his meager stash but there was nothing there.

He was going to hurt Officer Friendly even more for that dick move. Throwing his shit over the side of a building. Who the fuck did that to people? He huffed out and breath and took a few more drinks before he said anything to her. "So, now you just wonder around alone and rescue strange men that's gotten themselves cuffed to buildings?"

"Actually I was out there when somebody started shooting down in the street. Those things came from all over so I managed to get into the building and hide out. They passed right by because of the idiot with the gun. I got to the roof in time to see that guy hit you in the face with his rifle and then you got cuffed to the pipe."

So she had missed the part where he had beat the shit out of T-dog. That was a plus. She would have probably left his ass to rot if she'd seen that. Not that the smart mouth mother fucker hadn't had it comin'. Maybe he hadn't had to beat him that bad but he'd been wired, fucked up and he had been itching for one of them to start talking shit. "Those people you saw leave me here, that's the group my brother's with. There's a lot more people than that at camp. You get me off this roof I'll take you to them and then I'll get my brother and split."

"I don't want to stay with a group that would just cuff a man like a dog up here," she muttered as she sat down a few inches away. He still couldn't see her. "And I don't think we're gonna make it down tonight anyway. You're dehydrated."

"Don't tell me what the hell I'm capable of doing girl. I'll be just fine. Matter of fact, I was damn close to sawin' this hand right off before you showed up."

"I'm not a girl. I'm thirty years old for Christs sakes. And that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm sure you're some big tough guy or whatever but my God!"

He scowled but kept his mouth shut, remembering that she was the one pulling the strings for now. Instead he pulled himself up off the ground, reaching out to grab the pipe to steady himself as he cursed under his breath.

He was surprised when he felt her grip his arm. "Easy there big guy. We'll have to take a ladder down a few stories before we even get to a landing and can take the switchback stairs down. No need to rush."

"I need to get to my brother," Merle growled, forcing himself not to shove her away.

"And I intend to get you to him but I won't be able to do that if you black out on the ladder and end up a stain on the sidewalk. Take it easy."

He pushed himself off the pipe and ignored the vertigo. He hated to admit it but she was right. He needed a minute; or more. "What's your name anyway, hero?" He asked, glad to hear that his voice sounded a lot stronger than it had before.

"Madison, but people that don't mind getting on my nerves call me Maddy," she said, only a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"You got a last name?" He asked, taking another bottle that she pushed into his hand.

"That's none of your business. What's yours?"

A million quips popped into his head but he simply wasn't in the mood to fuck with anyone. "Merle."

"What's your last name, Merle?" She asked.

"You don't get free information, Maddy," he said just to annoy her. "You show me yours and I'll show you mine." Well, there goes his plan to not fuck with her anyway. He expected her to get offended and huff around like the blonde bitch always did but she didn't. He was surprised to hear her quiet laughter.

"You swear you won't laugh?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Nope." He had enough respect to not stand there and lie to her.

She blew out a heavy breath. "Fine. My last name is Clutterbuck."

Merle snorted. "Goddamn, that's rough. You must have had a hell of a time in school. I can't see what you look like yet but I'm hopin' you're at least one hot fuckin' number with a name like Clutterbuck."

"Don't be a dick, Merle. It's unbecoming. What's your last name?"

He chuckled, feeling much better than he had before. "Dixon."

"Damn it," she cursed. "That's a great last name."

He sat down on the pipe, willing to wait until he felt one hundred percent before he risked going down. She was right. He wouldn't admit it to her but he'd admit it to himself.

 **I read the other day that Andrew Lincolns last name is actually Clutterbuck and I laughed for like thirty minutes. I had to use it, just for the hell of it. Lol**


	2. Chapter 2

**Glad to see that some of you are liking this so far! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Two**

It didn't take Merle too long to get his strength back. The need to get to the quarry, and his brother, was burning strong. He didn't like the thought of him out there with that group of fucking idiots. He was younger than Merle. He was impressionable and it had been a long damn time since they had been in a situation where Merle wasn't around to make the calls. Daryl was wild enough to come looking for him alone and he was pretty damn sure that none of the others from the group would bother to come with him. He had to hurry and get to camp before his brother got hurt.

After he made sure his brother was okay he was planning on making sure that prick cop paid for what he did. If he was positive he wouldn't have trouble finding it he would cuff the bastards dick to his tail pipe and drag him around hells creation. Then he'd turn him into walker chow.

His wrist hurt like a mother fucker by the time they made it to the first landing but he didn't say anything. Pain wasn't too hard to ignore if you knew how to do it. He'd learned early on in life that pain was one of those things that clung to a man and you had no choice but to learn how to shut it off. You shut it off any goddamn way you could. You buried it deep. You pushed through it. A fucked up wrist was nothing compared to some things he'd endured.

When he finally stepped onto the narrow landing of the fire escape he had no choice but to crowd in next to the woman. He flexed his hand but that was the only indication that he was uncomfortable. He must have been out of his goddamn mind for a while up there to be able to do that much damage to himself without even remembering.

"Let's take a breather," Madison muttered.

He shook his head. "I gotta get to my brother. No time for breaks."

"I understand that but I was thinking that since you were able to hold down those fluids that you might want to get a little food in your system. We're probably gonna be running as soon as our feet touch the ground down there. I can't have you stumbling around."

He grumbled. "Would you quit that shit. I've spent the better part of my life not bein' mother henned. I sure as fuck don't need nobody to start now."

"Oh Lord, get over yourself, Merle Dixon. Shut up and eat some jerky for God's sake. I bet when you're at your peak you can't get enough of hearing yourself talk, can you?"

"What the fuck were you before the world went belly up? A goddamn motivational speaker?" He snapped, taking a bite of the jerky she offered him. He didn't want to admit that she was right and he would need his energy.

"No I wasn't. I was a cashier at a whole foods store," she said, not sounding like she was making it up. "But that doesn't mean I can't motivate. I can motivate the hell out of you if my life depends on it, which I believe it does at this point. I don't want to be alone out here anymore. It's too damn hard."

He couldn't really argue with her there. He hadn't really had to deal with anything on his own out here. He knew he could. He was resilient if nothing else. She wasn't him, though, and she was damn lucky to have made it as long as she had.

Neither one of them said anything else as they climbed down as silently as they could. The clouds thinned out over head and in the scarce light from the stars he tried to make out her features but it was to no avail. He couldn't even tell her hair color. They paused when they were just one floor up from the sidewalk below. He'd have to go down another ladder and then jump down the last five feet or so. His wrist protested the thought of another ladder but he ignored it.

"It seems quiet now. We can look for a car unless you would rather try to make it to your brother on foot," she whispered.

He shook his head and leaned in a little closer. "Camp's too far. We'll have to find some wheels. You're right though. It looks pretty clear down there."

"Are you going to let me stay with you and your brother after you get him?" She asked.

He scowled. Him and Daryl had only been with that group for a few days. The plan had been to get in, take what they could from the unsuspecting bastards and then get out. That was what was suppose to have happened. But then, of course, Merle had overdone it on his stash and had stayed pretty lit the whole time him and Daryl had been with them. It looked like their plans were fouled but as long as he could get there before Daryl did something stupid then he would call it a win.

But bringing some woman along with them had never been in their plans. It was him and Daryl. It always had been just the two of them. And he knew his brother. Daryl wouldn't like this at all. He hadn't wanted to join that other group in the first place. He'd tried to talk Merle into just keeping to themselves but Merle wouldn't listen. Damn if he didn't wish he had. "Why the hell would you wanna take off with two strange men when you could join a group full of women and kids and men that can at least half assed keep you alive? You'd be better off stayin' with them. It wasn't the whole group that left me stranded up there. Just a couple of bad apples. Worlds full of them." Wasn't that the damn truth. He was one of the worst apples in the whole goddamn batch but he wasn't about to tell her that.

She didn't say anything so he just assumed that she would go ahead and agree that he was right. And he was. He didn't have the patience to look after some fuckin' woman anyway.

Without another word he took the ladder and then hopped down to the sidewalk. He felt naked. He didn't have any weapons on him short of a knife she had handed him. There was only so much a man could do with a knife if he was faced with a whole fucking group of those things. Once she hopped down beside him he cursed himself for not helping her down.

Not that he was the least bit fucking chivalrous, but it would have been a perfect opportunity to cop a feel. He chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny?" She asked as they started to round the building.

"Nothin'. Let's just keep our eyes peeled, huh? We need a damn car before my dip shit baby brother walks his ass all the way to Atlanta to peel me off that roof."

"You think he'd do that? Come here alone, I mean?" She whispered.

He shrugged. "It's always just been me and him. I think he'd do what he could to get to me. I'd do the same."

"That's sweet," she said, her voice carrying a sadness that had him frowning.

He remembered her mention dead sisters. Usually he wasn't the type to sympathize with others but this was something that he could understand. He wasn't the greatest brother in the world and he knew it. He did too many fucking drugs and most of the time he was so damn involved with himself that he seemed aloof to anything else. But he knew that if something ever happened to his brother, especially on his watch, that it would kill him.

He didn't comment. There wasn't anything he could say that would make her feel any better and it wasn't his damn place to bother anyway. He grudgingly had to admit, though, that if there was something he could say to ease her pain, he probably would.

The first car they came upon was locked up tight and since they had spotted a couple of biters already he didn't want to risk breaking a window. It would be his luck to break out a window, draw every damn biter to the city down on their heads and then the car wouldn't even start.

Merle stopped when he spotted something lying there in the middle of the road. At first he thought it was a small body but as they drew closer he was starting to think it was something else. He took off towards the center of the street and toed it with his boot.

"What is it?" Maddy hissed from the sidewalk.

Merle pulled it towards him and unzipped it. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he realized what he had. He glanced over his shoulder and then his eyes scanned the area around them before he gave a low whistle. "It's a game changer, woman. We just hit the goddamn jackpot."

She took a hesitant step onto the street after him as he lifted the bag and shouldered it. She stopped as soon as her foot was on the street. He still couldn't really see a whole lot though. "What does that even mean?"

"Guns. Right here in the middle of the street," he grinned.

The grin froze and then died as he turned around. Out of nowhere they heard the roar of an engine and then a car came screeching around the corner. Everything happened fast. He was finally able to see her in the glare of the headlights baring down on him. He heard her scream his name. He felt his legs moving but he knew there was no fucking way he was going to be able to get out of the way.

He heard the breaks squeal before he felt the impact. It was strange because it was more jarring than it was painful. He felt the sensation of rolling but didn't feel the bumps and bangs he knew he should be feeling.

Fuck. What a fucked up day.

That was his last thought before the world went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**This would have been posted a long time ago but I'm having internet troubles. And I've had company for the last week. Anyway, enough with the excuses! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Three**

Intuitive.

That was the word that her sisters had always used to describe her. Intuition was a good thing to have. Well, unless it's the only thing you have. Then it wasn't as cool. She wasn't overly tough. By the time her and her sisters had reached their teenage years, they could both kick her ass. She was a crappy liar. She was bad at sports. She was prone to talking too much. She was clumsy. She wasn't thin. She wasn't fat. She wasn't ugly. She wasn't beautiful. She was just Maddy. Maddy with the uncanny ability to smell trouble.

She hadn't led a very exciting life up until this point. Her family had been upper middle class. Her dad wasn't a tyrant and her mother wasn't distant. No one in her small family had suffered addictions and her parents never had any tawdry affairs as far as she knew. She didn't suffer horribly from any psychological issues. She had been a B student. She'd never had much trouble with bullies or turmoil. She had never been broken, beaten, used or even overly troubled by much.

She was totally lame. Lame but still intuitive.

Her intuition was telling her to run. Merle was a goner. She felt bad but there wasn't a damn thing she could do for him now. She hadn't lied to him. She had a gun but she'd ran out of bullets for it days ago. She'd used her last two to put her sisters down and there were men rushing out of the car.

But she couldn't just leave him. Lame? Yeah. She was all kinds of lame but she wasn't a coward and even though that voice in her head was telling her to run like hell before these men could snatch her up, another voice was telling her that somehow, Merle was worth the risk. It didn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. Usually intuition was like that. But she listened to the louder voice anyway and could only hope this idiotic move didn't get her sodomized later.

Oh God. Of all the fucked up things that she could have thought at this moment.

Squaring her shoulders and taking in a deep breath she stalked over to his prone body just as three men came around the car that had slammed into him. She knelt down just as they did, her hand going to his throat to check for a pulse.

"If he's alive then get him in the car! Now! Those things weren't too far behind," one man urged loudly.

"He's alive," she said in a low voice, looking up once she felt the steady pulse under her fingers.

"Get in!" Another man called, throwing the door open as the other two dragged Merle over and stuffed him in the back. She hesitated for only a second before she was actually shoved in after him.

No turning back now. She was in it for the long haul. Besides, if these guys were dangerous or evil then they would have left Merle lying in the street while they drove away. He was a lot bigger than her so there was no damn way she would have been able to drag him away before those things came.

She told herself that but she still felt uneasy. Really uneasy. Especially when the men didn't speak in the car. It was a long trip, silent and tense until they finally pulled up in front a wall of some sort, blinking the lights a few times before the huge doors swung out a few men with guns strolled towards them.

The man next to her looked over sharply, his eyes hard. "Stay here."

She nodded and tried to scoot further away from him but Merle was slumped in the seat and taking up more room than he would have if he had been awake. The men filed out of the car and was greeted by the men with the guns. She turned to Merle but he was still out cold.

"Hey," she hissed, poking him hard in the ribs. "Wake up."

He didn't move. His eyelids didn't even flutter and she hurriedly placed her hand on his chest, over a leather vest, to check to see if he was still breathing. It took a second to feel it but finally he took in a shallow breath. She sighed in relief and then the door on his side was flung open and he was being pulled out.

She hurried out after him as he was laid out on a makeshift gurney and two men started wheeling him away. She tried to follow but another man caught her arm. Instantly she jerked it away. The man held up his hands in surrender.

"Hey, now. I didn't mean to startle you. I was just gonna let you know that my men are taking him to a doctor to check him over. I can show you where you can wait."

She glanced back over to the wall before meeting the man's gaze. "What is this place?"

"This is Woodbury. We're walling off most of the town and taking in as many survivors as we can. That man my men hit, is he your husband?"

She was about to tell him no. She was about to tell him that she had just met him. She nearly laughed at the idea of her being married. She hadn't even been on a date in two years. But she found herself nodding.

He nodded. "Well, we plan on taking good care of him for you, Mrs.-"

"Dixon," she volunteered, her face growing hot with embarrassment. "Madison Dixon." Jesus, what the hell was she doing? Merle didn't strike her as the type that would appreciate her pretending to be married to him but this guy gave her a bad feeling. Maybe if he thought she was married then he wouldn't bother her.

He led her through the gate and then it clanged closed behind them, the finality of the sound caused her to flinch but then she took in the area around her. There were small fires burning, giving the space a soft glow. Other than a few men with guns there was no one else on the sidewalks and this had her growing nervous again.

His hand went to the small of her back and he gave her a slight push so she would get moving again. His voice grated on her nerves. "We run a tight community here. There's rules here like curfews but you'll see that it's just to keep our people safe," he droned on as he opened a door a led her down a hallway with a few doors on either side.

"How many people live here?" She asked.

He smiled and a strange chill ran down her spine. "We're up to about twenty now I believe. If you and your husband choose to stay on with us then I suppose that's makes it twenty two. We'd love to have you." He stopped outside a door and pushed it open. "This is your room. You can go ahead and get yourself cleaned up and I'll come back in thirty minutes to take you to your husband. One of the girls will bring you something to wear. Make sure you go easy on the hot water."

"Hot what?" She blinked, sure she had heard him wrong.

"The hot water. Just keep it short if you don't mind," he said, looking smug.

She nodded and then he left the room. She turned in a circle, taking everything in. It wasn't anything exceptional but, Jesus, it was better than anything she'd seen lately. It was clean and the bed was made. There were books on the shelves and a small lamp burning on the bedside table.

"What the hell is this place?" She sighed, running a hand through her hair. She made a face at the greasy feel of it. She sat down on the bed and pulled her boots off. She wished she could just go home. For a woman that didn't have an adventurous bone in her body, she sure as hell had been adventure bound ever since her and her sisters escaped their small town and tried to find safety in Atlanta.

She swallowed hard and bit back the urge to cry. She didn't have any reason to cry. Sure, her sisters were gone but was that really so bad? They were free of this... whatever the hell this was. She had already mourned them. Now she just had to push forward and try to find herself.

What a dumb way to word things. Find herself? She snorted and stood up just as someone tapped lightly on the door. Before she could open it a dark haired girl that looked to be about eighteen stuck her head in and smiled.

"I brought you some clothes and some dinner. It isn't much since it's after hours but you can catch breakfast in the morning. I only saw you for a few seconds so I hope I guessed your size right."

Madison nodded, taking the stack of clothes the girl had shoved under her arm. "Thank you. Anything is better than these rags."

"I'm Tara," she said, offering her hand.

"Madison," she said, taking the offered hand and shaking it quickly.

"Well, I'll let you get a shower. The Governor will be here to take you to your man."

"The what?" Madison asked, her brows pulling together in a frown.

Tara shrugged. "That's just what we call him. See you later."

With that, the girl was gone. Madison stared at the door, the uneasy feeling she'd had since coming here intensifying.

 **There is this trend with lady OC's I've noticed. Most of them are drop dead sexy, hard core bad asses, super smart and Ohhhhh so very damaged. I do the same damn thing with my males. This chick is average in every way. I want a clean slate with her. I want to make her something in this story instead of start out with some super protagonist. Hope that's cool. Again, thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the delay! Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Four**

Merle woke up feeling like he'd been beat to half to death and then put through a meat grinder. There wasn't much that didn't hurt and he was finding it hard to open his eyes. His head felt... dense. That was the only word he could think of to describe it. It was like he had to swim through some kind of thick substance, mentally working to get to the surface.

"... coming around this time..." An unfamiliar male voice sounded from somewhere down a long tunnel.

"Go ahead and remove the catheter and the I.V.. We've used up a lot of..." A female voice, just as unfamiliar as the man's voice. This one sounded closer.

"... think we should get his wife. She can explain to him what's happened."

"... been waiting right outside..."

He frowned. He had been sure that they were talking about him but now he knew that wasn't the case. Who the fuck were these people and how the hell had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was the roof. No... He shook his head, or he tried to anyway. Not the roof. He had been in the street and he'd just found a bag full of guns. He was with a woman. Melody? No, that wasn't it. Marilyn? He wracked his brain. "Maddy?" He croaked. There it was. That was the name of the woman that had saved him. Maddy Clusterfuck. Yeah, that was it.

"Hey, Merle. I'm right here."

He recognized this voice and he fought a little harder to open his eyes. He needed to figure out what the hell happened to him and she would be able to tell him. She was with him when whatever happened happened. He squinted as his eyes finally cracked open. The light was too bright and he tried to block it out but his arms felt like lead. After blinking a few times he was finally able to make out the faces of the people surrounding the bed. He scowled.

There was man there, smiling at him like a fucking freak. There was a chubby black lady that he hoped to God wasn't Maddy and then there was a woman standing a little further away than the other two. He felt a little relieved. She smiled but the smile was unsure and her brown eyes flicked away from his.

"What the fuck happened?" He asked, his voice coming out in a choked whisper. He hated sounding so fucking weak.

"Mr. Dixon, it's good to see you awake. We'll leave you and your wife alone for a few minutes and she can explain what's going on. She's barely left your side since you got here," the man said quickly.

Merle scowled, narrowing his eyes as they slid over to the woman. So he had heard them right. Why in the hell would this idiot woman claim to be a Dixon? Jesus! Now people thought he was married! She glanced at him, ran a nervous hand through her dark blond hair and then looked away again. She looked embarrassed. Well that's what she got.

As soon as the door was closed and they were alone she took a few tentative steps closer. "Look, I know you probably want to take my head off for saying we were... married, but that guy really creeped me out and he wasn't the only one and I was thinking if they thought that I was married that they would leave me alone and so far they have so I don't regret saying that. That and your last name is a lot better than mine anyway. It'd be selfish for you not to let me borrow it under these circumstances."

He felt his eyebrows shoot up. All of that was delivered in one breath and he was surprised she hadn't passed out. "Fair enough," he grimaced as he tried to swallow.

She blew out a relieved breath and grabbed him something from the bedside table. It was a bottle of water and he could see that it was cold. He unscrewed the cap and took a long drink, nearly choking.

"Remember, take it easy or you'll get sick."

He nodded but continued to drink. He'd gotten used to warm water so there was no way he wasn't going to enjoy this. He took a moment to check her out, now that he could see her. At least she was easy on the eyes. She had the type of body that most _women_ learned to be insecure about but most _men_ wanted to sink their teeth in. The way a woman was meant to be built, with just the right amount of soft. Brown eyes, full mouth, shoulder length hair just a shade away from being brown that had a messy tousled look like she'd just rolled out of bed.

"Why are you staring at me?" She asked suddenly.

He shrugged. "You gonna tell me where the hell we are, and how the hell we got here?" He asked, not wanting to let her know that he was assessing her for a possible booty call.

"You were out in the street and a car came around the corner and hit you. I wasn't sure if you'd survived. The men in the car came and dragged you in before those things could get to us, that was what they were driving away from. And here we are."

"That was a stupid move, girl. Coulda been some nasty men in that car. You should have ran."

She shrugged. "I know what I'm doing. Anyway, your right leg is broken. Your ankle is broken. Your wrist is broken. Your ribs are bruised. You're damn lucky to be alive. This town is walled off. None of those things can get inside and we have a room here."

He hadn't realized that he had grown very still. He felt sick now and it had nothing to do with drinking the water too fast. How the fuck was he going to be able to get to his brother if he wasn't even going to be able to walk? "Did they say how long I'm out of commission?"

Now she was starting to look even more nervous. "The break wasn't as bad as it could have been but... I heard them say that it'll be at least twelve weeks before it'll be healed enough for you to leave. I mean, we can leave but your chances of survival are so slim..."

"Yeah, fuck that," he snapped, shoving the blanket off of him and trying to swing his legs around. He stared down at himself, glaring. "Where the fuck are my clothes?" He asked, his eyes taking in the weird splint on his leg. He had been willing to cut off his own hand to save himself but there was no way he'd be able to chop off his own damn leg and be any use to anyone. He covered himself back up. He was wearing one of those idiotic gowns. He wasn't about to bring up the fact that he wasn't staying in this place. He remembered that she was a mouthy one just from the little time he spent with her on the roof so he wasn't about to get into an argument. No man had any business arguing with a woman while the man was basically wearing an assless dress.

"What is this place?" He asked instead. He looked around the room. It looked like it used to be an office of some kind but was now being used as a makeshift hospital room.

"The town is called Woodbury and that guy that was just in here is the Governor. Or that's what they call him anyway."

His gaze swung back to her. "The Governor? Sounds like somebody that thinks too fuckin' highly of themselves. Governments dead. Law is dead."

She shook her head. "Not here. They have laws here. No weapons unless you're a part of his little army. You have to be indoors after curfew. He's working on finding jobs for everyone to do for after they expand."

He shook his head in disgust. "The guns."

"Guns?"

"Fuck," he growled, running a hand over his face. "You didn't grab the guns, did you?"

She frowned. "I was preoccupied. I thought you were dead. Once I realized you weren't dead I still wasn't sure if you were dying or not. They must have got them. Or they were left there."

"Goddamn it!" He hissed.

She threw her arms up in exasperation. "Even if I had grabbed them, they would have taken them anyway!"

"They have guns here. If they didn't then they'd all be dead by now. That asshole is just keepin' them to himself."

She glanced at the door. "Merle, we're stuck. Stuck until you can get around anyway. Please don't do anything that will get us killed or kicked out."

What the hell was with this girl and all of her us and we shit? He had been willing to get her to that group because she had done him a solid favor and hadn't let him die up there. But she was with people now and she wasn't his goddamn problem anymore. He was getting the fuck away from this place. He had to get back to the quarry. "Did I sleep all night?" He asked, trying to change the subject. He wasn't up to arguing at the moment.

The look on her face turned to something like regret and he didn't understand why. "You were in and out for nearly five days, Merle."

He felt the blood drain from his face. Five days? His brother probably thought he was dead. Would they still be at that camp? Did Daryl leave by himself to find him? Surely the boy wasn't that fucking stupid.

"The day after we came here I was finally able to get you to tell me where the camp was. You said your brother was at the quarry. One of the men knew where there was a quarry not too far. He took me there and there had been a camp but there wasn't anything there. I swear I wanted to find your brother but there was no trace of anybody."

He wasn't going to be able to find his brother out there. He was gone. His heart sank and he felt like his world was closing in around him. There had to be something he could do. There had to be a way to find him.

"If there's anywhere else you think he'd go just tell me and I'll look," she said quietly.

He shook his head, her words breaking through that bile black haze. He sat up and used his good hand to help pull his bad leg around so he could sit on the edge of the bed. He hung his head for a few long moments and then finally raised it slowly, meeting her eyes. He wasn't sure what she may have seen in his but she didn't hold his gaze. She looked away, frowning.

"What the fuck would you do that for? Why the hell did you go in the first place? You don't fuckin' know me. Hell, even if you did, I can tell you now you wouldn't like me. I don't need you doin' me anymore goddamn favors."

"I did it because if it was me and my sisters were out there then I would hope someone would at least try," she said, looking back up. "And it isn't a matter of whether I like you or don't. I do what I think is right. It's as simple as that."

He scoffed and shook his head. "You're gonna find yourself disappointed every time you turn around with an attitude like that."

"Yeah, well, that's not your problem. It's mine."

"And findin' my brother is my problem. Not yours. Not _ours_. Mine. You got that?"

"Got it," she said, her brown eyes holding his steadily.

Under the turmoil in his own head he noticed that her voice was still strong. His words, or his callous delivery, didn't seem to faze her. He didn't know why he had expected them to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

She didn't seem bothered by his sour attitude over the next few days. He had been relieved when he realized that he wasn't actually in a real cast. It was some sort of makeshift splint to keep him from cracking his goddamn thigh bone in half. He was able to put his clothes back on and they were clean. Not that he gave a good goddamn whether they were clean or not.

She avoided him for the most part and when she wasn't avoiding him she was actually pretty okay to be around and he fucking hated thinking so. She didn't try to invade his space or try to get him to talk to her about his goddamn feelings. The problem was, he was trapped in their room most of the time while she was out doing God knows what all over town. He scowled at the window and tossed the book aside. He hadn't paid a damn bit of attention to what the hell he'd been reading.

He had gone along with the ruse that they were married. She seemed to be more at ease that way and despite him acting less than appreciative of the fact that she had gone on a hunt for his little brother, he secretly respected the fuck out of her for giving it a shot. Not many people would do a whole lot for someone that they didn't really know. So as far as the town knew, they were a married couple. Only because he secretly felt like he owed her one.

He stood up and hobbled like an idiot to the bookshelf, scanning the worn collection for something that caught his interest. The sound of the door closing had his brows pulling together. He hadn't been expecting her back yet. When he turned around his jaw clenched when he saw that it wasn't her at all.

"I hope you aren't overdoing it," Blake said with that infuriating fucking _tone_ he used. The know it all mother fucker.

"You ever think of knockin' on a man's door?" He asked, forcing himself to keep his cool. He was still working on figuring this guy out. He was a hard one. There was something there, just under the surface, that caught Merle's attention the first time he'd talked to the man.

Blake shrugged. "I just came up to check on you. I have your wife helping out. We're trying to get a school set up. We found another group earlier this week, not counting the little girl that Madison stumbled upon the other day and our numbers are going up. The more people we save, the safer this place will be."

Merle studied the man, refusing to limp his gimp ass back to the bed because he didn't want to look weak in front of the man. He was kind of surprised that Maddy had found anyone. She had never mentioned it. Then again, he wasn't really one for much small talk.

He wasn't sure how to go about it but there was something that he needed to know. He couldn't truly bring himself to give a damn either way, but the curiosity was eating at him. "You tellin' me you give a fuck about these people?" He didn't truly believe that he did and he wasn't expecting much of an answer. He was surprised to find that Blake didn't seem to feel the need to hide too much in front of him.

Blake crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his back against the door, the corners of his mouth turning up as he regarded Merle curiously. "Do you want the truth?"

"Do I strike you as the type of man that gives a damn either way?" Merle countered.

Finally Blake shook his head and then pushed away from the door, stopping at the window where he pulled the curtain back and looked out over his empire. "And how would it make you feel if I told you no?" He asked without turning around.

Merle limped to the bed now that Blake's back was to him. "Like I said. I don't give a damn either way."

He nodded. "I thought as much." He turned just as Merle sat down on the side of the bed, stretching his leg out in front of him. "I can tell that you're different. I need men that don't think like the others. I need men that are willing to help me when I need the help. Men that lack... much conscience."

"You think you got me all figured out, huh?" Merle asked, narrowing his eyes. He would be a damn liar if he tried to say he wasn't at least intrigued. Finally this son of a bitch was going to stop blowing smoke up his ass.

Blake shook his head. "The world is a nasty place outside these walls, Merle. You know that better than some of them out there. It was ugly before but now," he shook his head and sighed heavily, "Now it's it's just chaos. But inside these walls, at least there is some illusion. The chaos, for the most part, is controled."

Merle tilted his head, running a hand over his short cropped hair. "No shit."

"We got biters clawing at the walls, we have other groups out there that pose a threat to what I'm trying to build here. I need men that's willing to go above and beyond to protect this place." He turned away from the window and pulled out the desk chair, sitting down heavily. "Somethin' tells me that you're the man I need running things. I have my own projects. I can't be everywhere at once. I need somebody that has the balls to handle these men."

"The fuck makes you think I'm interested?" He asked, not the least bit interested at all. He had to find his brother.

Blake leaned back and Merle didn't like the look in his eye. It was calculating. He leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him. "Do you wanna know one of the things that has always intrigued me about men, Merle?"

Merle rolled his eyes. "If your some kinda peter puffer then go ahead and keep that shit to yourself."

Blake laughed and gave Merle a condescending look that put his teeth on edge. "Envy. Humanity is tainted with it and have been since the very beginning. Envy is a dangerous thing, Merle. It's like a poison. And now it's even worse because none of us have much anymore. Men around here, they envy you."

Merle scowled and looked down at his leg. "If they're envying me then I'd be happy to line them up and run them down just like they did me. What the hell are you talkin' about? I'm a fuckin' gimp."

Blake shrugged. "If you had money, they'd try to ruin you to get it. But money doesn't count for much in this world. It's human nature to be envious. They envy you because of your wife. And if you agree to what I'm about to lay out for you, they'll envy you because of your power here. I need a right hand. I need somebody that I can trust."

Merle felt something like worry stir in his chest and he wasn't even sure why. What the hell did it matter to anyone who the hell that girl was supposedly married to? And how far would some of them go to take what they thought was his? He didn't really care much for her or anything but he didn't want anything to happen to her. Not something like that. Not just because some assholes wanted to take what they thought belonged to him. Blake was right though. Envy was something that ran through the veins of most men. "Quit being so goddamn cryptic. What the fuck do you want from me?"

The slightest hint of annoyance flashed in the man's eyes but Merle didn't give a fuck. Blake was getting on his goddamn nerves. He was too used to people falling over their own feet to kiss his ass. Merle wasn't one of those men. Blake hadn't done shit for him. Maddy had done plenty, maybe he owed her more than he'd given her so far but he didn't owe this son of a bitch a goddamn thing. It was his fucking cronies that had hit him with a car and screwed his chances of getting to his brother in the first place.

"I want you to keep an eye on my men. I want you to lead the runs and make sure none of them are stepping out of line. Once you're all healed up, of course."

"Why the hell do you want me to do that? You don't know shit about me."

"You're a dangerous man. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. You're the type of man that would get a kick out of having the power to cut another man down just for not following orders. And I also think you'll want to take on the job because I know your secret." He smiled and Merle felt a chill run down his spine.

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" He asked.

"I don't know the whole story. I don't know why the two of you are lying, but Madison isn't your wife."

"She didn't tell you that," Merle said, ice replacing the blood in his veins. He wasn't sure why the hell he was feeling like this but he didn't have time to question the anxiety just yet. He needed to keep his cool.

"She didn't have to tell me anything. I was married myself. Happily married. You're too... self involved, to marry someone. But I won't tell a soul. She'll be safe, especially once you have these men under your thumb."

Merle shook his head angrily. "You think you can fuckin' blackmail me? Using some woman that I barely even fuckin' know?"

Blake stood up then, that phony ass smile in place. "Blackmail is such an ugly word, Merle." He left the room then.

Merle stared at the door for a long time, flexing his uninjured fist over and over, wishing like hell he could punch Philip Blake in the face. Instead he forced himself to calm down, to push the anger away. He needed a plan and his temper would get in the way. It always did.

If Blake wanted to play head games then Merle would jump right on board. And he'd take this whole goddamn town once he was able.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

She put her hand on the door knob but she didn't go into the room just yet. She didn't like being around Merle very much but she couldn't stay gone forever. She wanted to like him. She wished that they got along. It would make things a lot easier. Not that they fought or anything. They didn't. They didn't even really speak. She had gotten really good at gauging his moods though. She knew when he wouldn't mind useless conversation and she could tell when he was being pensive.

She had no choice but to hide out in the room though. The people weren't too bad but she didn't feel comfortable around them. Maybe she was becoming anti social. If that were the case then she picked a fine time to do it. There wasn't many living people left so becoming an introvert now would be pretty easy.

She sighed and opened the door. Her eyes scanned the room quickly but she didn't see him anywhere. Her pulse sped up and she felt a flash of trepidation run through her. He was always here. Had something happened to him? Had he fallen or gotten angry and tried to leave? Had he decided to leave her here and somehow go off, with a broken leg, to hunt for this mysterious brother of his? Had the Governor decided to get rid of him?

A sound coming from her right had her head whipping around, quiet panic crawling up her throat. The bathroom door swung open and then, to her great relief, Merle limped out. He had the brace on his leg, over his black jeans but he wasn't wearing a shirt. His chest and shoulders were broad and muscular and she could see droplets of water trailing down his torso as he ran a towel over his head. Her eyes followed a drop of water as it slid down towards his belt.

"You know, I can lose the pants pretty damn fast for a cripple."

He sounded amused and her eyes quickly raised up to meet his. She felt her face flush and then she shook her head. "You just surprised me. I thought you had left."

"You always stare at a man's junk when you're surprised?" He grinned.

She blew out a breath and waved him off, rolling her eyes. She didn't know why she'd been staring at him like that. It had been a rough few days. That was it. At least he seemed to be in a better mood than he usually was. She shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it onto the sofa that she had been using as a bed since Merle had woken up from that short coma.

His grin dissolved and he frowned, his eyes sweeping over her in a way that had her wanting to put the jacket back on. "Did you wear that out there in front of everybody?"

She looked down at her shirt and then back up. It was a tank top. There wasn't anything wrong with wearing a tank top. It wasn't like she was running around town wearing nothing but a bra. "Yeah. Why?"

He scowled and then motioned towards her with a flick of his hand. "You can't just go off runnin' up and down the streets with your goods hangin' out like that!"

She looked down again. Sure, it was a little on the low cut side but she didn't really think that there was anything hanging out. Considering she was a bit on the busty side, there really wasn't anything she could wear that wasn't going to show a little bit. "Nothing is hanging out!" She said, getting defensive.

"Well, there's enough for everybody in town to notice, I'm sure. Goddamn it, Maddy! You need different clothes."

Her mouth dropped open. "What the hell are you talking about, Merle? I can wear what I want. If I want to go out there in a bra, that's what I'll do!"

He shook his head. "Not if your my damn wife you're not! You're gonna have those men out there thinkin' you're on the prowl. Meanwhile I'm stuck in here and their probably crackin' up behind my back cause their getting a free show and think they're getting it from someone married to me."

She crossed her arms over her chest and held his gaze. "You aren't going to start dictating how I dress."

His scowl deepened and he worked the crutch with his good hand so he could pass her. He was surprisingly quick considering he had a crack in his femur.

She turned and watched as he eased himself down onto the sofa. "Are you seriously mad at me over a shirt?" She asked, wondering where this was all coming from.

He snorted. "No. I just don't like being made a fool of."

"Merle, I'm not cheating on you. I took our vows very seriously. You're the only man for me," she deadpanned.

He met her eyes and she saw his lips twitch but he refused to give in and smile. She sat down next to him on the couch. She didn't know where his little outburst came from but it was kind of flattering that he would think that men would be looking at her like that. Then she couldn't help but wonder if he looked at her like that. He was always coming off with lewd remarks but she didn't think anything of it.

"You pretty familiar with most of the folks here?" He asked suddenly.

She shrugged. "I guess so. There's nearly thirty residents now. And then there's about ten or so men that work directly under Philip. They're the ones that get to keep their weapons. A few of them are okay but some of the others give me the creeps."

He stared off at the door and she could almost hear the gears in his head turning. "Those men with the guns, you ever talk to them?"

She shook her head. "No. I do whatever work Philip asks me to do and I try to stay away from them."

Merle's eyes slid over to meet hers. "What kind of guns are they usually packin'?"

She frowned. "Big ones. I don't know."

He rolled his eyes.

"What? I'm not some kind of gun expert."

"Yeah, well, that's gonna change. I need a favor. A big one too." He met her eyes and she instantly felt her own grow wide.

What the hell could he possibly want her to do? "What kind of favor?" She asked hesitantly.

"I need you to follow the men with the guns. I need to know where they keep their shit. I need to know their routine. I need to-"

"What are you talking about? I'm not a spy! I can't just infiltrate their secret lairs and report back to you! Are you insane?"

He shook his head, his eyes growing hard. "This place ain't what those idiots think it is!"

"I know that! That's why as soon as you're able we're going to leave. Right? We're leaving so we can find your brother." Even she could hear the pleading tone in her voice.

He swiped a hand over his face and looked away.

"You aren't going after him, are you?" She asked, unable to believe that he was giving up. She would never give up on her own sisters.

"Where the fuck will I even start?" He snapped.

She stood up, hands on her hips. "Anywhere! Everywhere!"

"What the hell is in it for you, anyway? Goddamn, he could have gone anywhere. He could be dead. You have no fucking idea how bad I wanted to find him but I'm not stupid enough to go out there and get myself killed tryin' to hunt down somebody when I ain't got a clue where he could be."

She wasn't the biggest fan of Merle Dixon. Their relationship was one of convenience, but at the moment, she flat out didn't even want to look at him. She had lost a lot since this whole thing started but one thing she wasn't about to let go of was her ability to hope. And to see that he was a hopeless man made her a little ill. She knew that his brother was out there. He was alive. But she didn't know how to tell him that. It would sound stupid but she was almost sure of it. And she felt like there was something here, some sort of link right under her nose, that could possibly help her find the man.

"Maybe I'll eventually find him. I'll give you that much. Maybe he's out there and he's fine. But there ain't shit I can do about it now. What I can do, is work on getting to the bottom of what's goin' on here and then when I'm able, I can take it."

She shook her head. "How?"

He offered her a grin as he settled back into the corner of the couch, his leg stretched out towards her. "With your help."

"Me!" She shook her head. "No. I'll do what I can to help you find your brother, and I have, but I'm not brainstorming ways to take over an entire town with you!"

His eyes swept over her. "You will."

She shook her head. "What makes you think I would ever do something so stupid?"

"Because you're a do gooder. You're a Mary Sue. You'll do it cause it's the right thing to do. Blake told me he don't give a goddamn about the people in this place. He don't care if they live or die. He just needs them to think he does. And you can't, in good conscience, let a man like that stay in power. You'll help because it's right to help."

She shook her head. "You can't tell me you care about these people any more than he does."

Merle shrugged, smiling that infuriating smile of his. "I don't. That's why there's another reason you're gonna help me."

She scowled, shaking her head. "I can't do this."

"You'll do it or I'll tell Blake all about this fake arrangement. After that, you're fair game. I'm the only reason you've been safe here so far."

She gaped. "Why would you do that to me! And what do you mean the only reason I've been safe here?"

"I'll do what I need to do, goddamn it. And those men toting those guns, they have an itch for you. They won't touch you as long as they think you're mine. Without me, you'll get passed around like a hash pipe, darlin'. I don't want that but I'll do what I need to."

Anger had her clenching her hands into fists at her sides, appalled that he basically threatened her. She could go along with his idiotic plan or she could become a rape victim. But then she really looked at him. His eyes were calm, clear and didn't show the faintest hint of remorse for threatening to out her like that. But he was bluffing. He was good. Very good. But she was better.

She nodded. "Okay," she said, her voice resigned.

He grinned. "I thought you'd see things my way."

She returned the smile. "Oh, you misunderstand. I meant you can go ahead and tell him. Well, actually you won't have to. One of his men asked me earlier if I'd like to have a few drinks with him. I declined but I'm sure the offer is still on the table. I'll go tell him, he can go tell his friends. You're not going to manipulate me, Merle. I'm not the type to let it happen." She turned to walk out the door, with no intentions of telling the other men that she wasn't actually a married woman, but Merle didn't know that.

She winced when his large hand wrapped around her wrist and jerked her back hard enough to almost make her stumble. She glared at him. He was standing up now and she was surprised he had gotten up so quickly. He glowered down at her, not loosening his grip. "You really that goddamn stupid?" He growled.

Not looking away, knowing he'd pounce on any sign of weakness, she shrugged. "Are you really that heartless?"

They stared at each other for a long time, neither breaking the intense gaze. When he finally spoke, it was low and almost pleading. "I'm laid up in this goddamn room until this leg is better. I can't do shit on my own. And maybe I don't give a fuck about these assholes, alright, but I know you do. That son of a bitch needs to go. He's bad news. Worse than me. I know you fuckin' know that. I need your help."

She knew how hard it was for him to say that. He wasn't the type of man that asked for help often, maybe ever, but she was all he had and that meant something to her. She hated that it did but there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"What if they catch me watching them?" She asked, her voice almost a whisper as fear settled low in her chest.

He blew out a relieved breath and finally loosened his grip but didn't drop his hand. "Play dumb. If they see you then all you gotta do is play dumb."

She bit her lip nervously because his thumb ran over the inside of her wrist, like with that small gesture he could wipe the sting away from when he'd been gripping her painfully. She nodded vaguely. "That's hard for you, isn't it? Admitting that you need help?"

He scowled. "You have no fuckin' idea." Finally he let go of her, like he just realized that he was still touching her and she could have sworn that he looked embarrassed, not of asking for her help but because he'd not dropped her hand sooner.


	7. Chapter 7

**And now you get to know what Caryl has been up to. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Seven**

Carol sat there, gazing into the fire after listening to Rick's big speech. They had lost the farm. Lost people. She had the strange sensation that somehow, she was even silently losing herself. The night was growing cold and she could feel Lori watching her from across the fire.

Rick had offered them an out if they didn't want to abide by his rules. At some point he must have convinced himself that since the world had fallen apart, he had earned the title of leader. She didn't begrudge him. He was entitled to think more highly of himself than she did.

He had left her daughter out there alone and now the chances of Daryl ever finding her were gone. After that herd she was sure that her little girl was dead. Her daughter was dead and this man was going to stand there and act like the whole group owed him something.

"I think I'm gonna go ahead and leave," she said quietly, standing up and pulling her cardigan tighter.

Rick, who had been standing with his back to all of them turned sharply, the shadows and fire played havoc with his features, giving him an almost sinister look. Lori stood up as well, staring at her with wide frightened eyes.

"Is that really what you want? To be out there on your own?" Rick asked.

"Carol, you can't do that. You can't-" Lori began but Carol wouldn't let her finish.

"I was informed we could leave if we wanted to leave. Are you saying I can't?" Carol asked, watching as Lori's face flushed. The woman had made it clear to Carol that she thought her husband was in the right. She thought he was doing everything he could to keep everyone safe. And that was okay with Carol. Lori could believe what she wanted.

"Of course you can leave if you want but you need to think about this, Carol. After everything that's happened, please," Lori pleaded.

Carol offered her a vague smile.

"You don't have any weapons. You don't have anything," Rick said, a clear challenge in his voice. She could tell that he didn't believe she would really leave the group. The truth was, she was tired of them. All of them looked at her with pity in their eyes. Even before Sophia. Everyone assumed she would be the next to die. The only reason she had made it off the farm in the first place was Daryl. He'd been a good friend to her. The only one that treated her like a person and not a piece of glass since Sophia had gotten lost

 _Since Sophia had gotten left in the woods._ She thought.

"What about Daryl?" Glenn asked suddenly, letting go of Maggie long enough to stand up.

"Daryl will be fine. He managed to thrive despite losing his brother. You think losing some woman he barely knows is going to crush him?" She kept her eyes locked onto Rick's but if he felt an ounce of guilt over leaving Merle behind he didn't show it. It didn't surprise her since Daryl had become such an asset to the group. Daryl served a purpose for Rick now so of course he wouldn't feel guilt over getting rid of the man's only family. She wondered if Lori had been right. Did he feel guilt over leaving her little girl?

With nothing but the knife that Daryl had given her she turned and headed towards the road they had been on when they found the spot where they had decided to camp. She had spent enough time being oppressed by a man. She wouldn't live under the thumb of another. Rick was nothing like Ed had been but in a sense, he still wanted to control her. He wanted to control all of them. And it wasn't out of love or actual concern. Carol knew that in a pinch, Rick was only out for himself and his family. She felt no loyalties to him.

She did, however, feel loyalties to Daryl and she knew that he'd be upset when he came back from his hunt and found her gone. He'd been the only reason she had made it through that first week after Sophia had disappeared. He had searched for her daughter. He had nearly killed himself trying to find her. He was a great man and she just hoped that he didn't let Rick or any of the others make him feel otherwise. She hated the way some of the others looked at him.

"You really goin' through with it, huh?"

She almost cried out at the sound of the voice behind her. She spun around, straining her eyes to make out the look on his face. The quarter moon didn't shed much light over his features but she could tell that he wasn't very happy about her decision to leave. She had mentioned it earlier but he hadn't agreed with her. He had claimed that Rick had done right by him and that was okay. She didn't agree, but it was still okay. "There isn't any place for me in that group. If I die out here, at least I'll have tried to do something on my own."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "That's the dumbest fuckin' thing I've ever heard. You ain't that stupid."

She sighed and then touched his arm, taking note that he only stiffened slightly at the touch. "Thank you for everything, Daryl. And please remember what I said. You're a good man. Don't let Rick change that." She turned then, managing a few steps before she heard him behind her.

"Carol?"

She turned, tilting her head to the side and smiling slightly. "Yes?"

"I still think she's out there," he said, almost too quiet for her to hear.

His words stung because she needed to keep telling herself that her daughter wasn't out there cold and alone. She wasn't out there hungry and wishing that Carol would find her. It was almost easier to think she was gone. She was at peace. "For what it's worth, I believe your brother is out there too. I hope you find him."

He stood there for a few moments and then she turned again. She heard him curse under his breath and then he grabbed her arm, turning her around. "You know goin' out there on your own is only gonna get you killed."

She shook her head. "I don't know that."

"Carol, you don't even have a goddamn gun. You got a knife. A knife ain't gonna do a damn thing for you out there."

She slowly pulled her arm out of his grip. "I can't stay with them, Daryl."

He cursed again and then glanced over his shoulder. "Look, just come back tonight. You come back tonight and then first thing in the mornin' we'll leave out."

She frowned. "I just told you that I can't-"

"Me and you. I'm still gonna find her. And maybe after I do, we can find my brother."

She blinked in surprise. "You... you want to come with me?"

He shook his head. "I wanna find my brother and I wanna find your girl. I was thinkin' earlier. Rick ain't gonna put his own family at risk to look for anybody. If I want to see my brother again, if there's a chance in hell Sophia is out there, you're right. We gotta break away from them. But one night with people at our back ain't gonna make a difference. We'll leave out first light."

She wanted to hug him. The thought of leaving the group hadn't really bothered her. Now the thought of him coming with her had tears stinging her eyes. But she didn't hug him, knowing it wouldn't be appreciated. Instead she nodded. "First light then."

They headed back towards the group and the promise of a new day. She felt hope blossom, bright and dangerous, in her chest. If he really did believe that Sophia had a chance out there, even after that herd had made it's way through, then she had to believe it too. Just a little.

~H~

Daryl gathered up his meager belongings and tied it all to the back of the bike. He wasn't sure if he had made the right decision. He wasn't sure if they were going to make it out there, just the two of them, but one thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't let her just leave.

"Daryl, if you're having second thoughts then just say so," she said softly.

He glanced at her, lighting a cigarette. His eyes slid from hers to the group that was now watching them wearily. "I ain't."

"Are you sure?"

"If I was then don't you think I'd have mentioned it by now?" He asked.

"You don't look very happy about leaving the group," she said, keeping her voice soft, like if she didn't he would snap at her.

He shook his head. "Yeah? You don't either."

"I'm not happy about leaving," she said. "But I feel like I need to. I need to do more to try to look for Sophia. And I don't want to be trapped under another man's anger."

He snorted and shook his head. "You picked one hell of a ridin' partner then."

The corner of her mouth turned up and she gave him a grateful look. Despite her bravado the night before, she looked scared now. He couldn't help but wonder if this was a good idea. He just had to hope. At least there was still that.

"You two sure you wanna do this?"

Daryl looked up, meeting Rick's eyes briefly and shrugged. "You have your family, Rick. We don't. You gonna spend the winter lookin' for our people or a safe place to take Lori and Carl?"

Rick nodded. "I understand where you're coming from Daryl."

"I don't think you do," Carol said, her voice soft and unassuming. "You didn't stop looking for your family. How can we stop looking for ours?"

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "I don't like being the one that says this. I really don't, but Daryl, you saw how bad Atlanta was. Merle was just one man. What are the chances of him-"

"A lot higher than you'd think," Daryl said, cutting him off. "You don't know him like I do."

Rick nodded, knowing there wasn't anything he could say to convince him that his brother wasn't alive. That was when his level gaze shifted to Carol and Daryl felt himself start to tense. The fucking woman had been through enough. She didn't need whatever the man was going to dump on her. She seemed to barely be hanging on as it was. He thought maybe she had known she'd never make it on her own and maybe that was the reason she had taken off last night.

"Carol, I hate to say this but you have to consider... it's been weeks. She's just a little girl with no weapons and no-"

"That's enough," Daryl said, surprising himself that he had spoken at all. "Until we find her body, there's a chance she's out there."

Rick studied him and for once, Daryl held his gaze until the man finally dropped his eyes and nodded. He walked away then without a backward glance. Daryl was about to mount the bike but the sound of running feet behind him had him turning again.

Glenn stopped and handed him a folded piece of paper.

"What's this?" Daryl asked without opening it.

Glenn motioned towards T-Dog who was standing on one of the concrete pillars, he waved and then moved his attention on to the other side. "Me and T were talking this morning and came up with at least something. Look, I know you feel like you need to go but that doesn't mean you need to stay gone. There's a town circled on that map. There's a strip mall right there on Main Street. We thought maybe we can meet up there."

Carol nodded. "That's a really good idea, Glenn."

Glenn smiled and readjusted his ball cap before his arms went around her, hugging her tightly. "What about eight weeks? Would that be long enough? If we're all still alive then we meet there?"

Daryl nodded. "Sounds good."

Glenn offered him his hand and Daryl only hesitated a moment before shaking it. "Take care and watch your asses out there, okay."

Daryl nodded and then rolled his eyes when some of the others came to see them off. By the time they were on the bike and ready to go Carol was wiping at her eyes and he was almost sure she would tell him she had changed her mind.

The strange thing was, even though he was telling himself that he was doing this for Merle, and really, he was, he couldn't honestly say that he wouldn't stay with her if she chose to stick with the group. This thought had him scowling as he pulled away from the others.

 **Things are going so much different here because Sophia never came out of the barn. I think, in the show, Daryl took a hard hit when that happened. Not at hard as Carol but it set him back a lot. He has a little more confidence here and Carol has a little more hope. Anyway, that's what they've been up to. Hope you enjoyed. =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**So I was sitting here the other night, writng away, not a care in the world, when all of a sudden my computer just shuts off. No warning. Battery fully charged. Just boom! When I got it to come back on I checked and had lost about 10,000 words for this story. I was so pissed. Anyway, I'm working on rewriting them. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Eight**

Merle wasn't sure if she was going to be able to pull it off after a week of nothing to report back to him. He was thinking she'd only agreed to do what he said just to save her own ass. Then again, she could have just been cautious, which was smart.

The lady that he had seen when he'd first woke up in Woodbury came by to check on him and was confused that he was getting around as well as he was. She insisted that the doctor had been certain that the break was severe enough to put him out of commission for a while but now she was starting to think that the man had misjudged the fracture. The equipment that they were using was old and less reliable than if they had state of the art stuff.

"You sure there isn't more pain than you're letting on?" She asked. "I promise I won't tell anyone. I just need to make sure you aren't putting on a show. You could do a lot of damage if you aren't careful."

He shook his head. "Nope. Gives me trouble every now and then but for the most part, I'm good." And he was telling the truth.

The door flew open and Maddy stepped in, her face flushed and her hair windblown. He took one look at her eyes and knew something was up. "Hi," she said with a smile for the other woman, her voice a little breathless.

"Has he been complaining of more pain than usual?" The woman asked, not bothering with pleasantries. "Tell me the truth, now."

Maddy shook her head. "Nope. He's been fine. I still can't talk him into leaving this room but he seems to be getting around better every day."

The woman looked perplexed but finally just shrugged. "Well, I don't guess you'll be needing anymore pills then."

Merle scowled. "Now, wait just a minute. You can't just not give me my meds, lady." He actually hoarded the pills and took a lot at a time. It was the only kind of buzz he could get in this hellhole and he hated to think that he was about to lose that.

The woman shrugged. "You're healing up just fine Mr. Dixon. We don't have an endless supply of pharmaceuticals around here. I can't be giving you pills that you don't need. It's a waste."

Merle grimaced and watched as she left the room. "That goddamn cow," he muttered.

"I found it!" Maddy said after the woman had time to get down the hall.

Merle went to the window and glanced out at the street. "Found what?" He asked, wondering if he should have acted like he was in more pain than he was.

"The guns. I found the building where they keep them," she said excitedly. "One of the men saw me but I played it cool just like you told me to and he didn't look suspicious at all."

He gaped at her. "You're fuckin' with me. Don't fuck with me, woman."

She shook her head. "I'm not fucking with you a bit. I swear it. They keep their guns in a big steel building right on the outskirts. But it's weird because they aren't just keeping guns there. They're keeping biters there too. Like, a lot of them. I saw a few of the men corralling them into another building like... cattle."

"But somebody saw you?" He asked, unwilling to let himself get too excited just yet. Finding the guns was the first step. They still had a lot to do before he could get rid of Blake and those fucking lackeys of his.

She nodded. "Yes but don't worry about that. He was really sweet."

Merle scoffed. "You're so fuckin' naive. None of those blood thirsty assholes are sweet."

She shrugged. " _You_ aren't sweet. That guy was sweet."

"So, were you able to get a good look. They got a big supply or what?" He asked, ignoring the jab. He didn't care if she didn't think he was sweet. He'd never claimed to be the sweet one.

"Yes, and there's a lot of stuff in there. I don't know where it could have came from but it's a lot and please don't ask what kind of guns because you know that I have no idea."

"I didn't expect you to," he said, feeling a spark of excitement. "Do you know if it's locked up?"

She nodded. "It is. The man I talked to had a key. I watched him lock it up."

He grinned. "You did damn good, girl. Goddamn good."

She ran a hand through her hair and gave him a sheepish smile in return. "It was kind of fun. Scary, but fun."

"My faith in you is restored," he said, grabbing his vest from the bedpost where he had hung it earlier. He slipped it on.

"What are you gonna do now?" She asked, watching him.

He shrugged. "Now that I don't need that goddamn crutch, I'm gonna take a look around this hole myself. I wanna meet some of these assholes that you keep tellin' me about."

"Oh how exciting," she said with a roll of her eyes. "My reclusive husband, showing his face to the world for the first time in weeks."

"Yeah, well, it's about time to do a little bit myself. You did good though," he added. He usually wasn't one to dole out compliments but damn if she hadn't surprised him.

"Coming from you, that's a hell of a compliment," she said sarcastically.

He frowned. "I've complimented you before."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Merle, telling me I have a nice rack is not really the kind of compliment that a woman wants to hear."

He eyed her. "What if I told you that when it gets lonely around here, and I get in the mood to blow off a little steam, I picture buryin' my head between your legs and it helps me get off quicker."

Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. A deep blush rose from her neck to her hairline. He grinned and then when she finally closed her mouth he made a split second decision and then gripped the back of her head, pulling her closer and then kissing her hard. He did it to be an asshole. He did it just to get a rise out of her. He did it just because he was Merle goddamn Dixon and he flat out fucking could do it.

But he hadn't expected to _like_ it.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. She had a hell of a mouth on her and he'd had a feeling that her lips would feel good as fuck, no matter where they were on him. But this wasn't just him enjoying it. This was him reacting to it in a weird fucking way.

It took her a second to get over the shock and then she jerked away from him, her eyes flashing angrily. "What the hell is wrong with you!" She snapped.

He shook off the strange feeling and then shrugged, stepping past her. "Let's get out there. I need to meet these men."

~H~

She wanted to hit him right in the mouth. She should have but she wasn't one hundred percent certain that he wouldn't hit her right back and he was stronger than her. She wasn't about to face all the people here knowing they thought she was a battered wife.

He was a horrible man. He was self involved and he was egocentric and he was disgusting. He was a lewd and vile human being. He wasn't even a human being at all! He was a filthy pig! She was used to him saying things. He said things all the time. He was constantly making comments like he had earlier. Well, not as bad, but he'd never touched her. How dare him kiss her like that!

And how dare she actually enjoy it!

She scowled as they made their way down the street. They kept at a slow pace and she was almost positive that he had been misdiagnosed. He had a limp but it wasn't anything too bad and if he'd actually had a broken leg then surely he wouldn't be able to even do this much.

"Where do these assholes usually hang out?" Merle asked, his sharp eyes taking in his surroundings without really looking like he was searching for anything specific.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she said in a clipped tone. "It isn't like I ever go searching for them."

Merle snorted. "Don't be like that." He stopped and leaned his back against the warm bricks of one of the buildings.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked off down the street, refusing to meet his eyes. "Like what? You asked a question and I gave you an answer."

He sighed. "Was it that bad? Really?" There was a smug smile threatening at the corners of his mouth that had her wanting to hit him again. She usually wasn't a violent person but he seemed to be determined to bring that out in her.

"Yes. It was that bad. You can't just go around kissing women like that!"

"I didn't. I kissed you. And I even kept my hands to myself. Goddamn, I haven't copped the first feel, woman! You're too goddamn uptight."

Her eyes narrowed and she was about to tell him that if he tried he would end up losing that hand that she saved the night she had met him, but Philip Blake and a man she'd met several times, and actually liked, came around the side of the building.

"Well, well," Blake smiled. "Good to see you up and around, Dixon."

Maddy could nearly feel the air grow colder as Merle turned his head towards the man.

"Yeah. Kinda seems like somebody must have had their facts wrong. Makin' things seem worse than they actually were, huh?"

Blake shrugged. "Well, we do what we can around here, Merle. Mistakes can happen."

Merle nodded. "That's the truth."

Philip turned his gaze to Maddy and without thinking she moved a little closer to Merle. She was mad at him at the moment but between the two of them, she knew who the real predator was here. "Madison," he said, nodding in greeting.

She smiled, keeping it a little frosty for Blake but then offering Martinez a real smile that he returned quickly. He was the one that had caught her snooping. He was always polite and friendly and never tried to make a show of being one of Blake's men, even though it was a position around here that was envied by many of the regular townsfolk.

"Well, you two have a nice walk. Maddy, that little Jane Doe of yours still hasn't spoke. You might want to pay her a visit. She seems to trust you. Maybe you can try again to get something out of her," Blake said as they took off further down the street.

"What the hell was that?" Merle asked, his brows pulling together in a frown.

"What?" She asked, still not meeting his eyes.

He grunted and shook his head. "Nothin'. Never mind. What the hell is he talkin' about, Jane Doe?"

She shrugged and nodded towards the end of the street. "The little girl I found about a week or so back. She's been staying with Tara and so far no one has been able to get her to say anything. I haven't been over there in a few days but I guess now is as good a time as any. Good luck hunting down those men." She started across the street but he was suddenly next to her again.

"I changed my mind. I'll meet those assholes another time," he grumbled. "Some mute kid would probably be more interesting than any of those fucks anyway."

She didn't comment, deciding it would do her no good. He was obviously in some sort of mood now so it was better to just keep her mouth shut.


	9. Chapter 9

**I figured since I was on a roll today that I'd just update this again too. Hope you guys are havign a good week. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Nine**

Merle's mood had soured completely. Probably because he'd ran into the asshole Blake. God he hated that mother fucker. He needed to figure out the lay of the land. He needed to worm his way into the good graces of some of the men here. He needed to learn more about how things moved along in this place.

If he was more patient he could always just wait until Blake handed him the keys to the kingdom and then just blow the mother fuckers brains out as soon as he had a gun in his hand. But shit wasn't going to be that easy. Things usually never were. The men here respected Blake and they wouldn't just let someone kill the bastard without retaliating. If he did that then Maddy would be in a heap of trouble.

He followed her into one of the other buildings, leaning against the wall when she stopped and knocked lightly at a door. She still looked pissed off but she'd get over it. Maybe he shouldn't have kissed her but before it ended, she had kissed him back. He was sure of that.

Her stern look dissolved when the door opened up and a dark haired girl poked her head out. "Hi, Tara."

"Hey! Come on in."

Maddy stepped into the room and Merle followed. It was bigger than their room. This one looked like an actual apartment.

"You must be Merle," the girl, whom he assumed was Tara, said. She held out her hand. "I'm Tara."

He shook her hand still glancing around the place. "I figured."

Maddy elbowed him and smiled at Tara. "So, where is your guest?"

Tara pointed to a door across the room. "Getting dressed. She was in the shower. She still hasn't said anything and she still has nightmares." Tara shook her head. "I'm not sure what to do with her, really. I'm not getting anywhere with her."

"I'm sorry," Maddy said, glancing at the closed door worriedly.

Merle sat down on the couch. This was some boring ass shit. He should have went exploring on his own. Now he was stuck here listening to these two make small talk over some dumb mute kid that he didn't give a damn about.

He tuned them out and picked at a callous on his hand but when the door finally opened and a little girl stepped out he froze. He fucking knew this kid! The girl looked miserable. There were fading bruises on her skinny arms and her wide eyes looked sad and desolate. Tara hadn't noticed him looking at the girl and he was glad. He didn't know Tara and he didn't need her reporting back to Blake that he knew this kid. But he knew her.

Her dad was Ed. He'd talked to him a few times. He was a woman beater and his baby brother hadn't liked him much. Her mama seemed to try to protect the kid from the man for the most part. If this was the same kid that Maddy had found out there then where the hell was the rest of the group? Was his brother...

The girl, Sophia was her name, he remembered, looked up at him and he instantly looked away. He didn't need her acting any different in front of this Tara person. No one here could know he knew her. He wasn't even sure why. He just knew. Sometimes his gut would tell him something and he would always listen. But he needed to get the kid alone. He needed to figure out what happened to the rest of them.

"I'll be right back. I'll get you two some coffee," Tara said suddenly.

As soon as Tara left the room Merle looked at the little girl again. She was staring at him, her eyes wide. Merle glanced towards the doorway where Tara had disappeared through. He leaned forward. "You're Sophia," he said, keeping his voice low.

The little girl glanced in the same direction Merle had and then her eyes flicked over to Maddy before nodding.

Maddy gasped and then stood up. She was perceptive enough to know that there was something going on here and Merle didn't want her friend to know about it. She held up her finger and slipped from the room, off to talk to the other woman. Merle heard her ask Tara about letting them take Sophia down the street for some lunch.

"You remember me?" He asked, keeping his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes boring into the girls.

She nodded again.

"Your ass ain't mute or dumb at all. You need to tell me what the hell happened to the group."

She glanced towards the doorway again and then looked at him. "Can you get me out of here?"

He frowned and motioned towards the doorway. "That lady in there givin' you a hard way to go?"

The girl shook her head quickly and then seemed to shut down. Merle looked up and saw Maddy and Tara coming back. Maddy smiled. "You two feel like going on a walk?" She asked, her expression pleasant despite the fact that there was something going on. Something big.

Merle stood up, hoping he looked just as calm. "Yeah. I've been shut up inside for too damn long."

Once they were out on the street Maddy kept that passive look on her face but her voice carried a degree of anxiety. "What is going on?"

Merle didn't even look at her as he walked. "I know her. She was with that group. Was there anybody with her when you found her?"

Maddy shook her head. "No, no one. She came stumbling out of the woods when Martinez and I were going through some cars on the highway. She was alone."

"Fuck," he hissed under his breath.

"She can't tell you anything, Merle and I won't stand around and let you bully her. She's just a little a girl."

Merle snorted and led them back to their room instead of the building where they could get their food. The girl was keeping quiet and he was glad. If anyone saw her talking to them then who knew what the fuck would happen to her. It was better for everyone to think she was a little dumb ass that couldn't talk.

Once the door was closed he sat down on the edge of the bed, gripped the girl by her shoulders and met her eyes. "Now, spill," he said, his voice low.

"Merle, I already told you that I wasn't-"

"It's alright," Sophia said, glancing up at her. Maddy's mouth dropped. When the girl met his eyes she looked scared but she took a deep breath and started talking again. "We had to stop because of Dale's RV. It broke down again. Walkers came, tons of them, and we all had to hide under the cars so they wouldn't eat us. I thought they were gone so I crawled out but two of them came after me and I ran. I ran to the woods to get away."

"What about my brother? Was he with the group?" Merle asked, dropping his hands from her shoulders now that he knew he didn't have to threaten any information out of her.

Sophia nodded. "He was. I don't know what happened once I was in the woods though. I don't know if any of them are alive. Not Daryl or my mom or..."

"Why the hell have you been actin' like a dumb mute?" He asked, interrupting her before she could start crying or some dumb shit.

"Merle, stop saying it like that!" Maddy admonished, crossing her arms. "People that can't talk aren't dumb. You are for saying that."

He ignored her.

Sophia pushed her hair behind her ears and glanced at Maddy. "At first I was too scared to say anything because I didn't know if Maddy or Martinez were bad people or not. Then I just didn't want to say anything because I wanted Mr. Blake to leave me alone."

Merle and Maddy shared a look. "What do you mean, leave you alone?"

Sophia shrugged and sat down on the couch across from him. "He comes by and makes me go on walks with him sometimes. He took me to his apartment because he wanted me to meet his daughter."

Merle scowled. "He ain't got a daughter."

Sophia nodded. "You're right. She's gone but he doesn't think she's gonna stay gone. He tells me that he's gonna figure out a way to make her better and then I'll have someone to play with."

Maddy showed a lot more patience than Merle. "Honey, what do you mean, gone?"

Sophia looked up, her eyes wide. "She's a walker. He keeps her locked up inside the wall."

Maddy covered her mouth with her hand and Merle shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Tara is nice and all but she likes Mr. Blake. I didn't want her to know I could talk. I'm afraid he's gonna throw me in there with Penny."

"Holy fuck. He's a regular goddamn psychopath," Merle muttered, meeting Maddy's troubled eyes.

Maddy looked down at Sophia, her eyes softening. "I'm going to ask if you can stay with us, okay? You won't have to worry about keeping so quiet."

"What?" Merle frowned. "We got one goddamn room!"

She looked at him, hands on his hips. "Are you serious? We aren't letting her go back to Tara's. I'll go talk to Blake my damn self. Stop being so selfish!"

"I'm not givin' up the damn bed," he grumbled, leaning back on his elbows and studying the woman.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that? Haven't you dug yourself in a deep enough hole today? Quit while you're ahead, Merle, or I'll take the girl and get my own damn room."

He scoffed. "Empty threats. You need me."

Sophia eyed them both before finally settling her gaze on him. "Mr. Dixon, I didn't know you were married."

He shook his head. "Yeah, well, I won't be for long if this one don't learn her damn place."

"Well," the girl asked, her wide eyes meeting his, "Are we going to go find your brother and my mom?"

Merle chewed his lip for a moment, thinking. "You know how to shoot a gun?"

"Merle," Maddy growled, a clear warning in her voice.

"I ain't takin' some goddamn kid out there that I'd have to watch out for. It's bad enough I have to drag you around with me," he snapped.

Her eyes grew cold and then she grabbed Sophia's hand. "Let's go find something for lunch, Sophia. Merle's a big boy. He can fend for himself or he can starve. Hopefully he starves."

He glared at her and then the door slammed shut.


	10. Chapter 10

**I have been writing my brains out the last couple of days! That makes me happy. Hope you all had a good weekend and thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Ten**

It took another four weeks before Merle actually had another sit down with Philip Blake. He had made amends with Maddy but Blake wouldn't give the okay for Sophia to stay with them. He thought it would be better if she stayed on with Tara. The little girl still kept her mouth shut but Merle could tell that she was itching to get away from the town. He didn't blame her.

He spent a fair amount of time with the kid and she wasn't so bad after those first few days. She was smart and once she stopped being such a fucking chicken shit about everything, she was alright. She told him about the walkers tearing the hell out of the quarry camp and about going to the CDC. She tried to come up with plans to leave Woodbury but Merle kept telling her that they had to bide their time.

"Maybe I should learn how to stab things in the head since you can't teach me to shoot yet," Sophia said as she stretched out on the bed, her feet crossed at her skinny ankles.

Merle looked up from under his brow as he sharpened the knife in his hand. "I'll give you the knife and you can practice on Maddy," he grumbled.

Sophia smiled. She was doing that a lot more lately and he hated to admit it but he liked the change in her. It was hard not to give a fuck about these two when they were the only ones that really had anything to do with him. "You like her. I can tell."

He snorted and went back to work on his knife. "No I don't. I don't like you either. Just stuck with you for now. Once we get my brother and your mama back, I won't be stuck in this rut."

She sat up, moving so she was lying on her stomach, her chin resting on her fists as she watched him. "When we find them, are we all gonna move on or can we be our own group?"

Merle shrugged. "Me and my brother ain't stayin' with your mama's group. I don't see why your mama would come with us Dixons and Maddy is getting dropped off with the first damn group I find. Whether I know them or not."

She giggled. "I think you have a crush on her."

Merle rolled his eyes. "She's a bitch."

"She's really sweet to you. I'm around enough to know that," Sophia argued.

Just then the door swung open and Maddy walked in, a tray in her hand. Sophia snickered but Merle gave her a look and she schooled her face. Maddy divvied up the soup. After they ate Sophia would have to go back to Tara's but Merle had told the kid that it wasn't going to be too much longer now. Things were going to change.

And he'd meant it too. It was time for him to prove to the Governor that he was ready to take on whatever role he wanted. He hadn't been able to get into the building with the guns. There were eyes all over him whenever he left the damn room and he was sure that when Maddy had been spotted snooping around, it had been passed on to Blake. But shit was about to change today.

"You go on ahead and take her back to Tara's on your own. I got some shit to do," he said once they were finished eating.

Sophia and Maddy shared a look before they both stared at him, their eyes full of questions. Maddy cleared her throat. "How about you wait until I get back so we can talk about it?"

Sophia scowled. "I'm allowed to hear. Are you gonna kill him?"

Merle's brows went up. "Girl, where you get an idea like that?"

She shrugged and then started getting her coat on.

"Merle?" Maddy asked, zipping up her own coat.

He sighed and then nodded. "Alright. I'll be here."

She quickly left the room and he stood up, running a hand over his head. He didn't know what he was going to have to do to earn that son of a bitch's trust but he'd do it. For the first time in his goddamn life he felt like he had a responsibility to someone other than himself. It wasn't the same as that protectiveness he felt towards his little brother. He didn't really like the feeling but there wasn't shit he could do about it.

That fucking infuriating woman had somehow gotten into his head and she'd been nesting there for a while now. Like a goddamn rat, chewing on the darker parts of his mind, a regular fucking maggot, eating the dead bits. He fucking hated her for it. He hated her and he hated that fucking kid and he'd fight the goddamn whole world to keep them out of harms way if he had to. It was a fucked up feeling. One he didn't want. One he didn't like. But it wasn't going anywhere.

He paced for a few minutes, checking his watch and then glancing towards the window. It was nearly dark out now and it was cold as fuck outside. Blake had sent word earlier that he wanted to see him and he knew what it was about.

His goddamn leg had never been broken. Not like they had implied at first. Blake had just wanted him to make himself at home there and making him think that he wasn't going to be able to go anywhere for a while was a good way to do it. Now he didn't feel any pain at all.

Well, that wasn't true. He was starting to get a headache. He didn't like thinking about Maddy and the girl. He hated it.

He looked up when the door opened and Maddy came in. She was shivering even though she had a coat on. She stripped it off and then met his eyes. "Why can't we just take Sophia and get the hell out of here? Why do you have to meet with him at all?" The worry was clear in her voice.

He shook his head. "Where too? You got yourself a walled off town you ain't told me about yet?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced towards the windows. "The walkers are slower now. We have a chance now that the weather's turned."

"A chance?" He spat, not sure where all this anger was coming from but unable to do anything about it. "A chance at what? Freezin' to death? You gonna put a bullet in that kids head after she dies out there from exposure?"

She flinched. "I just don't want to be here anymore. Your leg is better and the sooner we get out the better the chances of us finding-"

"Shut up, Maddy." He laughed bitterly. "Just shut the fuck up for five seconds and listen to yourself. You ain't that stupid. That kid's mom is dead. My brother, he's probably dead right along with her. The only goddamn thing I can do now is make sure we don't end up just like'em. And if that means pretending to be something to this mother fucker for a while then that's what I have to do."

She shook her head, her eyes wide. "You said you thought they were out there. You've been telling Sophia for a month now that-"

"I lied," he said darkly. He didn't think that his brother was out there anymore. The winter was too fucking hard. There were herds of those things all over the fucking place and he was runnin' with a group of fucking morons. Unless he broke away from that group, which he hadn't had the sense to do after they came back without Merle, then there wasn't a chance. He hated it, but he didn't really think his brother was alive. Not right now.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She hissed, her eyes colder than he'd ever seen them before. "Why have you been telling her that her mom is out there? Why have you been telling me that we can go as soon as we get weapons?"

He ran a hand over his face. "That girl's mom has been as good as dead since this whole goddamn thing started. She was a fuckin' punching bag. She was weak enough then, but now?" He scoffed, "Wouldn't surprise me if she didn't put a bullet in her own brain after that little girl wasn't found right away. I never thought the woman would still be kickin'. She was too goddamn weak and it's a good thing the girl got away when she did or she'd be the same."

Maddy shook her head. "And your brother?"

He smiled and then shouldered past her. "If my brother was stupid enough to stay with that group after what they did to me, then he's as good as dead. Fuck him and fuck that goddamn group." He slammed the door on his way out, not even glancing back.

He hadn't meant that last part. Not at all. But he needed to get his head in the right place. He couldn't show a goddamn ounce of weakness in front of this man because if he did, he was fucked and he knew it. Blake wanted somebody that could get shit done? Fine. Merle would show the mother fucker exactly what the fuck he was made of.

He didn't knock on the door. He walked right in and everyone else in the room grew silent as he shut the door behind himself soundly. Blake leaned back in his chair like some kind of freak on a throne. He was sitting behind a wide wooden desk. "Somebody said you wanted to talk," Merle said, sounding slightly more in control than when he'd stormed out of his own room.

Blake nodded and glanced at the other men. "Can you gentlemen give me us a few moments?"

There were six men in the room and he recognized them all but he only knew the names of the Mexican and the big black bastard. They both eyed him coldly as they walked past and then Martinez stopped. "Tell Maddy I said hello," he said, grinning as Merle narrowed his eyes.

Once the door was closed Blake gestured towards a chair across from him. "How are you fairing, Merle? You look like you're getting around much better."

Merle held his gaze, neither willing to break the stare. "Just fine. Ready to get the hell outta that room. I'm also ready to figure out exactly what it is you want me to do around here."

Blake smiled. "Actually it isn't really around here that I'm worried about. It's out there."

Merle blinked, waiting for him to continue.

"You see Merle, I don't come upon the supplies we have here by chance. I have to go out there and I have to hunt for the things we have here. Do you understand what I'm saying?" He asked.

Merle was pretty sure he knew exactly what the man was talking about. "You rob people for supplies. I get it."

Blake studied him. "And exactly how do you feel about that?"

"I feel like a dumb ass for not thinkin' of doing shit like that myself."

The grin on Blake's face widened and he nodded. "I knew you'd get it. As soon as I saw you, before you were even conscious I said to myself, now here is a man that can help me take this place to greater heights. Here's a man that knows how to keep things in control."

Merle allowed a small smile of his own. "What's the job?"

Blake leaned back in his chair. "I'm only one man. I have a lot of things here to oversee. Things around here don't run smoothly because we hope they will. There has to be someone behind the scenes, making sure that happens."

"No offense but you're a little bit to goddamn flamboyant to try to act like you're doin' all you do behind the scenes."

Blake laughed, looking delighted. "Oh I didn't mean me. There's someone else that's been working behind the scenes. Someone that's been like a brother to me since we started cleaning this place up."

"And?" Merle raised one eyebrow.

Blake's smile dimmed. "Well, I've learned that he isn't who I thought he was. He was the one that was in charge of getting things done, keeping the men in line, gathering supplies we need. It didn't take me too long to learn that he had his own agenda. He's got a knife stuck in my back. He doesn't know I know it but my men are eager to take his place so they felt the urge to fill me in on what he's been out there doing."

"Like what? What the hell could this guy be doin' that's worse than what you order him to do?" Merle asked, trying hard to keep his composure.

"He's keeping guns for himself. He's got plans to take me down."

"That's a damn shame," Merle said and if Blake heard the sarcasm in his voice he chose to ignore it.

"Merle, I want you to take his place. I want you to be the right hand that a man like me needs. I need someone strong enough to be that man behind the scenes that make things go smoothly here."

Merle rubbed the back of his neck and leaned forward in his seat, his eyes glinting eagerly. "What do I need to do first?"

Blake sighed heavily and his face grew pensive. "I need to know that you have what it takes. I can't risk needing you to do something and you not having the stomach to do it. Can I trust you?"

Merle nodded, holding the man's gaze for a long time before Blake finally smiled. "I need you to take care of someone for me. The very man you're going to replace."

"Let me guess. You ain't needin' me to take him out for a few beers, huh?" Merle asked, knowing what he was expected to do here.

Blake shook his head and then called Martinez back into the room. When the man came in he didn't look very happy with the smile on his bosses face. "Martinez, can you send Perkins in here for me, please?"

Martinez nodded and left the room. Less than a minute later another man showed up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Maddy shoved a few more things in her bag, turning in a circle, her angry eyes scanning the room. She wanted to make sure she had everything she needed. Glancing down at the table she spotted Merle's knife and then grabbed it, shoving it further into her bag so her clothes were covering it up. She wasn't about to leave out on her own with no weapon. She would need it a lot more than he ever would. Hopefully if he was back before she left he wouldn't notice it missing.

She had sat there for a long time telling herself that he had been bluffing. She told herself that he had just been in one of those moods of his and he would get over it. But the truth was, she didn't believe herself anymore. He had no intentions of getting the guns and leaving this town. He wanted to get the guns and then kill the men that ran the town.

She wished she could take Sophia with her. She had grown close to the little girl over the last month and since she had been the one to bring her here in the first place she felt a little responsible for her. And it was going to break her heart when she finally learned the truth. Sophia seemed to look up to Merle. Maybe it was because he had been a member of the same group. Maybe through Merle, she felt a slight connection to her mother.

She shook her head. She couldn't worry about that. Regardless of how bad the girl's heart would be broken, she would be safe behind the walls and even though Merle was the biggest fucking asshole in existence, he would look out for Sophia as best he could.

She had tried. She had tried as hard as she could but she didn't see the point in trying anymore. She wanted to think that she could walk out the door without another thought but that was a lie. She didn't know why but she cared about the man. Cared about him a lot more than she should have considering he was a grade A piece of crap that didn't give a good goddamn about anyone but himself. But she couldn't just shut off her feelings. No matter how much she scolded herself for feeling that way, it simply didn't have a shut off switch. Leaving him was going to be painful but she had been through worse. She had lost her sisters. She had lost everything.

She went into the bathroom, just to double check to make sure she had everything she may need out of there and stiffened when she heard the door to their room close. When she came out he was still facing the door, his head bowed slightly and his shoulders slumped. She dropped her bag to the floor and kicked it under the bed, out of site. She would leave when she knew he was asleep. Right now her concern for him was at the forefront of her mind.

"Merle?"

His head came up, he squared his shoulders and then he turned. "Figured you'd be asleep," he said, his voice sounding off.

She shook her head, barely registering his words at all because there were smears of blood on his forearms. There was more on his shirt and face. When she met his eyes they didn't look like the eyes of the man that had walked out earlier. There was still a measure of anger simmering there, sharp and dangerous but under it was something else. A haunted look that had her forgetting that she had been about to leave. "What did you do?" She asked quietly, knowing deep down that she didn't want to know.

He walked towards her and she found herself taking a step back. Her heart started pounding harder and she was dismayed to find herself afraid. Afraid of _him_. It seemed absurd. He walked past her, careful to go out of his way to keep from touching her on his way by. He shut the bathroom door.

He hadn't answered her. She knew he hadn't killed Philip Blake because he would have said something. But he'd killed someone. He had _murdered_ a person tonight. Someone was dead and they were dead because Merle killed them.

She felt her eyes fill up with tears but she fought them back. This was who he was. This was the man that she had saved. This was... her friend. She swallowed around the lump in her throat when she heard the faucet turn on. He was cleaning himself up. She swiped the tears that had escaped and then bent down, retrieving her bag. She had managed to make it to the door when he came out of the bathroom, her hand on the knob.

She stood there for a second as silence dominated and then opened the door.

"Maddy, don't."

She froze with her hand on the knob. The sound of his voice had that lump in her throat growing more painful. She needed to leave this place. It was already turning him into someone that she didn't know and she was terrified that it would do the same to her. Or maybe that wasn't true. Maybe this is who Merle Dixon had always been.

So why was she closing the door?

She stood there for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. When she turned he wasn't looking at her. He was sitting on the bed, picking at his nails. She knew that it was probably hard for him to tell her not to go. She wasn't sure what to do now. What was she suppose to say to man that had just killed someone? She should have fled. She should have walked out whether he wanted her to or not but there was some pull he had over her. It had been there since the moment she spoke to him on that rooftop.

She stopped in front of him and let the bag slide down her arm, dropping it to the floor next to her. He was shirtless and all the blood was washed away. When he finally looked up his eyes locked on to hers and she was suddenly reminded of a man drowning. He looked... vulnerable. She had never seen such a rawness in him before and she realized that this was why she had endured his crap for this long. "Why?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He held her gaze and she could almost see that mask falling into place. "I did what I had to do," he said, his voice still a low rasp, barely audible.

"Why did you have to do it?" She asked, needing him to give her an answer that she could live with. Needing to know that he wasn't just some cold blooded-

"You think this is the first time I've killed a man?" He asked.

She held his gaze. He wasn't bluffing. "You aren't a murderer," she said, unsure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

"That' what you wanna think. You want people to be good. It just ain't how things are."

"You aren't all bad. If you were then I'd have left a while ago. Why do you want me to think that?" And she thought he did. He wanted her to think the worst of him and she didn't understand it. Even now, knowing that he had taken a life, listening to him tell her that it wasn't the first time, she believed that there was something in there worth fighting for.

"Because you need to learn that some people are just bad, Maddy. Some people ain't worth the Goddamn spit it takes to conjure up to speak to them. You need to stop thinkin' that people are worth savin'."

"I don't believe that about _everyone_. I believe it about you," she muttered.

He shook his head slowly. "You got a lot to learn if you're gonna survive this world. You know that?"

She felt the corner of her mouth turn up. "And you have a lot to learn if you're gonna _live_ in it."

He finally looked up, meeting her eyes. She knew that she should be disgusted. She should feel repulsed by him, knowing what he had done. But she didn't feel that way. He had that vulnerable look about him again. Her other hand went to the side of his face. "You were leavin'," deadpanned.

She nodded. "I have to leave. I don't want to see what staying here is gonna do to you. You're walking a tight rope here, Merle. I know you aren't the greatest guy in the world. But I also know you aren't the worst. There's a lot of good in there. If you stay here, you're gonna lose that. You're gonna go all in and we both know it. I'm not sticking around to see it happen."

"You just gonna walk out on that girl?" He asked.

She could see it. He was trying to push that ever present anger, that constant resentment, to the forefront of his mind because her words caused a reaction inside of him that he didn't know how to deal with. He wasn't hard to read. He wasn't some big mystery, no matter how badly he wanted to come off that way. "How am I going to manage to help her on my own? I'm doubting I'm going to be able to take care of myself out there."

He shook his head, his eyes flashing. "You're runnin'. This what you do? Shit gets hard and you take off? You can help the goddamn girl."

"And you can help me help her. You're the one running, Merle. Settling for being some hit man for a psychopath."

"I did what I had to fuckin' do. Just like you're doin'," he snapped.

She chewed her lip, watching him, not making a move to back away from him. He expected her to do just that but she wanted to get through to him. She wanted him to know that she knew that he was better than he was settling for.

"What? You got nothin' to say? I can't kill a son of a bitch that I know has killed other men but you can pack your goddamn bags and leave town?" He stood up then, so close now that her body was pressed against his.

"You don't have to kill. You can leave," she argued. The silence that followed buffeted her ears and she saw many emotions in eyes before they finally cleared.

"Give me a week," he said suddenly, his eyes boring into hers. "One week."

"And then what?"

He shook his head. "Give me a week to get rid of him."

She shook her head slowly. "It isn't worth it. We should be out there looking. I don't believe that you think your brother's gone."

He growled but she just raised her hand until she was gripping both his shoulders. His muscles tensed under her touch. "You don't know what you're talkin' about."

"Leave. We can pack our things and go tonight."

"And leave that kid?" He asked, his eyes darkening.

She shook her head and cursed. "No. Damn it," she cursed again and then tried to take a step back but suddenly his hands were on her hips, hauling her closer again.

"At least give me a goddamn week to get access to everything we're gonna need. Then we'll leave."

"With Sophia?" She asked, hope causing her fingers to flex into his skin.

He didn't look happy about it but he nodded. "Still don't think we're gonna be able to find her mom but I'll give it a go if you just give me one more week."

He was caving. He wanted to stay and she knew it. He wanted to kill Philip Blake and he wanted to take over Woodbury. But he was caving and he was caving because of her. It couldn't have been easy for him. He had tried to fight it but now he was letting it go. She just had to give him a week. One week.

Suddenly, it didn't matter that he had blood on his hands. Somehow she understood why he did what he had done. He wasn't a monster, even though that's exactly what he wanted her to think. Deep down, whatever he had done tonight, he had done it for her. And then she found herself pulling his face down to hers.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

They had gotten used to the cold. It wasn't new to them at all. They didn't have to run as hard as he had expected because walkers moved slower in weather like this. It had gotten to the point where Daryl almost dreaded days that the weather warmed up. That wasn't something they had to worry about at the moment though. Right now what they had to worry about was freezing to death.

He had never been so cold in his life. He couldn't remember a winter where the air cut into him like this before. There was no breeze and if there had been both of them would have eventually given up. The bike had finally bit the dust days ago and he had stashed it in the woods, hiding it as best he could. He knew the problem but he didn't have the tools it would take to fix it and he would be an idiot to walk the damn thing around with him.

Instead of taking roads they had kept to the woods closer to the Greene farm, even though they didn't consciously get to close to Hershel's old property. He wasn't sure why. They both knew that there was shelter to be had there since the herd that had decimated the place had long ago cleared out. He assumed that Carol was reluctant to go simply because she had spent so much time there, thinking that he would eventually come out of the woods with her daughter.

Hope had died on that farm and neither one of them were ready to face it again. Not yet anyway.

They had been walking for hours and, just like every other day, he hadn't picked up any trails. Every once in a while they would run into a lone sluggish walker, quickly dispose of it, and move on wordlessly. Neither of them had much to say. The last month had been long, cold, and silent. They had lost light over an hour ago but still walked. The snow had started falling about thirty minutes ago, obscuring their vision. He knew they should stop but he wanted a roof over his head tonight. They didn't need to get buried under the snow and he didn't know how much was going to end up falling.

"Daryl," she said, her quiet voice startling him.

He glanced at her. She was pointing off towards the east and he squinted. They had exited the woods a while ago, making their slow way through a field that seemed endless, the uneven ground kept them stumbling, since both of them couldn't really feel their feet anymore. He squinted in the direction she was pointing and could just make out the silhouette of a structure a few hundred yards away. It looked to be a barn, which wasn't as good as a house, but it would offer them some kind of shelter anyway. "Good eye," he said, veering off towards the building.

She beamed and then hurried along, quickening her pace in anticipation of getting warm. The closer they got he realized that it wasn't the type of old barn that they had came across before. This was one of those steal buildings. For the first time in weeks he felt hopeful. This was a score for sure.

There was a large roll up door that was locked up tight with a massive pad lock but the man sized door just had a basic lock that he picked easily with a small pocket knife. He opened the door and shined the flashlight inside, holding it between his teeth as he held the crossbow at the ready. Carol came in behind him, rifle in hand. She had gotten pretty good over the last month and he felt pretty secure with her at his back. He never expected to feel that way but was glad he did. All the weeks on the road would have been a lot harder if he had been forced to be the only one looking out for both their asses.

It was one big room for the most part. They checked the space quickly and her sudden laughter had him looking up sharply. She covered her mouth with her hand and muttered an apology.

He understood why she was happy though. The place was full of bales upon bales of wheat straw. Between the two of them they had four blankets that were wrapped tightly and tied to their packs. In weather so frigid they would have no choice but to share, which was fine with him at this point. They had shared before. But now they could literally make a nest and conserve even more body heat.

"It's weird how something as mundane as a bale of straw and a secure door can mean a lot more now than it ever did before," she muttered as she helped him cut the twine that held the bales together.

He nodded in response and the two of them fell into silence once more as they hurriedly created a spot to get some much needed rest. "Feels like I ain't slept in days," he grumbled, shaking out one of his own blankets to keep their bodies from getting poked by the hay that was now stacked in a piled three feet off the cold concrete floor.

"Because we really haven't," she said as she kicked off her boots. "I hope I don't lose any toes."

He went back, double checking the door and making sure that the steal slider lock was in place before hurrying back to her. He wasn't fond of being touched. He didn't like his space invaded too much. He wasn't really a hugger or a back patter. Sometimes he didn't even feel comfortable with a handshake. Sometimes she teased him for it, but not often. Tonight however, he wouldn't have minded if she had decided to sleep right on top of him. Just because they had shelter didn't mean that the building offered any warmth. The only warmth to be had was from her and even though he had an aversion to getting touched too much, he sure as hell wasn't stupid enough to turn down her body. Err...

Heat, he corrected himself. Body _heat_. That was all he was wanting from her.

"I can't believe how cold it is," she said as she collapsed onto the makeshift bed. He followed suit as soon as his boots were off and they both sank, some of the straw falling over them. She quickly took the other three blankets and pulled them up to her chin and he had to struggled to jerk enough away from her to cover his own body.

"It can't be fifteen degrees in here," he said through chattering teeth.

She moved closer, her own body trembling uncontrollably. After a few minutes she shifted again, just a little closer. He was too embarrassed to just grab her and pull her tighter against him, even though he craved the heat he knew she had to offer. She cleared her throat, almost nervously. "Daryl?" She whispered.

He turned his head. "What?"

"I know you're going to think that I'm just trying to get frisky or something, but can you scoot a little closer? I don't feel like I'm getting any warmer at all and maybe-"

That was really all the invitation he needed. He rolled until he was nearly on top of her, one of his legs moving so it was trapped between her own, one arm sliding under her and the other locking around her. "Fuck personal space for now. I'm fuckin' freezin," he whispered.

She rolled until she was facing him, taking advantage of the rare moment and shoving her arm under his jacket. He scowled when he noticed the cold seeping into his back from her hand.

It took a while but they both eventually started to thaw out. All they could really do was hope that the morning brought warmer weather and they wouldn't be stuck out there freezing all over again. He needed to find something for them to eat. They were on day two of no food and what he managed to scrounge up when he had caught anything were half starved squirrels and an occasional bird. He could feel how thin she had gotten under the layers of clothes that covered her frame and it had him scowling even harder.

He didn't think about it for long because exhaustion won out over worry. They were safe for the moment and they needed to catch up on as much rest as they possibly could while they had the ability to do it. Already her warm breath was blowing against his throat, slow and even.

At least there was that.

~H~

Daryl dreamed of food and when consciousness intruded on those dreams the world decided to be even more cruel and let the smell linger. He covered his head, rolling over, fully aware of where he was. He would sleep it off. They were safe for now and he was still warm even though he was alone.

This had him opening his eyes, blinking in the watery light that seeped in through the high set windows. He sat up, running a hand through his hair and grimacing as a painful cramp twisted his stomach. He could still smell the food that haunted his dreams and it caused his mouth to water and his stomach to twist again. He really had to go find them something to eat today. At this rate he'd settle for rats and dried leaves stirred up in a mud puddle.

He stood up and shoved his feet into his boots, frowning. Where the hell was she? She wasn't in the cavernous room they had slept it so he made his way to the small office, zipping his jacket against the cold that only seemed slightly more bearable than the night before. Before he stepped into the room he was nearly ran down.

Carol slammed into his chest, almost knocking him over in her haste. "I'm so sorry," she said, her wide eyes meeting his. He quickly dropped his hands from her waist and she stepped away from him. "I was just coming to wake you up." She grinned, grabbed his hand and yanked him through the door.

He stopped in his tracks, his eyes zeroing in on something on the counter against the back wall. "How the hell..." His voice trailed off as another pain hit his stomach. There was a steaming pot of something that smelled like edible fucking heaven.

"I found a propane hot plate in the cabinet. There's bags of soup. Canned goods. Enough to last us weeks, maybe more. Wild rice with chicken soup is in the pot. I wanted to wait until it was done before I woke you up. Actually your stomach rumbling is what sent me hunting. You always give me more than you take when you catch something. It isn't fair and it's wearing you down."

If he was dreaming he was going to be so fucking pissed off that he was going to put his fist through the wall. But he didn't think he was. She grabbed a Styrofoam cup and ladled some of the soup into it and then handed it to him. He took it and was so fucking grateful he could have kissed her just then. He blinked and forced his eyes away from her smiling face. "You did damn good. I'm starving," he muttered.

"No silverware but I didn't think you'd mind," she said, the smile turning indulgent and causing his face to heat up.

He planted his ass on the edge of the desk, managed to blow into the steaming cup twice and then started drinking, ignoring the burn. It was all he could do to keep from moaning. He didn't want to overdo it, since his stomach was so empty, but he finished the first cup without taking it from his lips once. She silently refilled the cup and they ate without saying another word.

There was plenty to say but he was hesitant to bring up the topic that he knew was on her mind. It had been on both of their minds.

As though she could read his thoughts she sat her cup down and pushed up onto the counter, her legs swinging back and forth for a second as she studied him. "I need to talk to you about something," she said hesitantly.

He nodded and looked down at the cup instead of at her. "I already know what you're gonna say."

"It's been too long. This weather-"

"I know," he said quickly, refusing to look at her. He had been thinking the same thing for days as the weather grew progressively colder. The two of them were more equipped for this kind of cold than one little girl and even they had came close to freezing to death. The girl had no skills to keep herself alive in this kind of cold, even if by some small miracle she had managed to escape the herd that had decimated the farm.

"I think it's time we head back to Atlanta. It's the last place your brother was seen alive so it's a good place to start," she said, her voice soft.

He looked up then, a little surprised at her words. "You wanna help me find Merle?" He asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

She frowned. "Of course I do. I'm all you have." She shrugged, her face flushing. "We're all each other have. For now I mean. Once you find him I can go back to Rick's group or something."

He looked up sharply, his brows pulling together as he met her eyes. He hadn't really thought about what she would do if he found Merle. He knew that he wouldn't be going back to the group. Merle would likely kill them all. After what Rick did to him, he wouldn't really blame him for it. But the truth was, after spending all that time with her on the farm and now spending the last month nearly attached at the hip, he realized with a slow sense of dread, that he didn't want her to go anywhere at all. He didn't want her leaving and rejoining Rick's group. He didn't want her anywhere but wherever the hell he was. This managed to scare the fuck out of him because getting attached to people was dangerous enough in the old world. Now, it was a sure fire way to cause yourself a lot of pain.

"Is that what you want?" He finally asked, not looking away from her steady gaze.

She slowly shook her head and he realized that he was probably in a whole lot more trouble than he thought. And he had no idea what to do about it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Merle woke up with a scowl already in place. He was too damn warm and it only took him a second to realize why. He wasn't alone in the bed. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and then sighed loudly. He'd never slept in a bed with a woman he hadn't gotten naked with. And he sure as hell hadn't gotten naked. As soon as he got handsy she had put a stop to all of it.

He sat up and glanced over at her. She was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. The top four buttons on her shirt were still undone which was as far as he had been able to get before she put on the breaks.

"You already look like you're in a bad mood," she said, trying to fight back a smile.

He glowered down at her as he shoved his arms through his shirt. "Yeah? Quit lookin' so goddamn smug, Maddy. You're a dick tease. I can't stand a fuckin' dick tease."

She sat up, leaning back on her arms. He knew that she wasn't doing it on purpose because that just wasn't how she was but the position basically pushed her tits towards his damn face and goddamn if she didn't have one incredible pair. "I am not. I kissed you. That wasn't an invitation to take off my clothes," she said with a frown.

"It is in my world," he grumbled darkly.

"Well, I feel bad for you then. Kissing is fun. You're pretty damn good at it," she said, swinging her legs around and standing up.

"Yeah, well, if I knew I was gonna have to go to sleep with blue balls, I woulda put a stop to it, trust me," he said, eying her.

She grinned. "I have to take a shower and get down to the school. Philip asked me if I could teach the art class." She stopped in front of him, her eyes imploring. "A week, right? A week and then the three of us are getting out of here?"

He nodded, knowing he was lying and not caring. Not really. He told himself that the nagging feeling in his chest wasn't guilt because he was Merle Dixon and he did whatever the fuck suited him. She would get over it. So what if he hadn't been able to stomach the thought of her leaving the night before. That didn't have anything to do with anything. He'd had a weak moment and that was all it was.

She grinned at him and the next thing he knew she was kissing him again, and he was letting her. Actually, he wasn't just letting her but he was, once again, kissing her back like the dumb ass that he was. Somehow he was also hauling her closer and he hadn't even realized it. She pulled away, grinned at him again and disappeared into the bathroom. He heard her turn the lock.

"Fuckin' asshole," he muttered, shaking his head and grabbing his jacket on his way out the door. He didn't bother telling her where he was going. So far she hadn't brought up the fact that he had killed a man just the night before and he sure as fuck wasn't planning on bringing it up. For all he knew he would have to kill someone again. Philip wanted to know if he had what it would take. He had it. It wasn't hard to justify killing a person.

When he stepped out onto the sidewalk he cursed as the frigid air stung his face and hands. He'd never felt temperatures so fucking low in all his years. Shoving his hands into his pockets he made the short trip to Philip's building. He didn't get far once he was inside. He was intercepted by a nervous looking man that was pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Mr. Dixon? I'm Milton. The Governor sent me here to meet you. He wanted me to bring you to him." Merle shook the man's offered hand and grunted. If the bastard wanted to meet him somewhere else then he should have fucking told him that himself instead of sending this pencil neck fuck to do it.

"Why ain't I seen you around before?" Merle asked as Milton led him back out into the cold.

"Oh, I'm usually inside, researching. I've had the pleasure of meeting your wife, though. She's a nice woman."

Merle scoffed. "You should try living with her."

Milton seemed to grow pale. "Oh no. I couldn't do that."

Merle gave him an odd look but didn't say anything else. He followed Milton into another building that sat on the outskirts of town. The long hallway was dim but at the end he could make out some light behind a door that had been left ajar.

He followed Milton through the door and stopped, glancing around the room. It gave him the impression of a mad scientists lab. It gave him the fucking creeps. When he noticed Philip Blake leaning over what looked like someone strapped to a bed in the center of the room, he couldn't keep quiet anymore. "What the fuck is this?" He asked, his voice low.

Philip stood up and turned, offering Merle a smile that Merle didn't even really register because now he had a clear view of the person strapped to the bed. It wasn't a person at all. Not anymore. It looked like an older lady, or had been. Now it was a walker, groaning and gnashing it's teeth together. Philip looked down into the face with something like affection. Merle swallowed hard. "How are you this morning, Merle?" He asked instead of answering the question.

Merle shrugged distractedly, his eyes still on the walker, "Been better. Maddy wouldn't put out and now my balls are sore. Why the fuck is that walker strapped to that bed like that?"

"Oh my goodness," Milton muttered, his face turning three shades of red.

Philip just chuckled, shaking his head. "This is Mrs. Pendleton. She passed away last night."

Merle's eyes scanned the room. "Was there a breach? Is there walkers inside the fuckin' walls?" He asked, a strange panic crawling up his spine at the thought of Madison leaving the room and running into one.

Philip shook his head. "No, no walkers."

"Then how in the hell did this woman get bit?" Merle barked, sick already of this game of twenty questions. He looked the walker over but there didn't seem to be a mark on her at all. Not even a scratch.

Milton stepped around to the other side of the bed, peering down on the woman. "She wasn't bit."

Philip moved so he was standing next to Merle. "We've discovered that you don't have to get bitten to turn. All you have to do is die."

Merle let his words sink in, his brows pulling together in a frown as the walker snapped it's jaws at Milton. "What the hell do you mean, all you have to do is die?"

Philip met his eyes. "When I told you that I needed you out there, it wasn't just because I didn't feel like being out there myself. We've been doing a lot of research in here. We've taken blood from many people and Milton's found the same thing in every sample. There's an abnormality. This is like a... virus and we're all infected. I have no doubt that we would find in your blood what we've found in everyone else."

Milton nodded in agreement. "Mrs. Pendleton has been sick since before the turn. We've been waiting for her to pass so we could do more research. I've been taking tissue and blood samples from her since before she passed. What I want to do here is understand what this is on a molecular level."

Philip sighed then. "We think if we can learn just a little bit more, figure out exactly what it is that has caused all of this, we may be able to come up with a cure."

"Or at least a vaccination," Milton added, meeting Philip's eyes from the other side of the bed.

Philip nodded distractedly. "Of course."

Merle remembered what Sophia had told him. Blake had his daughter stashed away here. She was a walker and he was using Milton to try to create some kind of cure. Of course, he didn't bring this up because as far as the others knew, Sophia was mute. But Merle knew what this was about. "Come up with any answers?" He asked instead.

Milton shook his head. "Mostly what I've managed to come up with so far have been more questions, but I'm hopeful. I believe, in time, once we get more equipment, that we can crack this. Right now there isn't any rhyme or reason to it. Even the period of time between death and reanimation have varied. Someone can turn in a matter of an hour while others can take up to ten."

Philip turned then so he was facing him. "Now do you understand why I need someone out there that I can trust? Someone that has the grit to get things done when I'm not able to be there? I wanted to show you this so you would know how important it is, how important you are, in all of this. We have a chance to make history here. We have a chance to change the world. It isn't every day a man can say that. Not on this scale."

Merle wasn't stupid. Philip Blake didn't give a goddamn about the world but that was what he wanted people to believe. He wanted to get his daughter back and that was it. But if he wanted his men to look up to him like he was some sort of fucking Messiah then that's what Merle would do, because no matter what he thought about the man, and no matter Philip's reasons, this _was_ a big deal. And it was something that would directly affect Merle. Maybe Milton could come up with a vaccine. The thought of turning into one of those things, the thought of his brother or Maddy turning into one of those things, made his stomach turn.

Philip must have been satisfied with whatever he saw in Merle's face because he smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. Merle forced himself not to punch the man in the gut for touching him at all. "I think in a few days I'll go on my last run with my men. After that, I want you to take over. Martinez can show you how things work. There's a hospital in the city that we haven't hit yet. We could really use some newer equipment so I'm going to lead that run myself."

Merle nodded. "Sounds like a plan." He couldn't help but wonder why the hell Blake didn't just want to bring him along.

Philip left Milton with the walker, leading Merle back out of the building and surprising him by motioning for Merle to follow him around to the back. When he did Philip opened the gate that led through the privacy fence into the back yard of the building. There was another building back here but not as large.

"What's this?" Merle asked.

Philip gestured to the window and Merle looked in, annoyed with the showmanship. He was ready to get the fuck away from this asshole. His annoyance was all but forgotten when a face appeared in front of him.

"Walkers?" Merle asked, stepping away. "You have walkers here?" He remembered Maddy mentioning it but he didn't know that it was on a scale this large.

Philip nodded. "They're secure, trust me. Even if they did manage to get out of the building, they couldn't make it over the fence. No worries."

Merle eyed him. "Course not."

They walked to the other side of town without saying a word. Most of the people were hunkered down inside since the weather was so rough. He didn't blame them. He'd rather be in his own room but apparently Blake wasn't finished showing him around. After he found out where the man was taking him, he didn't really mind anymore.

"We've been able to accumulate a decent amount of arms since all this first started. We could always use more but I'm not going to complain."

Merle looked around the room and whistled low. "I don't guess you should." There was an impressive arsenal here. He eyed the rifles.

"The man you took care of last night, he was planning on taking some guns for himself. He wanted to overthrow me and take over here. His only problem was, he was the only one of my men that had a problem. As soon as he mentioned it to his partner, I was notified."

Merle nodded, still assuming the role of a man too impressed with what was lying before him to put much stock in Philip's words. But he was paying close attention. He'd had the exact same idea. Get some guns and overthrow the son of a bitch, so he didn't want to look too interested in the fact that someone else had had the exact same plan. "Couldn't trust many people before the world went to hell, Governor. I can't say I'm too surprised that you can trust them even less now."

"Can I trust you, Merle? I know we didn't start off on the right foot but I'm hoping to remedy that."

Merle met his eyes then. "I've never given you a reason to trust me. Way I see it, trust is earned."

Blake smiled and clapped him on the shoulder for the second time that morning. "I think you were made for this job Merle Dixon."

Merle nodded, letting his eyes roam over the room one more time. "I think you're right."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

She threw a book at his head but he dodged it easily. She couldn't believe he had lied to her. He had stood in this very room and told her to give him one week and now he was saying that they weren't going anywhere. "You're a lying bastard," she snapped.

"Would you calm the hell down!" He snapped right back.

She glared at him. Never in her life had she ever met anyone that could make her as angry as Merle Dixon. "No! I won't just calm down. You self serving _asshole_! You said we could leave and now you're saying that we aren't going anywhere." She tried to storm past him and get to the door but he grabbed her arm and shoved her back, he kept coming, not giving her a chance to dodge him.

"Keep your goddamn voice down before you fuck this up and get both of us killed," he growled.

The furious look on his face should have sobered her but it only infuriated her further. She had been happy all day and then she comes home to find him waiting for her so he can tell her that they aren't going to leave. At the moment, she hated him. He had lied to her just to keep her from leaving and now he was going to try to bully her into listening to more lies. Well she was done. She shoved him as hard as she could but it barely moved him at all. She was still trapped between him and the wall. "I'm leaving. I'm gonna walk right out the front gate and then when he has one of his men shoot me in the back for leaving, maybe then you'll stop being an idiot," she sneered and shoved him again.

"And getting yourself shot in the back to prove a point to me isn't _you_ being an idiot?" He countered.

What she did next stunned her more than it did him. She slapped him right across the face so hard that it hurt her palm. She had never hit another person in her life. She had never wanted to. She regretted it as soon as it happened. His expression changed from annoyance to rage, his blue eyes carried no warmth and the set to his jaw almost had her cringing. She winced when he grabbed the hand that she'd slapped him with and slammed it into the wall above her head.

"I'm gonna let you in a little secret, Maddy," he growled. "I'm a firm goddamn believer in equal rights. You know what that means?"

She struggled to pull her hand away but his grip was like a vice.

"That means," he went on without a hitch, "I won't ever put my fuckin' hands on you just because I'm pissed off. That ain't how I do things. But if you ever feel like hittin' me again, you remember that it's only right that I treat a woman just like I would anybody else. I'll knock you right on your goddamn ass, girl. And I won't feel a damn bit bad about it."

"Let go of me, Merle," she said, struggling against his grip even harder.

He let go of her hand and then backed up a few steps, his eyes never leaving hers. "When I talked to Blake today him and some man had a walker strapped to a bed. Some woman. She hadn't been bit. She hadn't been scratched. There wasn't a mark on her but she'd turned anyway," he said quickly.

She rubbed her aching wrist. "You expect me to believe that?"

The look he gave her then had her looking away. "You expect me to give a fuck what you believe? I'm just passing on the info. What you make of it ain't none of my business. But I believe it. You ain't gotta get bit by a walker to become a walker. We're all walkers. All we gotta do is die and then we turn and they're tryin' to figure out what the fuck it is."

She blinked, "They're lying. They-"

"I already told you I saw it with my own fuckin' eyes!" He barked, causing her to flinch.

She felt some of the anger leave her but she wished it wouldn't because now, instead of angry, she simply felt defeated. "What does that have to do with us staying here?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a hand over his face. "Because they're trying to figure out what it is and then maybe they can come up with a vaccine, maybe even a cure. That's what Blake wants. He wants to bring that kid of his back so you know he's gonna work his ass off."

She didn't want to believe him but she did. Maybe she wouldn't have if deep down she hadn't already known what he had just learned. "I didn't want it to be true," she muttered, sitting down next to him.

He looked over at her, his brows pulled together. "What?"

She shook her head and forced the lump out of her throat before she spoke. She wasn't going to let herself cry in front of him. "One of my sisters got bit. She started running a fever. She was sick but we didn't know that she would turn. We didn't know anything about any of this. We only knew that head shots were the only way to stop them so I... I put her down when she turned."

He watched her, his expression unreadable.

"My younger sister seemed okay. I mean, she was real quiet for the first few days after that but who wouldn't be, you know? We were staying in a storage room in one of the buildings in Atlanta. I woke up one morning and she was gone."

"Gone? I thought you said your sisters were both dead?" He asked, his voice softer now.

She shook her head. "That's what I meant. I found her sitting against the wall. At first I thought she was asleep but then I saw the blood. She'd slit her wrists while I was sleeping. Bled out right there in the same room."

He looked away then, probably thinking of what he would do if he was in the same situation. Despite his callousness the night before, she knew he loved his little brother.

"Anyway, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't bury her. I just sat there. I don't even know how long I sat there. After a while I thought I saw her move. Then she raised her head and I thought that she hadn't died. I thought that maybe her pulse had just been so weak that I hadn't felt it. But then she came at me. I knew she hadn't been bitten. It was just me and her. But she turned."

He was silent for a long time as she studied her boots. When he did speak he didn't sound angry anymore. "You've gotta want to figure out what the hell this is."

She nodded. "I do." She looked up, pushing the memory of her sisters out of her mind. "But what's gonna be the cost? Who else are you going to kill for him? And how long will it take for you to realize that the job suits you?"

"You think I like killin'?" He asked, standing up suddenly.

She looked up and then shrugged. "I don't think you're apposed to it."

"I'm not," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "But you don't seem to put off by the fact. Some people matter," he shrugged, "Other people don't. It's all about perception. I killed a man last night. That man would have killed other men. Killin' wasn't shit to him so why should killin' him mean shit to me?"

She shook her head. "I want to leave."

He turned around and walked towards the window, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. "I ain't gonna do this anymore. If you wanna go then hit the road. But if there's a means to an end to this fuckin'... chaos, I wanna be here to see it."

"And your brother?" She asked, standing up.

He seemed to visibly flinch. "I'm still gonna try to find my brother."

"With Blake breathing down your neck?" She asked.

He shook his head and finally looked at her again. "That's the point. He wants to be here with Milton. He wants to supervise the research. Once he turns me loose, those men are under me. I'm the one that'll call the shots and I'm the one that'll have the freedom to go wherever the hell I want. I can use this to find him and actually have a goddamn place to bring him to where we ain't gotta fuckin' run all the time. If his puny little ass ain't done froze to death."

She wanted to scream at him that he was wrong but she couldn't. He was right. She hated that he was right. She fell back, staring up at the ceiling angrily, not even sure anymore what she was angry at. Herself, mostly, for acting the way she had acted earlier. "I'm sorry for slapping you. I've never done that before."

She looked over sharply when the bed dipped. He had flopped down gracelessly on his back. He shrugged and folded his arms under his head. "You hit like a fuckin' girl anyway."

She rolled her eyes. Jesus, why the hell was she attracted to this man? Why did she care about him when it seemed like most of the time he didn't care about anyone but himself? She couldn't answer those questions. She'd stopped asking herself those questions weeks ago. "Next time I'll be sure to put more muscle behind it."

"And I'll be sure not to break your nose. I done warned you woman. You hit me again and I'm hittin' your ass back."

"Equal rights? Right. I forgot about that," she muttered, trying to fight a small smile and failing. She stared back up at the ceiling and was surprised when he laughed. She looked at him again. "What's so funny?"

He sighed, shaking his head. "You."

She raised up on her elbows. "What about me?"

He glanced at her and then looked back up. "You're fuckin' crazy."

She snorted. "I am far from crazy. Or I was, until I met you. You've driven me insane."

"Then why do you stick around? If it's that bad you know where the door is," he said, still grinning.

She scowled. "See! That right there. That drives me insane."

His eyes widened innocently. "What? I just told you that the door is right over there. If I'm that bad you could tell everybody we're separated now and you're wantin' your own place. You ain't trapped here anymore. Nobody is stupid enough to try anything with you. You'd be safe out there."

"You want me to move out?" She asked, her brows shooting up. She knew that they fought a lot but that was just the way it was with some people. It didn't mean that she didn't like him. Or that she wanted to leave. She definitely didn't want to do that.

He shook his head but didn't say anything for a while. He probably had to force the head shake. She sure as hell didn't expect him to profess his undying love for her or anything. "Nah, I can't say I do. Even if you are fuckin' crazy, I still wanna fuck you."

She flushed and let her back fall back down onto the mattress. "You're impossible, Merle Dixon. I honestly don't know why I even bother talking to you."

He snorted. "Cause deep down, you wanna fuck me too."

She reached up, grabbing a pillow and then slamming him right in the face with it. She managed to scurry off the bed before he caught her. "I have to go get Sophia. You wanna come?"

He raised a brow at her and sat up.

"Jesus, you're horrible," she said as she shoved her arms into her coat. "I'll be back."

He just nodded and watched her leave the room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"We aren't leaving?" Sophia asked, her voice small. "I thought you both said that-" Her voice trailed off, her eyes filling with tears.

Merle scowled. He didn't handle tears well. He couldn't stand a fucking cry baby. "You're not stupid. You feel how goddamn cold it is out there? You wanna go out there and freeze your skinny fuckin' ass off before we even find ourselves a car? Use your goddamn brain. We'd die out there."

"Merle!" Maddy hissed, glaring. "She's a little girl. Stop treating her like crap."

Merle rolled his eyes. "She ain't got the option to be a stupid kid anymore. You forget the world ended? You stop treating her like a goddamn pussy. She's gotta nut up here, woman. Sittin' around boohooing because she can't do what she wants is just a waste of energy."

"He's right," Sophia said quietly, swiping her tears away and looking down at her plate. "I'll never find my mom if I can't even handle not getting my way. But we are still gonna try, right? Once we have a chance?"

"Yes," Maddy said quickly, giving him a look like she was daring him to say otherwise.

Merle groaned, not seeing the sense in lying to the girl anymore but also knowing that Maddy would throw an annoying ass fit if he didn't. "Yeah. As soon we're able, we'll go lookin'." For his brother maybe, but he knew this kids mom wasn't going to be alive.

Sophia nodded, seeming satisfied with that and finished eating in silence. "I guess I need to go back to Tara's now," She said once she was finished eating. "He hasn't taken me back to see Penny for a while so I think maybe he's changed his mind." She looked up, meeting Merle's eyes. "But I still don't like the way he looks at me."

Merle felt a chill run up his spine but he kept his face expressionless. "Maybe I'll talk to him again about you stayin' here. Tell him Maddy is tryin' to work with you to get you to talk or somethin'. Can't be too easy keepin' that big mouth of yours shut all the time."

The tried to hide a smile, ducking her head and standing up to grab her coat. "Sometimes I can't help but wonder how Maddy puts up with you, Merle," she muttered.

Maddy laughed but all Merle could do was roll his eyes. "Nobody likes a smart ass, girl."

Sophia nodded solemnly. "I know. That's why I try so hard to put up with you. It can't be easy not having any friends."

He scowled and watched as they hurried out into the cold.

~H~

Maddy walked close to the little girl, her arm lightly around her shoulders. "Sophia?" She hedged, unsure how to say what she needed to say.

Sophia, looked up at her, her eyes imploring, knowing she couldn't say anything.

Maddy cursed herself for not bringing this up back in the room but she didn't want Merle to throw his two insensitive cents into the conversation. She knelt down, glancing around to make sure no one was watching them. The streets were deserted because of the cold. "I wanted to talk to you about something without Merle's commentary, okay?"

Sophia nodded, her large eyes troubled.

Maddy smiled slightly, her hands squeezing Sophia's shoulders gently. "We will look for your mom. I promise you that, okay?"

Sophia nodded again.

Maddy cleared her throat. "We both know what it's like out there. It's a cold world and I'm not just talking about the weather."

Sophia's eyes slid down, staring at her boots.

"I want you to know that if something's happened out there. If we don't find her, and you have to know that's a possibility, you won't be alone. No matter what, you have me, okay?"

Sophia looked back up, her eyes shining, and then threw her arms around Maddy's neck, hugging her tightly. Maddy returned the hug. "Do you really think we'll be able to find her?" Sophia whispered.

Maddy pulled back and tightened her grip on her shoulders. "I think she's still out there and I think we're gonna find her."

Sophia didn't say a word but the question was clear on her face.

"I have a good feeling about your mama, okay."

Sophia smiled slightly and then Maddy stood up, walking her towards Tara's. They picked up their pace as the cold started cutting through their coats. Maddy didn't think she had made a mistake telling Sophia she thought her mom was out there because she believed it was true. Somehow the woman was still alive, despite what Merle had said. It was that unfailing intuition of hers.

She left Sophia with Tara and hurried back out into the cold. As she rounded the corner she nearly ran right into someones back. She apologized quickly and then took an involuntary step back when she looked up and saw who was there.

"Maddy," Philip nodded and then smiled.

"Hello," she said, trying hard to force a pleasant tone. It wasn't working out for her very well.

Philip sighed, his eyes brightening as he grinned. "I have a feeling you don't like me very much, Maddy. And for the life of me I can't figure out why that is. I've taken you and Merle in. Hell, I even took Merle under my wing. What exactly is it that I've done wrong here?"

She swallowed hard, her heart suddenly beating a little faster in her chest. "You haven't done anything," she said, her eyes scanning the deserted street. "I'm just not much of a talker."

Philip shook his head and the smile dropped from his face. "If there's one thing I have a problem with around here, it's people looking me right in the eye and lying. You have a problem with me. I asked what it was. Now the least you can do is give me an honest answer."

Her fear morphed into anger so quickly that it took her by surprise and her eyes narrowed. "That isn't gonna work with me, Governor. Don't try to intimidate me. If you want to know why I dislike you, your answer is, I dislike a phony as much as you do a liar. You put on airs for the people in this town, meanwhile I can see right through that mask. You don't care. I don't know what your agenda is but you should know that I'm not one of them. I'm not blind to who or what you really are. And if you think for one second you can intimidate me, you remember exactly what Merle Dixon is capable of."

For a split second he looked completely shocked but he hid it quickly under another one of those infuriating smiles. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were no longer friendly though. "Are you really going to look down your nose at the type of man I am when you're sharing a bed with a stone cold killer?"

She returned the smile. "The difference is, Merle doesn't pretend to be anything other than a self serving murderer. You do. Now if you'll excuse me," she tried to step past him but he gripped her arm and shoved her hard into the bricks, stepping closer so he was pressed right against her.

"There's something you need to remember here, Madison. Men like Merle can always be bought. No matter what he says to you, no matter how he acts towards you, I have more to offer him than you ever will. He's a man hell bent on self preservation and I guarantee you, you do not stand a chance. You need to either learn your place in this town, or," He pressed her further into the bricks and felt her gorge rise when she felt his erection pressing against her thigh, "I'd be more than happy to show you your place."

She refused to look away, even though it was safe to say that she was scared to death at this point. He tightened his grip until she finally winced and then he stepped away from her, dropping his hold and turning without a backwards glance. She stayed right where she was for a few more minutes, willing her heart to slow down before she walked to her room.

She wasn't going to say a word to Merle about what just happened. This was something she was going to have to deal with on her own. She didn't believe the man. Even though Merle had given her little reason, she believed he cared a lot more than he let on. He had to, or he would have let her walk out. When she stepped into the room and shed her coat he was watching her from where he was sitting with a book on the couch.

"The kid okay?" He asked.

She smiled and nodded, not trusting her voice. She felt like she needed to take a shower. Even though he hadn't touched her skin she felt like she was covered in his filth. Like he was still pressing himself against her.

Merle's brows pulled together and he stood up, tossing the book onto the table. "You sure?" He pressed.

She nodded again. "I'm sure. She's fine."

Those ice blue eyes narrowed on her. "And you?"

"I'm fine, Merle," she said, keeping that smile in place. "I'm gonna go wash up. I'm tired, that's all," she said quickly and slipped into the bathroom. Before she could lock the door he was barging in, slamming it behind him.

"What happened out there? You _were_ fine. I'll give you that, but you ain't now. If it ain't the girl, and I got a hunch that it ain't, then what the hell happened to you?"

"I told you, I'm tired. That's it. Get out of here," she snapped.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door. There was no escape and his knowing gaze was making her feel claustrophobic. "Somebody give you a rough way to go out there?" He asked, his voice darkening just slightly.

She glared at him, Philips words echoing strangely through her mind, a small seed of doubt taking root and blossoming quickly. Suddenly she wasn't sure about him. She wasn't sure about anything at all. Would he throw her to the wolves to have what Philip had? If the man came to Merle and told him that he could have it all but he had to drop her, would he do it? "Get out," she said, her own cold voice surprising her.

He didn't make a move to leave the room. In fact he took a step closer. "You're gonna tell me what the fuck happened out there," he growled, grabbing her by the arm in the exact spot Philip had grabbed her.

She hissed in pain and jerked out of his grip and that was when he saw it. The hand print encircling her bicep. He dropped his hand and stepped away and she tried to cover the mark with her own hand.

"Who did that?" He asked, his voice shaking strangely.

When she looked up there was such a cold look in his eyes that she wanted to flee. She swallowed hard and shook her head. If she told him, what would he do?

He surprised her when he gripped her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. "Who?"

"Philip. I saw him down there and I acted like an idiot. He got mad and grabbed me."

"What else did he do?" He asked from between clenched teeth.

She had never seen him like this. She'd seen him angry. She had seen him last night after killing a man, but she had never seen such rage in those eyes before. She shook her head.

He didn't let go of her jaw. As a matter of fact his grip tightened. It didn't hurt but she felt like it was a warning for her to tell him the truth. "What else did he do?" He asked again.

"He said that... He said that he had more to offer you than I did and that I needed to learn my place or he would..." Her voice trailed off.

Merle dropped his hand and took a step away from her. Before she knew what was happening he was throwing open the door and grabbing his jacket. She followed him, gripping his arm and then scurrying around to get between him and the door. She planted her hands on his chest and then shoved his jacket down his shoulders.

"You can't go out there half cocked. You'll get yourself killed," she hissed, trying to push him further away from the door.

He shook his head and tried to step around her. She had to stop him or he was going to die tonight and it was going to be all her fault. Nothing she said was going to get through to him. She knew him well enough to know that. He was running on a dangerous emotional high and it was going to ruin everything if he went out that door.

Her mouth slammed into his, kissing him hard as she stepped into him, her hands flat against his chest as she pushed him backwards. She hoped she had pegged him right. She hoped that she could offer him something that would take his mind off the rage he was feeling towards the other man. If she could turn that anger into something else, anything else, to save his life then it was worth it.

For a few seconds he was unresponsive but he let her push the vest off his shoulders. He even took a few steps back towards the bed. Once he gave in, he was all in. There wouldn't be a repeat of the night before. "You tryin' to distract me?" He asked, pulling away slightly. His eyes were still burning but it wasn't with anger anymore.

She nodded, crossed her arms in front of her and then whipped her shirt over her head. It was true that she wanted to distract him but it wasn't the whole truth. She wanted this. She didn't know why. She didn't know when it had happened but she needed to be with him.

"If you're thinkin' I'm gonna play the gallant guy and tell you that you ain't gotta do this to keep me from bashing that mother fucker's skull in, you're mistaken," he said as his hand went to his belt and his eyes slid down to her chest.

"Trust me. I know you better than that," she breathed, shoving him hard towards the bed.


	16. Chapter 16

**This chapter gave me** ** _hell._** **Seriously, I have been working on it forever and I'm not satisfied with the results but it's something. It's smutty, just in case that isn't your thing to read then you can kinda skim this.**

 **Anyway, thanks, as always, for reading! You guys are awesome. I wrote a reply to a guest review when I posted this but then I decided that it was pretty mean so I deleted it. lol It was a little bit too mean, even for me. I'm gonna go ahead and go back to ignoring any Caryl hating guests trolls. *sigh***

 **Chapter Sixteen**

She wasn't fucking around this time. She must have really wanted his ass to stay in the room because she was pulling out all the stops. He'd half expected her to stop but she didn't. As soon as his ass hit the bed she was crawling right on top of him shoving his own shirt up until he finally had to unlock the hold he had on her to pull it off.

He was still pissed off. He was beyond pissed off, but if there was one thing that could distract him from that anger, it was this. She was smart enough to know it, too. If he was any other man he may have felt a little guilty for letting this happen, since she was only doing it to keep him from killing Philip Blake. But he wasn't going to stop her from doing a damn thing. If she wanted to distract him from Blake then she had free reign to do whatever the hell she wanted to do to distract him. He was guilt free.

Just the thought of the mans name had him getting angry all over again but then he felt her teeth sink into the side of his neck and that was another distraction. The thing was, he was pretty damn confused about the whole thing. He knew what Blake had meant about her learning her place. The man had basically threatened to fuck her against her will and the thought of someone else having their hands on her, whether she wanted them to or not, had his blood boiling. The fact that this meant he was in way over his head only added fuel to that fire.

He didn't want to care. But goddamn, he cared a lot. For some fucked up reason, even though he couldn't stand her half the time, he cared about her more than he had anybody else in his life that he didn't share blood with. In his head, that's how it had been for a while now and he didn't understand it. He didn't want it. He wanted to toss her to the side like he had all the other women he'd ever had anything to do with but he couldn't. She was Maddy, and she was his. And he _hated_ it. But it didn't matter how he felt about it because it was just the way it was. Blake had threatened her and now it didn't matter what he was doing anymore. Merle didn't care if the man could eventually save the whole goddamn world. He was going to die for that threat.

He rolled, pinning her under him and was surprised when her legs wrapped around his waist. When her dark eyes met his there was a fire there he'd never seen in them before and then she was pulling his face back down. He was trying to kick off his boots and undo her bra at the same time and it wasn't working out for him. Finally he cursed and yanked hard, tearing it down the middle.

She tore her mouth away from his then. "Damn it, Merle! That was my favo-" Her voice choked off as his head slid down, his teeth working over the tender flesh of her breast and causing her to gasp.

"Shut up, Maddy," he muttered, his head moving lower.

"Go to hell, Merle," she breathed, urging him further with one hand. Her other hand was already busy undoing the button of her jeans.

He'd waited long enough for this and he wasn't about to wait any fucking more. He sat up so he was on his knees, swatted her hands away and yanked the button nearly off before jerking them down her legs. He almost cursed himself for not taking a little more time to enjoy the package because her underwear were made of the same blue lacy material as the bra he'd just destroyed. Then again, it wasn't about the wrapping. He was a man that could give a damn less about the bow on top.

Nah. He was more the type to go right for the box, so to speak. To hell with the pretty wrapping. So he quickly rid her of the fancy looking panties and dove right in. Her breath tore from her throat and she came up on her elbows just as his eyes shot up, meeting hers. He tasted her fully with one long sweep of his tongue.

This wasn't something he dared do to a lot of women he'd been with. There was good reason to avoid it. But when it came to this woman in particular, well, his mouth had been watering for this for weeks now.

~H~

She had told herself over and over that she wasn't going to let this happen. She hadn't been with a man in a very long time and the last thing their odd relationship needed was to become physical. She had started it, however, had wanted it, so she was all in.

Especially now that he was proving to be as good as his bloated ego told her he would be. He had a filthy mouth all the time and the things he was doing to her with it had her pulling the pillow over her face, biting into it so hard she was sure she was tearing the material. When she was balanced right there on the edge he changed tactics, sucking gently as he eased one finger into her.

The pleasure was shocking and her body bowed, her back arching off the bed as her shoulders and hips pressed heavily into the mattress. His name tore from her throat as she tore the pillow away from her face. She'd had no doubts about his ability to please a woman but she'd never had anything like this done to her before. He was playing her body like it was an instrument and God, could he play her.

When the world finally righted itself again and her back fell to the bed she pushed his head away and tried to catch her breath. He had other things in mind though. He moved up, hooking one of her legs with his arm on his way and then pushed into her without warning.

She gasped, her nails digging into the muscles in his back as her body adjusted to the size of him. He cursed into her throat and then he started moving. Her mind was having trouble focusing on anything besides the feel of him. It was all so unexpected that she hadn't really had time to think about what was about to happen, before it was actually happening. He pushed her leg up higher and moved into her even deeper than before, causing her to cry out. A low chuckle sounded in her ear and through the pleasure she felt a stab of anger. He was so full of himself.

She surprised him when she brought her hands between them and started shoving at his chest. Merle Dixon needed to be taken down a peg or two, no matter how good he was making her feel. He raised up, bracing himself with one arm. She shoved him harder and then, thinking she wanted him to stop he almost pulled away, his eyes betraying his confusion. Instead of letting him go she followed him, rolling until he was under her now.

He grabbed her hips hard, his eyes widening as he glanced down between there bodies, and then he grinned. He grinned until she started moving over him anyway. That cocky grin turned into a look of surprise. She leaned over, kissing him hard enough to almost bruise her lips. He grunted and then she sat back up and picked up her pace. He cursed again and then his eyes seemed to go out of focus. She grinned in triumph. His hands moved up, obviously heading towards her breasts but she grabbed them, shoving them away and then leaning down again, her hand going around his throat.

"This is my show, Merle. Keep your fucking hands to yourself until I tell you otherwise."

His mouth dropped open at that but then he moved his hands until he was gripping the slats in the headboard. "What the fuck's gotten into you?" He breathed.

She shrugged one shoulder, her hands braced on his chest and her nails digging into him until he winced. "You."

He chuckled darkly, the sound vibrating through her and causing her to moan. She bit her bottom lip hard to stifle the sound but she was already close. She almost didn't want to give him the satisfaction but she wasn't going to stop.

"Stop looking so smug, Merle," she gasped, "I'm the one doing all the work here."

He shook his head, his eyes narrowing and then moved quickly, banding his arm around her and pulling her down hard, and then it was him moving into her hard and fast. Her teeth sank into his chest, partly from the intense pleasure and partly because she'd told him to keep his damn hands to himself. Another orgasm rocked through her and she heard him hiss in pain but he never faltered.

He slowed once she was able to take in another breath and she sat back up quickly. His jaw was clenched hard and his eyes met hers. He gripped the slats again and once more let her take over the situation. His muscles grew more tense and she knew that he wasn't going to last much longer. She was also well aware that they hadn't had a condom and she wasn't on the pill and even though she was pretty sure she grudgingly loved the awful beast of a man, she wasn't stupid enough to let herself get knocked up with his baby. His lips parted and he let out a heavy breath, his eyes sliding down between them. That was warning enough.

She moved quickly until she was straddling his thighs and before he could do anything she gripped him hard with one hand as her other cupped him almost roughly. His eyes rolled back and he grabbed a pillow, shoving it over his face just like she had done, his release causing his hips to jerk spasmodically. He didn't take the pillow off his face until she started cleaning him up.

"That's my shirt!" He said, leaning up on his elbows, a grimace in place.

She shrugged and tossed it through the open bathroom door. Slipping her own shirt over her head she moved, collapsing onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling, her breathing leveling out and her pulse slowing to a normal rhythm as he grabbed his pants and slipped them back on.

"Nice distraction. Where the hell you learn to ride a man like that? Jesus," he muttered as his head hit the pillow next to hers.

"Bible camp," she said with a grin.

His head came back up and she glanced at him. He raised his eyebrows. "You're shittin' me."

She shook her head and laughed. "I'm really not."

"You?"

She nodded. "My parents made me go up until I was seventeen. They thought that it would be good for me. I was a camp counselor that year."

He snorted and folded his arms behind his head. "Should have took my ass to bible camp," he mused and then he yawned.

She rolled her eyes. "Are you gonna be that guy?"

"What guy?" He asked, moving so he could situate the blanket over himself.

"The one that rolls over and goes to sleep right after he gets laid?" She asked with a grin.

He looked at her, a frown forming between his eyes. "Do I look like a cuddler to you? I need my rest damn it. I have a lot of shit to think about."

"Like?"

He shrugged. "Like how I'm gonna go about cleanin' up the trash around here. I'll be the first to admit that you got skills, girl. But I ain't forgot what the fuck you were tryin' to distract me from in the first place."

She sighed, trying to fight back the fear that was trying to settle in her chest. "Be careful." There was no reason to argue with him about it. He was stubborn. She would just have to be satisfied that he wasn't leaving tonight to do something stupid without thinking it through first. That's what he was going to do earlier.

He nodded and then moved his arm so it was under her head, urging her to get closer.

"Not a cuddler, huh?" She smiled, rolling into him.

"Fuck off, I'm cold is all."

"You're adorable."

He grunted and shook his head, ending the conversation.


	17. Chapter 17

**This is another Caryl chapter. I thought I would leave a warning for those of you that would rather avoid it. None of it is extremely important until the last paragraph. If you don't read anything else you should read that. Anyway, much thanks to those of you reading. It's appreciated!**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

It was all easy. So incredibly, frustratingly fucking easy. She didn't whine. She didn't bitch. She didn't talk to much and she wasn't needy. And she'd been that way since the moment they walked away from that other group. She didn't feel the need to tarnish the quiet with idle chatter. When she spoke, she did so because something needed to be said or a question needed to be answered.

He'd been watching her for days as they waited out the cold inside the building where they had taken shelter and she became a bigger and bigger mystery to him. Maybe because they were stuck with each other twenty four hours a day he had expected her to start getting on his nerves. He wasn't used to having someone around all the time. Other than Merle anyway. But she didn't get on his nerves. He actually found himself secretly wanting to know more about her. Who the hell she was, because she wasn't really the same woman he had gotten to know on the farm. But he kept his mouth shut. He wasn't going to pry into her life, even though listening to something other than the sound of silence and the occasional gust of wind would have actually been welcomed.

He had a pretty good idea where they were so they worked on drawing out a map of the rout they would take to Atlanta. They agreed that finding a vehicle was their only choice. If not they could risk freezing to death all over again before even reaching the city.

"We'll find him," she smiled as she leaned in, looking over his shoulder at the crude plans he'd drawn up.

He felt a sting of regret. Hadn't he told her the same thing about her daughter? A lot of good giving her false hope had done. But he nodded, feeling like he really would find Merle but also worrying about what would happen once he did. Neither one of them had mentioned going back to the spot Glenn and T-dog had decided to meet up. Time was running out for that to pan out anyway. He had to choose between continuing a search for Merle and meeting up with the group they had abandoned. "We can head out in the morning," he said, tapping the pencil on the desk.

She nodded and moved away from him, like she'd realized she'd still been leaning too close. "That sounds good. At least the temperatures have been bearable. I think I'll heat up some water and wash up as best I can since who knows when we'll get a chance again."

He nodded and stood up. "Smells like a good idea," he deadpanned, catching her eye.

She looked stunned for a few long seconds and then she smiled, a real one that actually lit up her eyes. "Did you just crack a joke? At my expense?"

He shrugged. "I do what I can. Don't have much material around here." With that he left her staring after him. He didn't know why he was trying to get a laugh out of her. He guessed it was probably because he was curious to see if she had it in her to laugh at all. After finally admitting that looking for Sophia was a lost cause, he had worried that she would start to slip into her misery like she had those first few days on the farm. He hadn't been much help then, lashing out at her and basically treating her like shit.

He wasn't going to do that now. As of right now, she was all he had in the world and he wouldn't let her drown in her misery. And he was sure she was still hurting, even if she did a good job of hiding it. Maybe if he hadn't been so fucking sure that he'd find her daughter she could have mourned before now. But he'd hung on to hope and he'd tried to force her to do the same.

He settled down on the makeshift bed, hands behind his head and staring up into the darkness, thinking he would fall asleep quickly, but he was wrong. He didn't know why he wasn't falling asleep because he was sleepy enough but his body refused to relax for some reason. Like he was waiting for something.

A little while later he finally realized that it wasn't that he was waiting for _something_ at all. He was apparently waiting for _someone_ because he instantly felt his body relax when she came back. This thought had him scowling in the dark as she settled in next to him. Her teeth were chattering and her body quaked with the chills that ran through her.

"Jesus! I don't think being semi clean is even worth it," she muttered, pulling the blanket up to her chin and wiggling herself further into his side.

He tried to dredge up a little animosity towards her for violating his space. And he failed. "Didn't do you much good anyhow. You didn't have any soap and you still smell," he grumbled.

She laughed. "It didn't do you any good either but you gave it a shot."

He snorted, thinking the conversation was over but it wasn't.

"It's actually a little strange. I like the way you smell, even when you're filthy. It's all... rugged and wild. One day without a proper bath and Ed smelled like a sweaty jock strap. You just smell like a... man."

His eyebrows shot up and his face blazed and for some reason his heart started knocking a little harder in his chest. It was kind of fucked up, how close they were, but then again it had to be expected. But he hadn't expected it. On the road for so long, just the two of them trying to survive, had forged a strong bond between them and her words left a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. "That suppose to be a compliment? I smell better than your husband?" He asked, trying to sound light but for some reason his voice came out lower than he had meant it to.

"If my mission was to compliment you I could have used a lot better material than mentioning how I enjoy your stink," she said, trying, and failing as miserably as he had, to keep her tone playful.

He wasn't used to compliments of any kind but he could count on her to say shit that would cause him to be completely conflicted. On one hand, he liked hearing about his good qualities. On the other, it made him squirm. He'd find himself contradicting her in his mind. If she mentioned that he was a good man, he would conjure up every shitty thing he had ever done. If she hinted that he was worth a hell of a lot more than he thought, he would conjure up plenty of times that his own damn kin made sure he knew that he was nothing but trash.

He hated it. He hated feeling like that about himself but life taught him that you needed to keep your guard up. Especially when you found yourself wanting more. Don't trust a pretty face and don't listen to kind words because it only meant that you had something someone wanted.

It was all smoke in mirrors and he felt himself relax, finding some sort of masochistic comfort in his self deprecation.

Then again, what the hell could she want? He didn't have anything. Before, she had wanted him to find her daughter but now, now he had nothing. So why did she still try to make him feel this way?

"You don't like hearing it, do you?" She asked after a few silent moments. "That' there's so much more I could bring up about you that's good."

He swallowed hard, unsure what to say about that so he just shrugged, knowing that she could feel it. His jaw clenched tightly when she rolled over, facing him and then he flinched away as her hand came up, cupping his jaw. She didn't pull away like he expected her to and he grew very still under her touch. Her hand was warm and soft and he goddamn _hated_ it. In that moment he hated all of it. The sound of her voice, the way he had started craving her warmth, the way the sound of her laughter and the sight of her smile did things to his head that he couldn't explain. He hated every second of it.

He fucking hated her. Hated her for forcing him to care, just by being her. Asking nothing of him and getting plenty of it in return.

Finally, she went to pull her hand away and he found himself grabbing her wrist. She made a startled sound and he froze, not knowing what the hell he had been thinking grabbing her like that but knowing that he wasn't ready for her to pull away. It was terrifying but at the same time it was somehow strangely exhilarating. He didn't know why, but in that moment he realized that she wanted him. He could almost smell it. She wasn't being kind out of pity or out of thanks for looking for her kid. The revelation startled him.

Despite the chill in the air there was a hot tension that crackled between them now. Like that charge that sets the atmosphere abuzz just before a heavy storm. She was tense. He was too, and he didn't know what to do with her hand. They stayed that way for so long that the awkwardness became almost unbearable and he was quickly losing his nerve, and loosening his grip. But he didn't want to lose this moment because there may not be another one. But he was powerless to do anything more. Too many years of rejection had him faltering, remembering the sting of it and knowing that coming from her, it would leave a lasting mark. He let go of her hand.

He expected her to pull her hand away, and she did, like he knew she would. She was just as scarred up as he was. He knew what she'd been through with Ed. He cursed himself for his cowardice... until he felt her move.

As she sat up the blanket pulled away and he frowned at the chill that hit him. He sat up too, intending on grabbing for the blanket but instead his forehead slammed against something solid. He winced and then panicked when she cried out in pain. He'd slammed his hard ass head right into hers and he knew it hurt her a whole hell of a lot more than it did him.

He cursed, reaching out instinctively, his hand going to the side of her neck. "Fuck," he whispered, not even sure why he was whispering. "Are you alright?"

To his surprise she laughed softly. "Has anyone ever told you that you're extremely hard headed?" She groaned and he felt her hand come up, rubbing her forehead before she moved it and pushed his hair back out of his face.

"Yeah, a time or two I think," he said, reaching up to make sure that she wasn't bleeding. His other hand was still cupping her neck and under his palm he felt her pulse jump suddenly as his fingers brushed over her forehead. "I think you'll live," he said, his voice husky, his fingertips lingering on her face.

He knew it was coming before it happened. It was pitch black but he could feel it, her face moving closer to his hesitantly and then her lips pressed firmly against his own. It was jolting, even though it wasn't much by most people's standards. It didn't last long either. It was like she realized what she had done and she was afraid of his reaction and she pulled away sharply.

"I'm so sorry. I-"

Nope. He wasn't going to listen because he didn't want her to be sorry. He wasn't sorry. Although the touch was a jolt to his system, it felt right. Very right. And she wasn't going to ruin it for him by apologizing and telling him that she hadn't meant to. So he cut off her weak apology, his mouth crashing into hers clumsily, but with zeal.

For all of two seconds she froze up, her whole body tensing and then her lips softened, parted, inviting him in. He had spent too much time alone. Too much time feeling like he didn't deserve anything good. Too much time second guessing himself. She had kissed him and she had kissed him because she wanted to kiss him and he wasn't going to waste this. He'd wasted enough. The world was cold and lonely and it was hard and he wanted this. Needed something to ground him and let him know that there was still a lot to fight for and, God, he was willing to fight. For this. For her.

Besides, it was bound to happen. It had just been the two of them for a while now and regardless of hang ups, she was a woman and he was a man and they shared a bed. Or what passed as a bed for them. What he wasn't expecting was for her to shove him back down and crawl right on top of him. That was unexpected but not unwelcome. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been with a woman. And he'd never been with a woman like her. A woman that he needed to be careful with.

Well, one that he thought he had needed to be careful with. She wasn't acting as nervous as he had expected her to. She seemed to be doing just fine with how quickly things were progressing and he was the one that was having a hard time keeping up. Somehow she had managed to get his shirt open without him realizing, until her mouth left his and was now blazing a hot trail down the center of his chest. And all he was able to do was lie there like an idiot that didn't know what he was doing. And maybe he didn't. Maybe he was in way over his head here. That was what he was thinking until he felt her teeth bite down lightly on his stomach.

He sucked in a sharp breath and gripped her arms, hauling her back up until her mouth was back on his. He sat up, gripping the hem of her shirt but she was already one step ahead of him, crossing her arms in front of her and whipping it over her head. He stopped over thinking it then and did exactly what he wanted to do. It was oddly liberating. She wasn't wearing a bra and suddenly, he felt like a starving man. His mouth watered and then was on her, eliciting a small cry from her that shot straight to his groin. She held his head between her hands, holding him in place, her nails digging almost painfully against his scalp and her hips moved over him.

Both of their hands shot between them at the same time, both going for the others button and then he heard her laugh nervously before she moved hers away and let him work her pants down her hips. She had to scramble off of him to kick them the rest of the way off and by the time she came back he was already trying to wrestle his own down his hips. No sense in being shy now. He didn't get them down very far before she was right back on his lap, her hand going between them and her lips seeking his out in the dark. When she wrapped her hand around him he groaned and she made a satisfied sound in the back of her throat. Like maybe she liked what she'd found. Now it was his time to chuckle quietly against her mouth.

She pulled back and came up on her knees. She pushed the open shirt off his shoulders and his arms went around her as she sank down onto him slowly, her body yielding to his. She rolled her hips over him but he had to grab her by the waist, stilling her as his forehead dropped to her shoulder. He was experiencing sensory overload and if she moved another inch he wasn't sure he would be able to hold on. He knew it would be god but he was a little surprised at actually how good she felt.

Finally he moved his head and her lips found his again. The sound she made was desperate and he knew he was going to have to do something so he moved into her, praying he wouldn't lose it. He'd never be able to look her in the eye again if he came after twenty fucking seconds. But that didn't happen. They both started moving, out of sync, bumbling like a couple of fucking high school virgins until finally, with a frustrated growl he locked an arm around her waist and rolled. Even though his pants were technically still on, he could still get better traction. It wasn't enough for her though because she used her feet to push them down until he was kicking them away.

This made things easier and after a few more seconds, they found a rhythm that had him nearly moaning out loud. He could still feel that pull, dangerously close. She tore her mouth away from his, panting desperately and then he felt her muscles tighten around him. He felt the slow wet heat wrap him up as she trembled deep inside and then his name tore out of her mouth.

He was done for. Knowing that she was getting off. She seemed as shocked as he was, since it had kind of started out with the two of them clumsily trying to get it together. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he drove into her deeper. A string of curses left his lips as his body shuddered over hers. Her legs tightened, holding him closer, draining him so completely he felt like he could pass out from the sheer pleasure rocking through him.

He moved once he was finally able, his forehead dropping to the center of her chest. Her hands were in his hair, knowing that he'd rather her avoid touching his back at all. He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that before he finally pushed himself up and away, dropping down onto his back and staring up into the darkness overhead.

She was moving, probably feeling around for her clothes and then he was smacked in the face with something. It was his shirt and he suddenly realized that he was naked and freezing, the sweat he'd worked up making him even colder. He dressed quickly and then scrambled under the blanket. He felt like his muscles were made of jell-o, his bones of pudding. He had never felt so goddamn relaxed in his life. Probably because he'd never came that goddamn hard in his life. There seemed to be less tension, even in his mind. He let out a breath and shook his head slowly, closing his eyes against the darkness.

She laid down next to him and, unlike him, he could feel the stress radiating from her. He opened his eyes and frowned. After a few silent moments she cleared her throat. "Daryl?" She whispered.

"Hmm?" He hummed, turning his head towards her.

"Please tell me that tomorrow, we're still going to be us. I mean, I don't want you turning-"

"Carol?" he interrupted.

"Yeah?" She couldn't hide the tension in her voice.

"Shut up," he chuckled, not even knowing why.

She blew out a heavy breath and he could feel her relaxing against him. He rolled over so he was facing her and she turned her back to him, scooting herself so she was fitted into the curve of his body. "Goodnight."

He figured that it would be okay to put an arm around her so he did just that. She gripped his hand with both of hers, pulling him tighter. This was okay. He could do this. Soon they would be back on the road so he should enjoy this while he could.

As he drifted off he idly worried that maybe she would be the one that would act different once the sun came up. Neither of them could have known that awkward tension was the last thing they needed to worry about. Something else would come at dawn. Something a lot uglier than morning after jitters.


	18. Chapter 18

**(Slow Blinks) Good morning! I was going to post this yesterday but I had to do stuff, out there, in the dreaded public... It was horrible but necessary. Anyway, here's some Merle being Merle. Hope you enjoy this chapter and hope everyone had a good weekend! Thanks for reading =)**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

When Merle woke up it was still dark outside and Maddy was still wrapped around him like a vine. Little by little he disentangled their bodies, making sure to grow still if she started to wake up. After a little while she must have gotten annoyed in her sleep because she mumbled something, grazed his shoulder with her lips and flipped onto her stomach. Her arms slid up under the pillow and even though their bodies were still close, it was easier for him to ease away now.

He slowly slid out of bed and got dressed as silently as he could. The room wasn't very warm and when he'd moved the blanket had slid down, exposing her back to the chill in the room. He studied the line of her spine, admiring the impressive swell of her ass, even though it was covered. Without thinking he pulled the blanket up to her shoulders so she wouldn't get cold.

He scowled to himself as he shoved his feet into his boots. Like he gave a damn whether or not she was fucking cold.

He double checked to make sure his knife was secure at his hip and then he glanced at her one more time before he eased the door open and slipped out. God, he hoped she didn't wake up. He didn't want to have to lie to her again...

What?

Like he gave two fucks whether he had to lie to this woman! What in the fuck was wrong with him? She'd damn near killed him last night, grabbing him by the throat like that and... Nah, fuck that. That had been goddamn hot. Who would have thought she had that in her? He sure as hell hadn't.

Anyway, it wasn't so bad to admit that he didn't want to lie to her. At least he was only admitting it to himself. He didn't like fighting with her either. He was always saying the wrong things but that was just who he was. She'd get used to it or she would get fed up and leave him. Either way...

Leave him?

He shook his head and silently slipped out the door of their building, keeping to the shadows easily because the moon was obscured. He didn't care if she left. It wasn't like they were fucking _together_. Now that he was out of the room he did snort, shaking his head even harder as he slipped into the darkness between two buildings. There were a couple of guys walking his way but he was sure that they hadn't spotted him. They were looking at each other, deep in conversation.

Blake and his men would be leaving soon for their last run before Merle took over. All Merle had to do was lay low and hope they would leave before the sun came up, which was when Philip said they usually headed out. When he did he wouldn't have a whole lot of time to do what he had decided to do. He was still seething over what the man had done to Maddy the night before and he couldn't very well call himself a man if he just went and let something like that slide.

The man was going to wish like hell he had kept his mouth shut and his fucking hands to himself. But Blake hadn't and Merle had a feeling that she hadn't told him everything. There had been more to it. She wouldn't have been as upset as she had been. If he found out that Blake had tried something more... Well, the pain he was going to be feeling when he came back this evening was nothing compared to what he'd feel if Merle got wind that he'd hurt her more than he already had.

He spit on the ground and waited in the shadows until he heard voices of more men towards the gate. Blake's laughter had him clenching his jaws together, the sound grating on his nerves. He wasn't stupid. He knew that just because Blake was leaving, it didn't mean that the town would be unguarded. There would still be men making rounds and he needed to act fast. He would have no time to fuck around.

He waited and eventually the men headed out of the gates, into the darkness beyond, and all was quiet in Woodbury once more. He moved stealthily from between the buildings, easily staying in the shadows, military training that he thought had been long forgotten, slipping to the forefront of his mind, making it easier to be silent, unseen.

He saw a few men but they didn't see him, and if they did he would simply make up an excuse to be out and then go back home to Maddy. But no one called him out and he was able to sneak into the back of Blake's building easily. The door to his rooms was locked but Merle had been skilled at breaking and entering for most of his life and the lock wasn't anything he hadn't picked before. Blake was the type of man that considered himself untouchable anyway.

He retrieved a pen light from his pocket and shone it over the room. Sophia had only ever mentioned that Penny was kept in the wall in a strange room that scared the hell out of her. He went to that door but, again, it was locked. This one was a little more tricky but after five minutes, five minutes he didn't really feel like he had to waste, he finally had the door open.

He whistled low as he took in the room. The tanks gave him the fucking creeps. The chair, angled in front of them, was a stark indication that Blake was dealing with a short deck. This mother fucker sat in this room, looking at the severed heads of walkers, sipping his goddamn glass cognac like he was watching the ten o'clock news. Merle shook his head and shone the light around the room.

There was a small door fitted into the wall that reminded him of a cage. He just about jumped out of his goddamn skin when a small body threw itself against the other side of the cage, snarling and snapping. He wrinkled his nose at the smell of her putrid breath as he knelt in front of what used to be a little girl. He couldn't even gauge what age she may have been. The eyes were milky, the rot emanating from her was familiar to Merle. He'd killed plenty of walkers.

He didn't know what the hell that psycho son of a bitch was thinking. Maybe someday Blake and Milton would figure it all out. Maybe there really was a chance. But not for this kid. This kid was already rotten. What did the man think? That he'd shoot her up with some magic serum and then she'd be normal again? She was walking death. No hope for this kid. And soon, no hope for her daddy either.

Once he got the door open it was pretty easy to keep the little shit from taking a chunk out of him. She may have been a monster, but she was a little monster and he didn't feel a damn thing when he slammed his blade into the side of her head. She fell limply to the floor, the sound of the chain making a strange hollow echo through the now silent room. It was a lonely sound. He'd just done this kid a favor. He thought about taking her head and putting it in one of the tanks but he decided against it. He needed to learn some self control. Now would be a good start. Besides, it wasn't the kid's fault that Blake was a piece of shit psycho. She'd already lost the possibility of dying with any kind of dignity and he wasn't going to make it worse. Her daddy had done enough to her.

He wiped the blackened blood onto the back of the girls shirt and stood up. He locked the door to the room where the dead girl now lay and then he went to the cabinet, searching for a bottle and then grinning when he spotted it. He poured himself a drink, downed it and then left the room. The glass and the open bottle on the counter. Locking the door just like he'd found it.

The sun wasn't up but the predawn sky made it harder getting back to his room without being spotted. He managed, but barely, almost walking right into that damn Milton in the alleyway but managing to dart behind a dumpster before the guy looked up. As he passed Merle could here him mumbling to himself about cell counts or some shit.

Merle was banking on the fact that Penny was a secret that Blake kept between himself and his most loyal men. He wouldn't suspect Merle because the man had no idea that Merle knew anything about Penny. This would cause a lot of turmoil within the town. Blake would no longer trust his men and maybe that would mean Merle would end up with even more leeway than he thought he was going to get. Blake had no idea that the mute kid from down the street spilled everything about the little walker he kept in the wall so Merle wouldn't be at the top of his suspect list. And if he ended up there, he would have time to already be prepared.

He was happy to see that Maddy hadn't moved at all since he had left. He stripped and slid into bed, rolling over and pulling her to him. She hissed and tried to struggle away and he realized his mistake. In his haste to get his hands on her he had forgotten that he'd been out there in the cold and she'd sure as hell have some questions about where he had been.

"Why are you freezing?" She asked, raising her head and squinting at him with a frown on her face.

"Went to see the boss off. Had to ask him somethin'," he lied swiftly.

She rolled over onto her back and leaned up on her elbows. "Did you do anything? Did you say something to him about last night?"

He shook his head and took it upon himself to shove her back down, sliding over her easily. "I didn't say a word out of the way to the man. Didn't lay a finger on him," he said in a low voice right before his teeth sank into the side of her neck.

Her nails bit into the muscles of his back, pulling him closer. He took this as invitation enough so he pushed into her quickly. Yeah, he could really get used to this. She was about the best piece he'd ever had. Just enough grit to make her interesting and fit him like a fucking glove. All thoughts of what he had been up to left his mind as he lost himself inside her.

~H~

Maddy stepped out of the bathroom, toweling her hair dry. Merle was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the table and a book in his face. He glanced up at her and then looked away quickly when she leveled him with a glare. Of all the stupid, idiotic irresponsible things he could have done!

"You gonna be pissed for the rest of the day?" He asked without looking up.

She stopped, in front of him and gaped. "You can't be serious right now!"

He nodded. "You'll get over it."

She spun the towel and then snapped him in the hand with it. The crack gave her a short lived feeling of satisfaction and so did his surprised yelp. "I will not get over it and you will not touch me again. _Ever_!"

He rubbed his hand and rolled his eyes. "Jesus, you're so goddamn dramatic. I forgot. Simple mistake. Sue me."

She growled and tossed the towel towards the bathroom, not caring that it landed on the floor next to the door. He could pick it up if he didn't like looking at the mess. "Oh I'll do more than sue you."

He sighed like this was nothing to worry. "I told you, I forgot."

"You don't just forget something like that!" She cried in frustration. "You need to be responsible, Merle. If you got me-"

"I didn't. It was one time."

"One out of the two times we've had sex! That is not something to be proud of!"

"I didn't say I was proud. All I said was that I forgot. Next time-"

"Oh there won't be a next time."

He laughed at that. "I've never felt a woman get off as hard as you did this mornin', which by the way, is what distracted me from the oh so affective pull and pray method in the first place. You'll want it again as soon as you get over it, which you always get over shit. It's what you do."

She felt her face flame at his words because it was true. This morning he'd managed to hit spots that had never been touched before. He was good in bed, sure, but she couldn't risk getting pregnant. Not in this world. Not even in the last one. She wasn't really mother material. The only child she had ever really been around at all was Sophia and she wasn't your average everyday kid. She was smart and mature for her age. "You're impossible." That was about all she had as far as comebacks went. "I'm taking Sophia and getting some lunch."

He scowled. "What about me?"

"Starve," she grumbled, grabbing her jacket and heading towards the door. She heard his dark chuckle and then she slammed door behind her.


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm getting right to work on the next chapter so you shouldn't have to wait long for an update! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

Merle winked at the dark haired woman that smiled at him as he crossed the street. He wasn't interested in her but it wouldn't hurt to keep on friendly terms with the ladies of Woodbury just in case Maddy tried to cut off his nuts in his sleep. He wouldn't be able to stay with a woman that would wound his jewels, no matter how much he cared about her. Which he did. A lot. It was fucking stupid to deny it to himself.

He went into the small cafe like set up where he knew he'd find the girls. Sure enough they were sitting silently at a corner table, eating what smelled like chili. His stomach rumbled. He'd worked up one hell of an appetite after coming back from Blake's this morning. He smiled smugly to himself.

Sophia looked up and her eyes brightened and she grinned. She was still careful. She didn't speak to anyone and she didn't speak to him or Maddy in public but she grinned like a possum eating shit and waved like seeing him made her whole damn day. He snorted at her, but he knew that she saw that he was fighting the return smile. The little fucker with her big innocent eyes and shit. He sat down across from her and eyed her bowl.

Maddy regarded him with narrowed eyes and then returned her attention back to her chili. She wasn't eating it. Just dipping the spoon in and out of it and staring off glumly.

Merle grunted when he felt a sharp pain in his shin. He glared at the girl across from him. "Cut it out you little fucker," he hissed as he leaned down to rub his newly injured leg.

Sophia rolled her eyes and then looked pointedly at Maddy, who didn't even acknowledge the fact that Merle had called the little girl a fucker. According to her, and she'd know because she was a goddamn know it all, calling a little girl names like fucker could cause some kind of psychological damage or some such shit. But she didn't throw an elbow into his ribs and she didn't give him The Look. He hated that damn look.

He glanced at Sophia, maybe hoping for some sort of help, but all she did was shrug, like maybe Maddy had been like this since before he had showed up. He felt a twinge of something in his gut and frowned. Was she really worried about him knocking her up? Goddamn, it had only been one damn time. The chances of that happening after just once were pretty damn slim. If not, he'd have kids all over Georgia for fucks sake. He elbowed her lightly in the arm.

"You gonna eat that?" He asked, eying her chili now.

Sophia made an exasperated sound in the back of her throat and he caught her rolling her eyes at him, like she had plenty to say.

Maddy shook her head and slid the bowl over to him without a word. He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully, ignoring the loaded look that Sophia was trying to give him. Was he really going to have to apologize? Jesus Christ! This was the very reason he liked to fuck loose women and be on his way. He hadn't ever had to deal with so much goddamn senseless bullshit in all his fucking life. Even Daryl wasn't this fucking moody and that little mother fucker was down right dour most of the time. But he couldn't go on living with her for the next few days while she acted like a grade A bitch so he nudged her.

"So, you two got any grand plans for the afternoon?" He asked casually, deciding to work his way up to an apology.

Maddy shook her head and drew random patterns into the table with her fingernail.

He ate a little more and then tried again, this time trying to think of something that a man might say to cheer a woman up. "Your ass looks good in those jeans," he offered.

Sophia groaned and dramatically let her forehead drop to the table.

Maddy turned her head slowly, looking at him like he had lost his mind. So, apparently, compliments were out. He wracked his brain for something else.

"Er... that cold front seemed to have passed." God, that was a dumb thing to say because it looked like a cold front was moving into his life at the moment.

Maddy shook her head and finally met his eyes. "Stop it. Nothing you say is going to work so go away."

He frowned. It would be so easy to look her in the eye and then tell her that she was a fucking needy bitch that could take a fucking hike. But instead, for whatever reason, he put on his most innocent face. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? It was stupid. I was stupid. It was one mistake and, trust me, I won't ever make it again. Can you cut me some fucking slack here? Jesus!"

"Sorry?" She asked, raising a brow.

He nodded solemnly. Sorry as all get out for causing her to act like an ass.

She turned her whole body then, facing him. "I saw you walking from across the street."

Uh oh.

She smiled thinly. "So, you're so sorry that you decide to come out so you can check out not one, not two but _four_ women before stepping foot inside the door? And the brunette you were winking at nearly caused you to trip over the curb, you idiot."

Did every man have it this hard? Is that what caused them to have that haunted look in their eyes? Because somewhere was a raging woman ready to make them feel like shit for every damn move they made? "I was not," he lied. "I was just bein' friendly."

She snorted and stood up, reaching for Sophia's hand. "Come on Sophia. Merle's right. We should enjoy this weather while we can."

Merle stood up too, grabbing her hand and hoping that the few other people in the tiny space hadn't overheard any of that. "Would you just wait a damn minute!"

Maddy pulled her hand out of his grip and shook her head. She didn't even look mad anymore. She looked like her goddamn feelings were hurt. They walked out then, but at least Sophia gave him a sympathetic look over her shoulder.

" _Talk to her!_ " He mouthed the words and Sophia nodded, letting him know that she was able to read his lips. Maybe the kid could get through to her.

He sat back down and finished the chili in relative peace. It wasn't all that great but it was something at least. When he was finished he stepped back out into the early afternoon sunshine stretching and rolling his shoulders. The soft creek of the leather vest was slightly comforting in a way and reminded him of easier times. When he didn't have to deal with women. Or one woman in particular. God, what the hell was wrong with him? He'd never have put up with this kind of shit a year ago. He hadn't done anything wrong. So what if he'd admired a couple of bitches while he was looking for her. The point was, he was looking for _her_. But did she appreciate that at all? Hell no she didn't. He hadn't tried to get with any of the women around here because the only fucking woman he wanted, he already had.

He stopped on the sidewalk and froze when he looked up and saw her and Sophia standing there across the street. Merle was sure that Martinez had went with Blake but he must have stayed behind. And now he was chatting up Maddy right out there on the goddamn sidewalk. And she was grinning! She had just got done giving him a damn ear full just for looking at other women and there she was goddamn grinning at that taco vending cock sucker.

He stepped out into the street and Sophia looked up at him, eyes widening. She hadn't looked too happy to be standing there in the first place but now she looked a little scared too.

"Hey there, Dixon!" Martinez grinned once the man followed Sophia's gaze. "I was just looking for you."

"Don't look like you're doin' much lookin' to me," Merle said, his voice cool.

"Oh, I was doin' plenty of looking, Merle."

Merle felt a muscle in his jaw twitch at that but he kept his mouth shut. He didn't need to break this asshole's face. Not yet anyway. "The fuck you lookin' for me for anyway?"

Martinez looked back over at Maddy. "I'll see you later, Maddy. I have to show your husband here around. Boss's orders."

Maddy smiled and nodded, gave Merle a dirty look and turned, pulling Sophia along with her.

"What's this about?" Merle asked.

Martinez let the friendly smile fall and he eyed him. "You need to know exactly what you're getting yourself into here, Dixon. It's my job to show you. Follow me."

Merle grumbled under his breath but followed the man anyway. Martinez seemed to be leading him to the outskirts of town, where the guns, the lab and the walkers were kept. Sure enough when he stopped, it was in front of the building that housed the walkers.

"For starters," Martinez said, eying Merle and then looking back at the locked door, "Not all of these walkers were found. Some were made."

Merle frowned. "Made? What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"You know about Milton. His experiments and his great destiny to find a cure for this shit. Well, it isn't like people around here are dropping like flies and sometimes it's better if he has... fresher material to work with. He doesn't ask any questions but he has to know that The Governor is offing outsiders. But it's for the greater good so no one can say much, right? Blake, he lets on like the people he brings on are criminals. Murderers. Monsters."

Merle didn't miss the note of disgust in the man's voice, even though he kept his features schooled. Martinez didn't much like this set up and Merle knew it. But he wasn't going to say anything because he had a cushy position here. "So he picks up people out there and then he offs them?"

Martinez nodded, studying Merle carefully but he wouldn't find anything.

Merle didn't give a fuck what the man did to people he didn't know. He did wonder how the hell him and Maddy were still alive though. Especially since he was banged up and good for nothing when he got to Woodbury in the first place. "Then why the hell are me and Maddy still here?"

Martinez shrugged. "He must have seen something he liked. Maybe it had more to do with your wife than you," he grinned.

Merle was definitely killing this asshole first chance he got once he was finished with Blake. But at least he was being useful. By the time the little backyard tour was over Merle knew a whole lot more about how Blake's mind worked and how the town worked. How he so easily kept the people in the dark around here. It was all politics, just like in the old world. People here worshiped the very man that had a knife to all of their throats. Martinez kept him in the building that housed what Merle referred to as Milton's lab. For what seemed like hours Martinez went over fucking paperwork. Hand written ledgers filled with inventory on every damn thing that came into the place.

The more he learned about the way things were strategically ran the more concerned he got. But that was okay. Hands of power silently traded often. In that world, and soon, in this one.

~H~

Maddy was still furious and wasn't even sure why anymore. She always seemed furious now days. Probably because Merle was infuriating. Absolutely infuriating. And she wasn't ready to go back to the room yet just in case he was there because even though she couldn't stand him, she still gave a damn and she hated it.

She was talking to the dark haired woman that she had seen Merle winking at. Her name was Karen and even though she was nice, Maddy couldn't help but feel a little animosity towards her, which was completely uncharacteristic. She decided then that Merle Dixon turned her into a toxic person. She wondered idly if a shitty personality was sexually transmitted.

They were walking towards the building that housed Maddy and Merle's room. Karen lived in one of the other rooms in the same building but Maddy usually had her hands full with Sophia and Merle and working at the school so she didn't do a lot of socializing. And since they wouldn't be staying here forever, she felt no need to form bonds with these people.

"So, how long have you and Merle been married?" Karen asked as they rounded the corner.

Maddy wracked her brain but couldn't remember ever confirming how long they had decided to tell people that her and Merle had been together. She plucked a number off the top of her head. "Three years."

Karen nodded thoughtfully. "He's quite a character."

"He's a no good scoundrel and I don't know why I keep bothering with him," Maddy said curtly as she looked towards the gates that were slowly opening. She watched as a convoy rolled through, the townspeople smiling and waving. She glanced around as more and more came out to see the spectacle that Philip Blake made of himself as he stood up in the back of a pick up and waved at them like some fucking King come back to court. In that moment, if she'd had a gun, she would risked taking a shot right at his smug face.

"They must have ran into some bad types," Karen mused. "That's what the van is for."

Maddy squinted and sure enough, between the truck that Blake was standing in the back of like a transgender prom queen, and a jeep wrangler was a white nondescript van. "Bad types?" Maddy asked.

Karen nodded, smiling and waving as Blake rode past. Maddy tried unsuccessfully to not roll her eyes. "Come on, you'll see," she said as she grabbed Maddy by the arm and hauled her down the street, following the vehicles.

Blake jumped down from the back of the truck and to Maddy's horror, started strolling right towards them. He smiled that infuriating smile, his eyes right on her. She raised her chin, refusing to be intimidated by this asshole. If not for her, Merle would have gutted him alive last night, he owed her one, even if he didn't know it.

"Karen, Madison. How are you today?" He asked, glancing between them.

Karen looked impressed and blushed like an idiot. Maddy shrugged lightly. "Bored and ready for a nap. I guess I'm not as easily excited as the rest of them." She turned to walk away but he grabbed her arm. She yanked it out of his grip roughly, facing him fully. She would not submit to this son of a bitch, regardless of his threats.

His eyes widened and he glanced around to see who was watching before he raised his hands. "I can remedy that for you. I need your help," he said, loud enough for the others to hear him. "I get the impression that you don't quite realize what kind of danger is out there. I need you to see for yourself the different kind of monsters that I'm trying to protect this town from." He watched her expectantly.

Maddy knew that she could walk away. There wasn't anything he could do. Not with everyone watching and Merle somewhere out here. He wouldn't touch her. But she was curious. She actually wanted to know what kind of people that _this_ man could deem dangerous. So she reluctantly nodded and followed after Blake. The truck and the van had already turned the corner but the jeep had stopped and the men inside were hopping out, grinning at each other. She didn't like the looks of their smiles at all but she moved on, hoping Merle was close.

They walked to the outskirts of town, close to the walls, to a steel building not far from where the guns were kept. She was hoping that she would see Merle but he was nowhere in site. He must have still been off with Martinez.

The van stopped next to the door and Philip waited for the two men in the van to come around to stand in front of him before he gave them a nod. She hugged the light jacket further around herself as the men pulled two people from the van. It was obvious that it was a man and a woman just by their clothes and shape but over their heads were black sacks, tightened at the throat by rope. It didn't look tight enough to strangle them but the thought of being in their position was terrifying. She wondered what on earth they could have done.

The man was around Merle's height and she swallowed at the site of the leather vest because it reminded her of Merle and picturing him in this position, no matter how mad she was at him, caused her to feel sick. The woman shook visibly and had several bruises on her arms and what she could see of her chest but the man, even though his hands were bound behind his back, tried desperately to pull away from his captors.

"Found these two holing up in another town. They'd killed several people, some were only children," Blake said, his eyes taking on a haunted look. "This world breeds monsters, Madison. And you need to know what happens to monsters like this. Then maybe you'll change your mind about me and about Woodbury."

Maddy followed him into the building, noting that the bound man's knuckles were dripping blood. He had put up a hell of a fight. She glanced over her shoulder as one of the men pulled a crossbow and a rifle out of the van and walked towards the building housing the guns.

Intuition. That unfailing gift she had been cursed with told her that this was another lie. Maddy had to do whatever she could to get the man and woman out of here. They weren't who Blake said they were.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

Maddy waited while Philip ordered the men to tie the couple to two wooden chairs in the room. The man still fought and this earned him a painful blow to the back of the head by one of the men trying to tie him down. Maddy flinched but Philip just clucked his tongue and shook his head, like this was a necessary evil.

When they were finally tied down the two men left the room. She realized then the mistake she had made. Now she was basically alone in a dimly lit room with this man and Merle had no idea where she was. She swallowed hard, expecting the worst, but Blake simply stood there.

"Take off their hoods so we can get a look at them," Blake said without even looking at her.

Maddy felt bile rise to the back of her throat. "What?"

He turned his head, eying her coldly, wordlessly nodding towards the couple with a jerk of his head, like she was one of his loyal followers. She knew she had to tread lightly with him. She told herself to pick her battles. Be careful. Do what he wanted her to do for now and later she would try to figure out a way to get them out of here. She had no doubts about these two. They weren't bad.

Her hands were shaking but all she could do was hope that he didn't notice. She went to the woman first because the woman seemed more afraid than the man. When she removed the black sack from the woman's face a set of sharp blue eyes, wide and frightened, came up to meet hers. The woman was gagged, which explained their silence.

Maddy stared into those eyes for what seemed like an eternity, trying to convey to the woman that everything would be okay. That she would do what she could to help her and the man escape and, to her surprise, she saw the woman nod, just barely. Then she quickly turned her head to look at the man. It was only then that those blue eyes filled with tears.

Maddy moved over to the man, not hesitating because now she wanted the woman to see that the man with her was okay. As soon as he was free to see where he was he turned his head, checking over the woman and through the panic and the anger that clouded his eyes, she could see the relief their upon seeing the woman unharmed. Then he looked up at Maddy with the coldest most dangerous stare she had ever seen before. She took a step away from him. That unfailing intuition of hers told her then that whoever caused any harm to the woman he was with, this man would easily turn into the monster Blake claimed he already was.

She understood. He perceived her as an enemy. After all, she was standing there with Philip, taking orders from him like she was one of his own. He didn't hold her gaze like the woman had. There was no measure of understanding in his eyes like the woman had shown. But when the man looked at the woman again the woman seemed to be conveying the message Maddy had silently hoped would break through the woman's fear. His blue eyes snapped up to hers then and Maddy hoped he understood. It was hard to tell with him. He was more closed off than the woman. Harder to read. For a second the look in his eyes reminded her of Merle.

She took a step back and saw Blake watching her. "What are we going to do with them?" She asked, using the plural because she wanted him to feel like she was with him on this. That he could trust her. Because Jesus, she needed him to trust her if there was any hope of getting them out of this mess.

He seemed pleased but he still had a suspicious look about him. She didn't blame him either. She had been less than cooperative up until now and if she jumped at the chance to get into his good graces now, he would see through the deceit. He was crazy but he wasn't stupid. Many brilliant minds were tainted with madness. He finally tore his gaze away from her to stare at the two captives. "Tonight, you'll see how we handle these types. The man, he'll be forced to fight. The woman, well, we'll probably kill her quickly. We aren't barbarians."

"Fight?" Maddy asked, not hiding her disgust. "What do you mean, fight?"

Blake regarded her levelly. "Well, regardless of what he's done, it's only right to give him a fair chance. First he'll fight one of our men and then... then he'll fight some biters."

Maddy felt the blood drain from her face. "Who? Which one of our men would do something like that?"

Blake laughed. "Well, for one, that husband of yours."

"Merle!" She nearly yelled. "He's a lot of things but my husband wouldn't..." Her voice trailed off and Blake smiled knowingly.

"Face it, Madison. This is something that Merle Dixon would jump at a chance to be involved in. To take a few punches at a child killer. Hell, he would do it even if this man was innocent of any crime. You know it as well as I do."

Maddy was staring at Blake but she noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that both of the captives had grown very still. They had to be terrified. Finally she nodded slightly. "Okay, but what about the woman?"

Blake shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure just yet. The woman is more useful," he almost crooned and then he ran his fingers almost lovingly over the woman's jaw. The woman made a sound and tried to jerk her head away but Blake only followed her movements. The man started fighting against his bonds again but to no avail. "Maybe she's even innocent. Maybe she was only with this man because he could offer her protection." He shrugged, still staring at the woman. "Can't blame him, really, for taking what he could get from her in return. Clean her up a bit and we got ourselves a real beauty. A classic beauty. You don't see that in many women now days."

The woman tried to jerk away one last time and then finally she gave up and closed her eyes, like closing her eyes would make him stop touching her face. Still the man in the chair next to her fought, but all he was doing was hurting himself. His wrists were bleeding now, the rope cutting deeply.

Maddy felt like she was going to be sick. "I want to go. I..."

Blake nodded. "Yeah. I need to find Merle anyway. Make sure Martinez did a thorough job of showing him around." He walked with her out of the building and locked the door with a heavy padlock before turning to her.

She schooled her face. "I don't agree with what you're doing here," she said firmly, glancing past him at the locked door. "But men like that can't be left unchecked."

He gave her a wide smile. "Well, we may not be on the same page, Madison, but I'm glad to hear that we're at least in the same book. You'll understand eventually that I do things because I have to, for the greater good of this community."

She shook her head. "I don't believe that for a second. But I do believe that something has to be done about people like him," she gestured towards the door. "Did he really kill children?"

Blake nodded solemnly. "We found the bodies. I know you don't trust me but you can ask the men that were with me. It was a blood bath."

She shook her head in disgust that she didn't even have to force. She was disgusted all right. Disgusted that this son of a bitch would stand there with sympathy in his eyes while making up a story about dead children. It was disgusting. Especially since he had a daughter of his own. One that he loved enough that he would try to keep her locked up in the hopes he could save her. It made her sick.

~H~

Merle had checked the room and the school and all the other places that he could think of to check and still he couldn't find a sign of Maddy. He felt a strange feeling and realized that it was panic. He wasn't prone to panicking either. Surely she wasn't so mad that she left. She wouldn't have done that. He had checked and her bag was still there and no one had seen her leave.

"Your wife went with the Governor."

He stopped on the sidewalk, turning slowly at the sound of a woman's voice. "What?" he asked, panic now crawling up his throat like stomach acid, burning. It was the dark haired woman from earlier.

"I was talking to her when the others got back and the Governor wanted her to come with him."

"When?" Merle growled, towering over the woman now, his blood turning cold.

The woman shrugged and took a step away from him. "Maybe half an hour. I'm not sure."

Merle ran a hand over his face and realized with a start that he'd broken out in a cold sweat. Why in the hell would that idiot girl go anywhere with that son of a bitch? Did Blake know about his daughter yet? Was that why he took Maddy? Had Merle been too damn confident and now Maddy was the one that was going to pay the price for his fucking arrogance? Surely not. Blake would come after him. He'd be out of his mind and he wouldn't even think to go for Maddy.

He turned around, ready to head to Blake's apartment and nearly ran Maddy right over in his haste. He gripped her shoulders, his heart thumping hard and fast as his eyes ran over her, searching for any sign that Blake had touched her. He didn't loosen his grip on her until he was sure she wasn't hurt. And then she surprised him when she threw herself at him, her arms going around his neck and holding on tightly.

He was too relieved to give a damn that everyone on the street could see them in this super fucking mushy situation. There for a second he'd been sure that she was dead or worse so if she wanted to hang on to him like some love struck teenage girl then fuck him, he'd let her. But then he remembered how pissed off she'd been earlier so he reluctantly peeled her off of him. Her eyes were wet and his rage spiked.

Something _had_ happened.

"Let's go home," he muttered, glancing around and sighing in relief that no one seemed to be paying any attention to them. No one but the dark haired woman a few feet away, watching them closely.

She gripped his hand hard and led him to their room. Once the door was shut she threw her arms around his neck again, he noticed then that she was shaking slightly. Now that they didn't have a goddamn audience he went ahead and wrapped his arms around her, grudgingly enjoying the feeling.

"What the fuck did he do?" he finally asked, unable to conceal the worry or the anger simmering in his voice, even though he had spoken low.

She pulled back, keeping her hands on his shoulders and then met his eyes. "He's taking people. People that haven't done anything wrong and he's killing them."

He'd already found that out earlier but he wasn't sure how she would know that. "How did you figure that out?"

Her dark eyes widened and she pulled away a little more. "You knew?" Her voice was accusing and disappointed all at the same time.

He nodded. "Martinez filled me in earlier. They take people, falsely accuse them of crimes until the townspeople are up in arms, then they off them."

She nodded. "They came back with a couple. Blake made me go with him and I saw them. They aren't bad and he's going to do something awful. He's going to tell everyone that they've killed children! The man at least. I don't want to imagine what he's going to do with the woman. The way he was touching her. I think..."

"Wait, they brought people back from their run today?"

She nodded. "We have to get them out, Merle. He wants you to fight the man in some arena or something. He wants you to kill him and if you don't, he's going to turn the walkers loose on him."

Merle shook his head. As soon as Blake found that little girl, his plans would probably be put on hold. He'd go on a fucking rampage trying to find out who the hell had done it. Merle was still feeling like he was in the clear for now since Philip didn't have a clue that Merle knew about the walker girl he had hidden. "I don't think anything will happen tonight. You know exactly where they're being held?"

She nodded. "Yes. I tried to make it look like I agreed with him. I tried to play it cool but I don't know if I was convincing. He seemed to buy it."

Merle raised an eyebrow at her. "You didn't lay it on too thick, did you? The man ain't an idiot."

She shook her head. "No. I knew he wouldn't believe it if I was all of a sudden on his side."

Merle nodded. "Good girl."

"Merle, that could have been us! We have to do something. We have to get them out of there."

He nodded but he had his doubts. There was too much going on right now. There was too much at stake to risk it all on a couple of strangers. Maddy wasn't like him. She wanted to save the whole goddamn world. Spare the innocents and do the right thing no matter the cost. But Merle was leery of the world. Had been before it turned to shit. If they tried to help those people, and they got caught, their precarious cover would be blown wide open and they wouldn't stand a chance.

But he saw it in her eyes. She was going to try to help and he had to keep her from doing just that. He couldn't tell her that they needed to stay out of it because a part of him was at least trying to understand her. Trying to find some common ground that they could stand on. So he simply nodded.

The relief that came over her was like a physical weight that he could see lift from her shoulders, but it didn't dissipate. That heavy weight settled on his own shoulders like a boulder. When she met his eyes this time she seemed confident that he would help her do the right thing.

"I knew it. You're infuriating but I knew you would help me. You're a good man, Merle. Even though you don't even want to be."

Goddamn it...

Everything he had just considered flew out the window as she watched him. She had faith in him. Faith like nobody had ever had in him before and he was suddenly filled with a need to not let her down. He knew then he was going to do it. He was going to risk it all. The position. The power. Possibly even his life, because some woman wanted him to.

Most men would feel good about a decision like this. The decision to do the right thing. But all Merle felt was a strange sense of loss. He couldn't put his finger on it but it almost felt like what he was losing, was a piece of himself. He'd never been the good guy. He'd never had the urge to try to be the good guy. But right now, for her, he desperately wanted to give it a go.

This sucked.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One**

The men had shoved some kind of cloth in their mouths before tying the rope around their heads to secure it. It took a long time but Daryl had managed to use his tongue to work the wad of fabric over enough where he could get the rope under his molars. His jaws felt like they were on fire but he nearly had the rope chewed in half. It wasn't much but it was a start. One thing at a time.

The woman's words still swirled around in his mind, sounding strange. She had mentioned Merle. Her husband? It couldn't be. There was no fucking way that in the short time he had been apart from his brother the man had gone and gotten fucking _married_. Could people even get married anymore? He shook his head and worked his jaws, the pain spreading to his neck muscles. It was a hell of a consequence but that's what it had to be. His brother wouldn't have anything to do with a woman like that. She carried herself like a woman that had some damn respect for herself and compassion for others and that wasn't Merle's forte. So there was a Merle Dixon somewhere in this place but it wasn't his brother. It couldn't be. And he sure as shit wasn't going to get his hopes up.

He'd refrained from moving his head to look at Carol because he was afraid he'd lose his grip on the rope caught between his teeth, but he wanted to look at her. He was worried. More than worried. That psycho mother fucker wasn't going to just kill her and Daryl knew it. He'd known it when they had first busted through the doors of that goddamn building. The way he'd looked at her.

The two of them had been idiots to think that they could spend any amount of time in one place and still stay safe. He'd forgotten that the real monsters were alive and well and now roaming a world with no laws. No consequence to their actions. He should have thought of that. But he hadn't.

They were suppose to move out at first light. That plan had fallen through as soon as he had woken up and the memories from the night before had him brazenly working her clothes back off before he'd even opened his goddamn eyes. It'd still been dark out then so he'd thought it was alright. By the time they actually got dressed and was almost ready to go, it seemed like hell itself was reigning down on them.

If they would have left the place just thirty minutes earlier, they wouldn't be in this situation. They'd be on their damn way to Atlanta to search for his brother. Instead they were here, battered and bruised and facing certain death. All because he'd been overeager to fuck her again.

Finally, the rope came apart and he was spitting out the cloth and letting the rope fall away. He worked his aching jaws for a few seconds and then looked over at her. She was watching him carefully and he realized that she had taken his lead. She looked like she was trying to chew through her own rope. Then they could at least communicate.

His mouth was so dry that his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth and it took him a little time to work up enough saliva to actually speak.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice scratchy.

She nodded.

"You think that woman is gonna try to help?" He asked, not sure if he had read her correctly.

Carol had been giving him a look when the woman had been speaking to Blake. Daryl wasn't really in the mood to trust any of the sons of bitches though. They had kicked his ass pretty good, roughed her up when she had tried to help and now he just wanted to put a bolt in every one of their heads. The damn woman included.

She studied him before nodding slowly. She wanted to trust the woman. Hell, he wanted to trust the woman. But he wasn't going to. He didn't know how long they had been tied up in here but he expected someone to come around soon. It had been a while, he knew that much, so someone would at least come and check on them.

"Even if she don't help, we'll get the hell outta here. We ain't gonna go down like this. Done been through too damn much to go out at the hands of some pompous asshole. If I'm gonna go then I'm at least gonna go down fighting... or runnin'," he added, knowing if they got themselves free, he wasn't sticking around to fight the son of a bitch. They'd run.

She held his gaze for a few more moments and then looked away. She was scared. He could see it in her eyes that she didn't really believe that they would get out of this and he really couldn't blame her. But he'd get her out of this. Somehow he'd keep the son of a bitch from touching her again. He just wasn't sure how. He just needed a little more...

He felt the armrest he was tied to give slightly and he grew very still, hope surging through him, chasing away some of the pain with the rush of adrenaline. He looked up when she finally spit out the wad of cloth and then worked her own jaws.

"Thank God," she breathed. She looked at him. "Merle? That woman, do you know her? Did Merle have a... a wife before?"

Daryl shook his head. "Can't be. No woman like that would marry my brother and my brother wouldn't ask. Merle goes for... Well, you met him. It can't be my brother. It's somebody else."

"Daryl it could-"

"It's somebody else," he snapped, not meaning to put so much anger into his voice but he couldn't believe it. Not right now. He couldn't get his hopes up just to be let down. Until his brother was standing in front of him, he wouldn't dare believe that it could be him. It didn't make any sense.

Carol nodded. "Okay." There was too much going on at the moment for her to have her feelings hurt because of his attitude. She was tougher than that. "Have you been able to loosen any of those ropes?"

He'd been working the wood ever since he had felt it give a bit earlier and it felt like it was ready to crack. These weren't your average store bought pieces of furniture off an assembly line. They were older chairs, made back in a time when craftsmanship was something to take pride it. The chair was carved from a single piece of heavy wood and he couldn't tip it because his feet were tied to the legs and he was sure it was somehow bolted to the floor. He looked up and was about to tell her that he was pretty sure he could get one hand free but suddenly he heard the lock on the door thump a few times.

They watched as a man stepped inside. He wasn't one of the ones that had taken them. He looked Latino and he barely glanced at them as he pulled the door shut. He was carrying two bottles of water and a nasty looking rifle. He wordlessly stepped up to Carol first and Daryl winced as his aching jaws slammed together. If the man did something to her there wasn't shit he could do about it.

Instead the man simply looked at her and held up one of the bottles. "I was coming in here to take the gags off but looks like you've done my job for me."

Carol just stared at him wordlessly. Good. He wasn't sure about this guy and the less either of them said to him the better.

The man shrugged. "I'm not sure where the hell the boss went but I thought somebody needed to keep a check on you two. Can't have you sitting here dehydrating on us. That's no way to go out," he rambled. He twisted off the cap and held the bottle up. "Not much dignity in this but you want a drink?"

Carol grudgingly nodded and Daryl watched as the man tipped the bottle to her lips. She drank deeply. He didn't want to take a damn thing from this asshole but if he offered Daryl a drink he'd take it. He was so goddamn dry because of the gag that his throat was on fire. The guy didn't look overly pissed off and he wasn't looking at them like they were villainous murderers like the other man was making them out to be.

"Thank you," she said, sounding a lot more like herself. Daryl was surprised she sounded so sincere. If it had been him he may have saved the last drink to spit right in the guy's face, but maybe that's why he needed to keep his mouth shut and let her talk if they were going to be doing any talking.

The man nodded and moved on to Daryl. He didn't bother asking him if he was thirsty. He just tipped up the bottle and let him drink from it like some kind of goddamn chained up animal. But he did appreciate it because he'd been thirsty as fuck and, somehow, this guy didn't seem as bad as the others.

He stood up and regarded them with a level look. "Listen, I don't know what's going on out there. The Governor usually don't disappear like this. Especially with... visitors." He smirked at Daryl but when his eyes went to Carol he thought he saw a bit of pity in them.

Carol must have seen it too because she pounced. "Look," she said, her voice weak. "I know what he's telling people out there but it isn't true. You don't have a reason to believe us but I swear to you, all we were doing out there was looking for my little girl and his brother. I don't understand why we're here."

The man seemed to flinch slightly at the mention of a little girl and, again, Carol was observant enough to see it.

"She's only twelve years old and she's out there alone. If we don't find her she's not going to have a chance..." Carol didn't have to force the tears. She didn't have to force her voice to crack.

The man looked away and without another word he hauled ass out the door.

"Son of bitch," Carol hissed, shaking her head.

"You did good," Daryl muttered, going right back to work on the chair arm.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two**

As night fell over the town Merle grew more and more uneasy. There was a tension in the air that had the whole town on edge. It was thick, almost making it hard to breath. Philip Blake had finally sent word, through Milton, that he wanted the people to gather at the arena, which Merle knew all about thanks to Martinez. As soon as the sun had gone down he had gone to the building that Maddy said the people were being held but the door was guarded. He hadn't gotten close enough to see who was standing there but this wasn't going to be as easy as he had thought.

And he hadn't thought it would be very easy at all.

He regretted what he was going to have to do here. He didn't want to leave the place with Blake still breathing. The man was a giant pimple in the already acne infested ass of the world. He needed to be taken out, whether Merle stayed on or not. Men like that, as long as they had the ability to breath, would bring nothing but misery to anyone stupid enough to follow him. And damn the poor soul that tried to get in his way.

Maddy was already there, standing behind Sophia with her hands on the girl's shoulders. They were standing at the other side of the fire from him and when he met her eyes he shook his head slightly. She bowed her head, remorse clear on her face. He didn't know what to do. He had gone to the place where the guns were stored but that, too, had been guarded. He couldn't go in there without having a valid reason. So he stood there and waited for Blake like the rest of them and trying to devise some sort of plan that would actually work.

~H~

Maddy waited around for another few minutes and then she grabbed Sophia by the hand and slipped into the shadows. She led her down the dark street, deserted because everyone was waiting on Blake, and then stopped at the corner.

"I'm going to try to talk myself into that building, okay? And I have to take you with me because no matter what, we're leaving tonight." She kept her voice hushed but Sophia was listening carefully.

They walked to the edge of town and with no hesitation whatsoever, Maddy made her way to the man standing in front of the door, her hand gripping Sophia's. She didn't think bringing the little girl was the right thing to do but she couldn't leave her alone and she didn't want to leave her with Merle in case Blake had something he needed Merle to do. There was something happening that Merle wasn't telling her and she knew it but she wasn't going to waste time asking him what it was.

The doorway to the building was dark and whoever was standing there tightened their hold on the rife in their hands. "Who's there?"

Maddy could have wept in relief at the sound of the familiar voice. "It's me, Maddy."

Martinez relaxed and motioned for her to come closer. "Any news from the Governor yet?" He asked once they were close enough for him to actually see.

Maddy shook her head. "He just asked for everyone to meet at the arena. But I came here to ask you a favor."

Martinez met her eyes and held her gaze for a few moments. He looked troubled but she didn't want to bring that up. There was no time. She had a heavy feeling in her chest because she was probably going to have to figure out a way to... take him out. If she was ever going to free the people behind that door, he couldn't be there to get in her way, and she desperately wanted to free them. She _needed_ to free them. Something was telling her that this was more than just a couple of innocent people. Saving them was going to be monumental somehow. She just didn't understand how.

He looked down at Sophia and smiled kindly. "Isn't it a little cold for you to be wearing that flimsy jacket?" He asked, even though it wasn't very cold out tonight.

Sophia stared at him wordlessly and then he surprised Maddy when he took off his own jacket, crouched down in front of the girl, and draped it over her shoulders.

"There you go, kid." When he stood back up he looked at Maddy expectantly. "What do you need?"

She looked from him to the door and then back, shifting on her feet because she really didn't think she would be able to hurt the man if it came right down to it and she really needed to be strong enough to do what she needed to do. "I want to talk to them again. The Governor let me in before so it shouldn't be a big deal if I go in there. They haven't even had a drink of water since they got here and they-"

"I brought them water," he interrupted. "And you know I can't do that, Maddy."

She looked up at him, her eyes pleading. "Five minutes. You know me. What can I do? I'm not a threat to anything." She hated how damn true those words were.

His eyes narrowed and he looked between her and the door and then down to Sophia. Finally, he nodded. "Five minutes, but Jane stays with me. She isn't a part of any of this and I don't want her involved."

She looked down at the girl but Sophia only nodded. Maddy knew that Merle couldn't stand the man but she knew that that was just because Merle was Merle and he didn't really like anyone. Sometimes she felt like he didn't even like her. But Martinez had been a decent friend to her since she had gotten here. She thought, no, she _knew_ that he was a good man. And Sophia trusted him too. She nodded then. "Okay. If I'm done sooner, I'll just knock and you can let me out."

He didn't look very happy as he unlocked the door and opened it just wide enough for her to step through. She shut the door behind her, turned and then gasped.

The chairs were empty and then, before she could turn back around or look deeper in the room for the man and woman, a strong arm went around her, a hand clamping firmly over her mouth and then she felt something sharp press into her throat. She grew still as the woman stepped out of the shadows, her eyes hard until she met Maddy's.

"Daryl, let her go," she said quickly as she hurried towards them.

~H~

When Philip Blake finally made his appearance at this ridiculous shindig Merle was ready to get the hell out of there. One minute Maddy and Sophia had been right across the open space from him and the next, they were gone. He knew she had something up her sleeve. She was stubborn and even though he hadn't been able to devise a plan to get the people out, didn't mean she was willing to give up just yet.

But if Blake was still planning on having Merle fight the man, then someone would be going after the guy soon and she was going to get busted. But if he left and Blake saw that he was missing then he could possibly have the whole damn town searching for him.

When Merle looked up he froze. Philip was staring right at him and there was a look on his face that chilled the air around them. Merle held his gaze. The man looked completely haggard. In just a few hours, after finding his walker daughter killed, he had aged ten years or more. Merle knew then that the jig was up. Somehow, Blake knew it was Merle who had ended the girl, and now he was going to get blown away.

If he got out of this somehow he was seriously going to work on his impulse control.

The crowd was growing more and more quiet until silence prevailed and then suddenly, Philip spoke, finally breaking the stare.

"I've tried to be a good leader to the people of this town," he said in a loud clear voice. "I've tried to provide you with protection. I've tried to provide you with food, water... stability. I've provided a school for your children and good honest work for the rest of you. In return, I haven't asked for much."

A murmur of agreement arose from the audience. Because that was exactly what they were. An audience. Blake stood in the center of the circle, spinning slowly so they all felt as though he were speaking to all of them and all of them were paying rapt attention to every word he spoke. Some even had the glazed look of fanatics listening to a cult leader. Merle ignored the chill rolling down his spine.

"Merle Dixon," Blake said loudly, turning to face him expectantly.

Merle didn't flinch. He didn't blink. Blake was waiting for him to make a move and he knew then that he wasn't walking out of this arena alive. He had acted on impulse and he had somehow been caught and now he was going to pay for his actions. He walked with confidence until he was standing in front of the man, his gaze never wavering. He wouldn't go out cowering like a pussy. He'd stand there and take what was handed to him.

Philip studied him for a long time and the silence was thick. When he turned back to the crowd he gestured with his hands. "Despite everything I have done to protect you all, despite every sacrifice I have made for the greater good of this community, I came back to my home to discover that there's a traitor among us. Someone that I took under my wing. Someone that I trusted.

Merle stood there, arms crossed over his chest, watching as the crowd started that low murmur again, but this time there was an underlying current of anger in their muted voices. Blake turned to stare at him again and finally Merle's patience wore thin. "Let's get on with it, Governor," he said, his voice firm.

Philip gave him a small nod and then turned again. "Bring him out."

Merle's brows pulled together and his head turned towards movement off to his right. Two of Philip's men had another man caught between them. He'd seen the guy around plenty of times. He was one of the few other than Martinez that was always around Blake. He was a big guy, dark skin and a look of pure confusion on his face.

Blake must have pegged him as the guy that had come an ended Penny. But what the hell did that have to do with Merle?

"I found out tonight that this man has been arming another group not far away. He's taking from this community and plans to take it. Plans to do whatever he has to do to get this other group through those gates. He's even killed my own men on scouting runs."

The accused man looked completely floored by what Blake was saying and Merle didn't blame him. Blake must have concocted that lame ass story right off the top of his head. But Blake couldn't very well tell these people the truth. That he thought the man had broken into his home where he had hidden his walker daughter, and killed her for good.

Philip Blake looked up then, his eyes hard, meeting Merle's expectantly. "You wanted this job. Kill him."

The words had Merle's composure slipping. So all Blake wanted was for Merle to take this guy out? Shit he could do that...

Fuck! Maddy would kill him if he killed this guy right now!

He gave Blake a once over and then shrugged. It wasn't like he could refuse. If he refused all Blake would have to do is amp up his speech and implicate Merle in these made up crimes. Then Merle _and_ the poor bastard would be killed. Already the crowd was practically hissing at the guy. "How you want this done?" Merle asked, knowing he didn't have choice.

Blake smiled. "You fight."

Merle nodded and waited for the men to let the other guy go. Blake walked away, joining the others as his men hauled the poor bastard closer to Merle. He looked up into the man's dark eyes, preparing to feel at least a little bit bad, but there was a knowing look in those dark depths. Before Merle could even decide how to go about doing this the big mother fucker hauled off and punched him right in the damn jaw.

Merle stumbled backwards, his eyes coming up. He grinned. "You fucked up." He swung then and heard the satisfying sound of the man's nose breaking.


	23. Chapter 23

**Sorry about the wait. This chapter kept giving me fits for some reason and I'm still not 100% happy with it but I wanted to update before the weekend! Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Twenty Three**

Maddy wasn't sure if the man was going to listen to the woman but she hoped because the point of the object at her throat was breaking the skin.

"Daryl!" The woman hissed, her hand going to his arm. "She isn't here to do anything. Stop."

With a guttural growl he dropped his arm and shoved Maddy away from him. The woman managed to steady her, giving the man behind her a disapproving look.

Maddy looked between them as the man came around to join the woman. She decided that it was him she needed to talk to since the woman already seemed to trust her at least a little. "Daryl, right? I'm Maddy. Maddy Dixon and I'm here to try to help you two get out of here. But I'm telling you now that me and my husband and... little girl are coming with you. No arguments."

He watched her, his eyes cold and then they flicked to the woman.

"I'm Carol," she said quickly, getting Maddy's attention. "How are you going to help us get out?"

"We don't fuckin' know her," Daryl snapped, gesturing to the woman but managing to keep his voice down. "She could be setting us up."

Carol didn't even glance at him. She kept her eyes on Maddy's and Maddy made sure to hold her gaze. "I swear to you, I'm here to help. There's a man outside with a gun but I..."

The door opened then and Martinez stepped into the room, stopping in the doorway, surprised that there were three people standing there instead of just Maddy. He gave her an accusing look and was about to swing the rifle around when Daryl lunged at him, knocking the door closed when their bodies collided. They ended up in a heap on the floor.

Without hesitating Carol joined in the fray, wrenching the strap of the rifle from Martinez's arm as soon as Daryl's fist connected with the man's jaw. Carol took a few steps back aiming the gun at the two men on the floor and then muttered Daryl's name in a low voice. He glanced over his shoulder and then smirked, pushing away from Martinez.

He took the gun from her and then motioned for Maddy to stand next to Martinez who was angrily pushing himself up off the floor. "There anybody else out there?" Daryl demanded, the gun trained on them.

Maddy shook her head but Martinez stayed silent. This wasn't working out how she wanted it too. She had been planning on freeing them from their binds and earning their trust. Now it just seemed like she stumbled upon them breaking out and was saying what she needed to say to keep them from killing her. She knew her only ally here was Carol. Even Martinez was glaring at her now.

"Answer the question," Carol said evenly.

Maddy nodded. "There's a little girl out there but she has nothing to do with this. Do what you want to us but just let her go."

Daryl grimaced. "We ain't the type to hurt a little girl, lady. That asshole made up the whole goddamn story. The only reason we were out there was because we were lookin' for a little girl ourselves."

Maddy nodded. "I believe you. I swear I do. I want out of this place just as much as you."

He snorted. "I'm doubtin' that. Don't look to me like you've been roughed up too much."

A flash of anger had her eyes narrowing. "You don't know a damn thing about me. Nothing at all. I came here, risking my own ass, to get the two of you free because I wanted to do the right thing. I don't care if you believe me or not!"

"I got the gun, lady, so maybe you should care what we believe," he muttered.

"Daryl," Carol muttered, giving him another look that caused him to roll his eyes.

"Oh come on, I know you ain't fallin' for this bullshit! We need to go. Grab the ropes and tie their asses up and lets get the fuck out of here."

Maddy felt her mouth drop at that. No! They couldn't do that. She needed to get Sophia out of this place. She had to go find Merle. If Philip found her in here he would know she'd wanted to help them and he would instantly blame her for them being freed.

The rifle moved slightly as the door creaked open and Maddy's heart sank when she saw Sophia step into the room. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting but when she looked back at the couple, Daryl was staring past her, eyes wide and the gun lowered. Carol was covering her mouth, a strangled sound finally erupting from her.

Maddy felt Martinez move and reached out, grabbing his arm to stop him when she heard Sophia's voice.

"Mom?"

"I'll be damned," Daryl said, his voice softer than before, filled with awe.

Carol bent down just as Sophia threw herself into her arms and for Maddy, the pieces fell into place. This whole time Merle had never mentioned his brother's name. But this had to be him. If this was Sophia's mother, from the group Merle had belonged to, then this gruff shaggy haired asshole that had nearly stabbed her in the neck had to be...

"Daryl Dixon?" She asked, almost too afraid to hear the answer.

His eyes moved from Carol and Sophia and met Maddy's then. He nodded, still looking to be in shock.

"Merle Dixon. That's your brother?"

Daryl nodded but his eyes grew guarded.

"What the hell is going on?" Martinez asked, clearly confused at the turn of events.

Maddy didn't look away from Daryl. "Your brother is here somewhere. I found him cuffed to a rooftop in Atlanta. That night he was hit by a car and we were brought here. Have you been looking for him?"

Daryl nodded and then glanced back down at Sophia and Carol.

Maddy took a gamble and gripped Martinez's arm harder, forcing him to look at her. "You have to help us. You know you're better than this. Leave with us tonight. Help us find Merle and get the hell out of here. Please!"

"If you're lyin' about my brother..." Daryl muttered, disbelief clear in his voice.

She glared at him. "How could I be lying? How could I know your last name? How could I know your brother's name? Jesus, you're as bad as he is. You're a stubborn ass of a man and I have no idea why either of us could possibly put up with you two!" She gestured between herself and Carol.

"Daryl, we can trust her. Merle's here. Somehow we've found what we've been looking for so stop fighting it. We'll go get him and-"

"You ain't goin' no damn where," Daryl barked, causing Sophia to turn wide eyes on him. "You and the girl are out of this." His head swung around his eyes boring into Maddy's. "Can you get them outta here? I'll get Merle myself."

"Fuck," Martinez ran a hand over his face. "You know we're not walking out of this place alive, right?"

Maddy watched as Daryl's eyes darkened. "You don't know us very well then. And what's with this _we_ shit?"

Maddy shook her head. "If anyone can help, it's him. He can get you to the weapons." She wasn't sure if he was going to let Martinez help but she was sure that they could trust him.

Daryl looked skeptical but that was all on him. She had to get Carol and Sophia out and she planned on doing just that. It wouldn't be too hard since it seemed like everyone except her and Martinez were at the other end of town. She wasn't going to stay outside the walls though. She was coming back and she was getting Merle the hell out of here. She couldn't just stand outside and hope for the best.

~H~

Merle clenched and unclenched his fists, staring down at the man. He knew it was over but he was running on so much adrenalin that that didn't seem to register. The crowd cheered on the violence like a pack of hungry hyenas. Like a bunch of buzzards waiting for their meal. They made him sick and he briefly wondered how many of them he could take out before someone tried to stop him.

He turned his head and spit to the side, swiped his hand across his bloodied lip. The man was tough, that was for damn sure. But Merle was just a little tougher. And a little meaner. And he had to get this shit over with and figure out what that goddamn woman was getting herself into, so he'd fought harder, doing what he needed to do to get this shit finished so he could get the hell out of here. He stared down at the man that was lying on the ground in front of him, unmoving.

Merle was a changed man. He couldn't deny that in the least, but he felt no remorse for this killing. He didn't feel guilt over what he'd done. He hadn't had a choice. Had he been given one, maybe he would have walked away, but he wasn't sure. Here lately it felt like there were two people battling to take over one body. One was good and one was bad and he was constantly conflicted. Right now, however, he was who he had always been.

Later? Maybe later he'd be the man that he only recently discovered he could be.

His head snapped up when he heard a slow dramatic clap start from somewhere in the crowd and Philip Blake stepped into the circle. He looked pleased. He looked psychotic. He regarded Merle for a few seconds and then looked at the ground where the dead man lay.

"Very nice, Merle," he said before looking back up and meeting Merle's eyes. "But now it's time for the finale."

Merle frowned and then spun around when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. Four men were stalking towards him and it looked like Blake had hand picked them. Two of them were Blake's men but the other two he didn't know. They were just townspeople but they were big and looked like they'd just witnessed Merle diddling their daughters or something.

"Fuck," he growled, taking a step back.

The men stopped and then Blake stepped around, hands behind his back and a look of heartache on his face. He shook his head slowly. "Someone saw you, Merle. Told me that they saw you leaving my place before dawn. Now, what could you have possibly been doing there, Merle?" The unhinged quality of his voice gave Merle the fucking creeps.

He was busted and he knew it. There wasn't shit he could do to get out of this but he'd be damned if he went down begging. He wouldn't plead with this cocksucker. He'd go down fighting if he had to go. He squared his shoulders and felt his lips turn up. "Just cleanin' up. Takin' out some trash. You know, doin' the dirty work that you couldn't do," he said, his tone cocky and self assured even though his thoughts right then were on Maddy, hoping like hell she could escape before this son of a bitch went after her. And Merle knew he would. He would hurt her in ways Merle didn't want to imagine and it was all his own damn fault. He should have been more careful. He shouldn't have done what he'd done.

Philip's eyes hardened and a muscle in his jaw clenched and if Merle didn't know any better he could swear that he could hear the fucking madness creeping over the man. The four men took another step before Blake raised a hand to stop them. "Why?" He asked in a low voice. "Answer me that and maybe I'll order them to make this quick."

Merle felt his own features harden. "You think you can threaten what's mine without some sort of retaliation?" He shook his head. "You pegged me wrong, Governor. You threaten mine, I take out yours. Eye for an eye."

Blake looked at him in disbelief. "Well, I hope she was worth it, Merle. Cause that woman is the cause of you losing everything tonight."

Merle gave him a swift nod. "She's worth it," he said without missing a beat.

Blake took a step back then, gesturing towards Merle with a flick of his wrist. The men started towards him again. Merle stood his ground, refusing to back away but almost dove for cover when a bone rattling explosion pierced the quiet night around them.

Three of the men hit the ground, covering their heads, and the crowd surrounding them seemed to all start running in different directions all at once, instant chaos. Merle looked up then, towards the other side of town, and saw flames licking at the night. From where he stood, it looked like Philip Blake just lost his entire arsenal.

Merle started backing away then, thinking that maybe he'd get out of this after all. That was when he felt the barrel between his shoulder blades. He glanced over his shoulder and cursed out loud.

Martinez was there, grinning triumphantly, pressing the rifle into him harder than he needed to.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey! Thanks for being patient. I've had a busy week. Actually, it was my Birthday yesterday and I've done a lot of hiding, I ain't gonna lie. Lol I'm not really a big fan of Birthdays. Anyway, hope you don't want to kick my ass after this chapter! I'm getting to work on the next one right now so there won't be a huge wait! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Twenty Four**

Maddy knew that there was no way she could get Carol and Sophia out by just walking through the front gates. She had no idea what would be happening on the other side of town but the cheers and yells from the townspeople grated on her nerves and she desperately wanted to know what the hell was going on. She knew that of every person in this place, Merle was the one that was the most capable of getting himself out of here. That didn't mean that he would. For all of his faults, and Jesus, there were plenty, she knew that he wouldn't leave Woodbury without her.

She didn't know how she knew this but she knew it deep in her bones. He cared.

Luckily it seemed as though Martinez was willing to reluctantly help. He pointed out directions to a seldom used back entrance. It was a man sized door that was chained and locked but it was made from chain link and they could just scale it.

She looked up and saw Martinez watching Daryl as he spoke low to Carol a few feet away. She couldn't make out the words but the look on his face told her that maybe in all this mess, Daryl Dixon had found someone to care for just like Merle had. In any other circumstance she would have smiled at that, but she wasn't in the mood to smile at the moment.

Daryl pushed a knife into Carol's hand and gave her a severe look right before he slipped the gun strap over her shoulder. "Keep your goddamn ass alive out there," he muttered in a gruff voice.

Carol nodded, eyes wide but seeming unafraid. She kept one arm around Sophia's shoulders, keeping the girl close enough to touch at all times.

"If it gets to bad, just get out," she said, concern in her blue eyes.

He gave her a swift nod but before he turned away they shared a look and Maddy could have sworn that the man blushed deeply and then Carol bit her lip to fight off a small smile. These two were going to be fun to figure out once they all got out of here alive.

Martinez led the way to the guns and Carol took up the rear with the rifle. She would keep it. They would load up with as much as they could carry and then the three of them, Maddy, Carol and Sophia would escape while Martinez and Daryl went after Merle. But Maddy hadn't mentioned that as soon as she had Carol and Sophia where they all agreed to meet, she was coming back. They could use the help. She knew that the only thing keeping Carol from going with them was Sophia. She wouldn't endanger the girl and Maddy sure as hell wouldn't expect her to.

She was amazed at the amount of guns and ammo that Philip Blake had accumulated in such a short amount of time. She didn't even want to think about where all of this came from. How many men had possibly died at his hands just because they had something he wanted.

Daryl muttered something and picked up a bow from one of the shelves. The easy way he gripped the weapon and slid the strap over his head she was sure that it was his. No one would bother with a bow in a room full of guns like these unless the weapon belonged to them.

What surprised her was when he grabbed a hand gun and shoved it into Sophia's hand and then stuffed a few spare magazines into the pockets of her jacket. He glanced at Carol. "Show her how to use it as soon as you get out there."

Carol simply nodded.

"I get a gun?" Sophia asked, looking at the weapon in her hand.

Daryl nodded and then his eyes were back on Carol's. Maddy looked away, following Martinez deeper into the room, taking as many of the rifles as she could handle. They would push them under the back gate before climbing over and stashing them in the truck that Martinez told them about.

She was as ready as she would ever be and was about to make her way back to Carol and the others when she smelled gasoline. Before she could go on the hunt for Martinez he was there, grabbing her arm and hauling her towards the door. "What the hell's going on?" She hissed.

He shook his head. "You think I'm planning on leaving this place and just letting him have all of this? You have no fucking idea the things I've had to do to help him accumulate it. I'm burning this place to the ground."

She gaped at him, glancing around at all of the artillery that would be burned to nothing. "We could come back. Carol told us that tomorrow we're meeting up with that group they left. If there's enough of them then we could-"

"No we couldn't. You don't know the man. He's a fucking mental case," he said harshly, glaring. "It won't take him any time at all to get his shit together and bring hell down on all of us. He won't stop until he finds us. There's something else going on here. He didn't stay holed up in his rooms all day because he wanted a rest. Something's happened. Something bad. If not then he would have talked to me already about my opinion of Merle. I was suppose to keep an eye on him today. But Blake never showed. That's not a good sign. We need to leave and we need to make it as hard as possible for him to come after us." With that he turned and splashed more shelves with gas.

She started shoving as much ammo as she could into her pockets. When it was finally over and they stepped outside the silence was eerie now. The cheers had vanished and she felt a heavy sense of dread fill her with anxiety. She shared a look with Martinez and then the five of them took off towards the back entrance. Once the three of them were outside of Woodbury and heading towards the truck, Martinez and Daryl would set the building on fire and then, hopefully, be able to find Merle and then escape in the certain chaos that would ensue.

Except she didn't have any intentions of staying away from any of it. Philip didn't have any reason to believe that she would betray him. There were too many people for him to keep an eye on everyone. As far as he would know, she had been there with the crowd the whole time. She couldn't just wait it out and hope that they would find Merle. Three sets of eyes were a hell of a lot better than two and she wouldn't have to keep herself hidden like Daryl did. They needed her. _Merle_ needed her.

~H~

Merle didn't have a choice but to stand there. Blake turned around then, his eyes coming up to meet his and then, despite the fact that shit was chaos around him, he grinned. He didn't care about the guns going up in flames. He didn't care about the people running in all directions. The only thing he cared about was getting revenge for his daughter.

Blake took a step towards them, nodding to the asshole that had the gun shoved into his back before he pulled out a gun of his own. "You still think she was worth it, Dixon?"

Merle kept his eyes on Blake's, refusing to give the man the satisfaction of seeing him look down at the weapon that was sure to end him. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye but he refused to look away.

"Stop! Please, don't shoot him!"

Merle flinched at the sound of Maddy's voice and he cursed out loud. Why in the hell was this crazy woman here? She was suppose to be with the kid and they were suppose to be working on getting the hell out of here, not saving his ass.

Blake's eyes slid over to Maddy and she stopped. The smile that lit the man's face was chilling.

"Don't," Merle choked on the word before he could stop it. He knew exactly what Blake intended to do. Merle had taken his daughter from him and now Blake was going to take the only goddamn thing left in the world that Merle cared about.

Martinez cursed and suddenly, the gun wasn't at his back anymore and Martinez was stepping around him. Merle looked past Blake when he saw someone coming up behind the man, walking with a purpose. He had the strange sense that he was hallucinating because he was watching his own brother raise his bow and zeroing in on the back of Blake's head. Martinez raised the rifle, Daryl's finger tightened on the bow. There were still people scattering, screaming, chaos.

Before Martinez could squeeze off a shot, Philip Blake already had the pistol on Maddy and Merle watched as fire shot from the muzzle. Another shot indicated Martinez had fired and before Blake's body could even hit the ground a bolt hit him in the back of the head, the tip protruding from his eye just as his body crumpled.

A few yards away, Maddy was on her back, unmoving.

Merle suddenly felt much colder than he had a moment before. A wave of grief nearly had his legs buckling but something else was fighting for dominance and that something else was a cold rage that was rising from some dark place that surprised him. The rage kept him steady as he walked to the fallen woman. He was dimly aware of Martinez's frantic voice, the voices of the people from Woodbury. He thought maybe he even heard Daryl's voice. He could hear the sounds of pounding footsteps. The sounds of more shots. But something else was much louder than that in his head.

 _I knew it. You're infuriating but I knew you would help me. You're a good man, Merle. Even though you don't even want to be._ Her voice echoed hollowly through his head.

"We gotta go, goddamn it. Now!" Someone growled close to his ear, grabbing his arm and yanking hard.

He turned his head because he knew that voice. Sure enough his brother was there, eyes wide and frantic as he tried to pull him away from the body. Merle was happy to see him. He had almost given up hope that he ever would. But he wasn't about to let Daryl force him to leave her there. The wound looked to be a chest wound. That's where most of the blood seemed to be. She'd turn and then these sons of bitches would put her down. It wasn't right. He'd do it himself. He'd put her down before she could turn and then he'd bury her. She deserved that.

"Merle... Oh Christ," Martinez was there now and Merle wanted to shove him away as he crouched over her. "Damn it."

Merle moved then, reaching down and picking her up like she weighed nothing at all.

"Merle, she's-" Martinez's voice trailed off at the look Merle gave him.

"She's fine," he snapped, knowing that she wasn't fine. Knowing that he was acting fucking crazy, but not caring. He wasn't leaving her. He wouldn't just turn his fucking back on her while she laid their on the cold street. Not when this was all his goddamn fault. All of it.

Martinez and Daryl covered him, returning fire. Merle ignored it all. He walked her through the chaos. He didn't know how they got out without being followed, or gunned down. He didn't know how the hell his brother was at his side or why Martinez had risked everything to get them the hell out.

He was numb. He didn't feel anything yet. Only a strange pressure in his chest. And the warmth. Warmth coming from the blood that was seeping through her clothes.

He was thankful for the numbness. He knew it wouldn't last and when it finally lifted, when he was finally able to feel something inside, he knew he wouldn't be the same man. The pain was going to change him. He'd turn just as surely as she would. She'd be a monster. And he'd be one too. Maybe a different kind, but a monster all the same.


	25. Chapter 25

**I'm sure quite a few of you are going to be too busy to read this chapter today but for those of you that aren't, I didn't want you to have to wait for it. So here you go. Stay safe and have a great day. As always, thank you for reading! =)**

 **Chapter Twenty Five**

They had barely gotten out of their alive and now this. Daryl cursed as walkers started stumbling out of the trees that lined the other side of the road. There were bodies surrounding the truck already and he could just make out Carol and Sophia standing on the roof.

Him and Martinez were able to keep the walkers at bay and Carol was doing a good job of clearing them away from the truck. The kid was trying, he'd give her that, but she was mostly just wasting ammo. When this crazy shit was over he'd need to work with her a bit because he wasn't about to deal with a repeat of what happened on the road last summer. If the girl got lost again, she'd be able to handle her own.

But he had to worry about that later. Right now he was worried about is brother. Merle wasn't handling this very well and Daryl could hardly believe that this woman could have the man so far out of his head. As a rule, Merle didn't give a goddamn about anyone but Merle. Sure, Daryl knew that Merle loved him. They were blood and that was different. They were all each other had ever had. But Merle treated women like objects. Like material possessions to be used and then discarded when the new wore off.

This was obviously not the case with this particular woman.

Carol jumped from the roof of the truck and helped Sophia down, wasting no time she shoved the little girl into the back seat. Their eyes met for a split second and then she took in his brother and her jaw clenched. She threw the backdoor open again and ushered Merle inside.

"I'll drive. I know this place a lot better than you three," Martinez said, taking it upon himself to push Carol in through the driver's door. Daryl got in behind his brother just as a hand reached in, clawing at his vest. He reached out, grabbing the walker by the hair and pulling it's head in just enough so he could slam the door a few times, smashing the skull. Martinez took off, not turning on the headlights.

Sophia was huddled against the door on the other side of Merle, huge eyes trained on the woman. Merle was trying to adjust her on his lap when Carol reached down, finding the lever that would move the front seat up. Once there was a small amout of room she crawled into the back, her knees on the floorboard.

"What happened?" She asked.

Merle shook his head, his face pale and his eyes unable to move from the woman's face. Carol calmly asked Martinez to turn on the interior lights. With a grumble the man obliged. Without another word Carol pressed her fingers against the woman's throat. Her eyes came up, meeting Merle's.

"Her pulse is a little erratic but she's alive. I need you to move your hands, Merle," she said in a soft placating voice.

Merle moved his hand and color seemed to seep back into his lips. "She's alive?"

Carol nodded. "She's alive and it sounds like her breathing is clear. I need to find out where the blood is coming from."

He nodded quickly and slid his hand away from the bloodied chest. Carol quickly worked the buttons of her shirt, pulling it away gently. Daryl was watching Merle's face. He'd never seen his brother look squeamish before but at the moment Merle looked like he was going to throw up. Glancing down he grimaced.

"It ain't a chest wound," Merle said in a low voice. He glanced up at Carol.

She shook her head. "Shoulder. A few more inches and it would have been fatal." She reached her hand around to the woman's back and then frowned. "No exit wound. Damn it," she muttered.

Daryl watched as her fingers moved back, prodding lightly at the wound. He saw blood on Merle's arm then and realized she had a head wound also. "Her head's bleedin'. Must have knocked her out when she hit the pavement."

"I need to get that bullet out," Carol said suddenly, looking up at Merle.

"We gotta pull over," Merle said, getting Martinez's attention.

The man shook his head. "We don't know if they're looking for us yet. I can't risk it and you know it."

Daryl was sure that Merle would have reached up and strangled the man if it wasn't for the woman. "We ain't seen a tail yet," Daryl snapped. "Those assholes are still back there runnin' around like idiots. They can't know where we ended up or that we even left! Pull the goddamn truck over now," Daryl growled. Before Martinez could reply Daryl had a pistol to his head. "I said now."

Carol looked up then, her eyes flashing. "Daryl!"

He looked at her. "Don't start with me. You gotta get that outta her now or anything could happen."

"You don't have to put a gun to his head. He's helped us!" She argued.

"Why the hell are you stickin' up for this asshole anyway? Up until an hour ago he was that son of a bitch's sidekick for fucks sake!"

"I'm not sticking up for him. I'm trying to think logically and he has a point. It's pitch black out there and there isn't anything I can do to help her if we get attacked by walkers or people from Woodbury. So would you put the damn gun away and then we can work on finding a safe place!"

Martinez glanced up in the mirror and Daryl cursed, still not moving the gun away from his head. "I'd listen to the lady if I were you. I want her to be okay just as much as the next person but stopping now is just asking to get us all killed. We won't be on the road much longer. I know exactly where that town is that you mentioned earlier. The place you're suppose to meet your people."

"Is it close?" Carol asked, sounding slightly frantic. "The longer we wait the more damage can be done. Every bump puts her more and more at risk. There's a lot of blood but I don't think anything major was torn but we need to get her somewhere fast. That head wound needs to be looked at too." Without even looking at him she reached out and snatched the gun out Daryl's hand.

He glared but she ignored him. As soon as they were able to get a few minutes alone her ass was gonna get an ear full.

"It isn't too far," Martinez said, looking relieved that there wasn't a gun to his head anymore.

~H~

Carol was worried about Maddy but she was also worried about Merle. He seemed to be in shock and seeing him like this was very strange. She remembered the man from the quarry. She remembered being afraid of him. Even more so than she was afraid of her own husband. But with Ed, it was different. He was a bully and a woman beater but inside, she knew he was really only a coward. Merle Dixon hadn't struck her as a coward and though Ed had done his damage to her over the years, she knew what to expect from him. With Merle, she made it a point to stay as far away from him as she could. He'd been dangerous in a different way Ed had been. Unpredictable.

But now he seemed at a loss and it was all the more heartbreaking because she knew how strong he was. For him to be in this shape, he really must love the woman. And she was going to be able to help the woman then she needed him to have a clear head in case she needed his help.

"So, Madison went and made an honest man of you, huh?" She asked, needing to coax him out of his shell. She could feel Daryl's eyes on her but she didn't look away from his brother.

Merle glanced up and then tried to smile but failed. He shook his head. "She ain't no miracle worker. And it's Maddy. Call her Maddy."

Carol nodded. This was good. He was at least talking.

"She said she found you in Atlanta?"

Another nod but his eyes went back to the woman. "Found me the night that prick cuffed me to the roof. Picked the lock and got me the hell out of there and then I got hit by a goddamn car. Dixon luck."

"And then you married her?" She asked when he went silent.

This got a reaction out of him. He smiled thinly. "Fucker went and told them I was her damn husband while I was knocked out. I went along with it though. Didn't blame her. Poor girl has the awfullest goddamn last name I ever heard in my life."

Carol smiled. "What is it?"

He glanced up then, his eyes growing somber. "You fix her up and let her tell you."

Carol nodded. "It's a deal."

"Can you do it?"

She held his gaze. "I promise you that I'm going to everything I can."

"Guess if that's all you got then I ain't got much choice but to take it. But just in case it'll inspire you to work a bit harder, she's the one that found your girl."

"Then I'm gonna make damn sure that me and Daryl can both thank her in person. We were actually looking for you when those men came. Daryl tried to find Sophia but the weather got so bad that..." Her voice trailed off and she glanced at her daughter. Sophia was looking at Maddy but she must have felt Carol's eyes on her because she looked up.

"She's really great, mom. You're really gonna like her."

"I already do," Carol said softly, reaching out and taking Sophia's hand, squeezing it gently.

Carol turned when the truck slowed down but it was hard to see because she was on her knees on the floorboard. Martinez pulled onto a wide street lined with abandoned buildings. There were walkers but not as many as had been coming out of those woods back at Woodbury. She turned sharply when she heard a pained groaned.

~H~

Maddy's dark eyes fluttered open and then she bit her lip against the pain. "Merle?"

"Shut up. I gotcha," Merle grumbled even though he felt like his goddamn heart was going to beat out of his chest. She was alive and she was speaking and she was going to make it. He didn't want her to use up too much of her energy just yet though. He'd thought she was dead. He'd been so sure of it. Hell, even Martinez and Daryl had seemed sure of it.

"Don't tell me to shut up. I feel like I've been hit by a bus," she tried to snap but her voice was weak. "And Jesus, my head hurts."

He watched her carefully. "Not a bus, a bullet. You got shot tryin' to do somethin' you knew was stupid. You hit your head when you fell. Why the fuck would you do somethin' so goddamn dumb?"

"Don't you start with me, Merle Dixon! I was trying to save you," she shot back in a voice that was still too weak to hold much threat.

"I didn't need savin'!"

Martinez looked up in the mirror then. "Actually he would have blown your face off if she hadn't came when she did."

"Nobody asked you, asshole," Merle snapped. He still didn't know why this man was helping them.

"Stop it Merle," Maddy scolded, her eyes closing again.

Merle turned at the sound of Daryl's quiet chuckle. "The hell are you laughin' at, huh? This ain't the only woman stickin' her neck out for Mr. Latin Heat up there in the driver's seat. Don't you forget it either."

Daryl's face darkened and he glanced at Carol then. Merle hadn't missed the back and forth between them a few minutes ago. He wasn't sure how or when but his little brother done put the dick to the widow. Now he was grinning knowingly and Daryl was scowling at him.

He thought about fucking with him about it but really, he didn't want to. Finding something good out here was a hard thing and if you did manage to luck into something, well, that wasn't no goddamn joke. It was a fragile thing. Not something to be mocked.

Oh Jesus fuck on a stick, what the hell kind of fucked up romantic faggoty shit was that? He'd eat a bullet before he ever spoke it out loud... but he still wasn't gonna try to get a rise out of his brother. He was damn happy for him.


	26. Chapter 26

**This feels like a filler to me. I'm not sure about this chapter but sometimes that happens. Hopefully you all enjoy it. Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Twenty Six**

Merle clamped his hand over her mouth, muffling the scream. She cut it off quickly and met his eyes and he had to look away. Her were wide, dark and filled with pain. Carol was doing what she could with what she had to work with, which wasn't much. The strip mall had a small pharmacy but it had already been looted. He'd looked for some meds, some antibiotics, anything that might have helped her but he came up empty handed. Some Tylenol, alcohol, and a few things to bandage her up was all he was able to come up with. They also found a sturdy pair of tweezers.

Carol made a sound of triumph and slowly pulled the tweezers out of the hole in Maddy's shoulder. Fresh blood welled up, spilling over and it made acid churn up the back of his throat at the sight of it. It was hard to believe such a small thing, like the metal that Carol held up with the tweezers, could end a person. Maddy was breathing hard but it didn't seem as though she were going to try to scream again. He removed his hand from her mouth and then she grabbed it, squeezing hard.

Daryl had been at her head, on his knees and bearing down on her shoulders to keep her from moving and causing Carol to do any more damage inside the wound. Now he moved, standing up and running a hand through his hair. Merle wanted to talk to his brother alone but he didn't want to leave her there just after she'd had a bullet dug from her shoulder. Now that things were slowing down in his mind he was finally able to process the fact that his brother was right fucking there.

When he looked back down Carol was just finishing up with the tape that would hold the bandages. They just had to hope the bleeding would stop on it's own. Daryl had suggested cauterizing it but Merle didn't want to do that. Not yet. She'd lost a lot of blood and was obviously feeling the effects of it but after she got some sugar in her system and was able to rest for a while, she would be okay. The thought of searing her fucking flesh was too much at the moment.

He felt weak. Not physically but mentally. He had let himself lose focus. He had just about lost it out there and he knew it. He was ashamed of it. The reason that it was so important to keep people at arms length was because things like this could happen if you didn't. You felt too much and you got fucking sloppy. You lost focus and you messed up. He'd let that happen. He had unwillingly let her in and it was changing him in ways that he didn't want to be changed. He didn't feel like the same man that had been cuffed to that roof.

He desperately wanted to be that man again. Because that man didn't fuck up. That man was on his goddamn game because that man looked out for number one.

"Me and my brother can take watch out there. You all can get some sleep. Carol and Martinez can take second watch," he said, needing a chance to talk to Daryl alone and knowing this was the only way.

Martinez nodded and laid his coat out as a makeshift bed on the floor. They had chosen the smallest place that was tucked into the center of the strip mall. It had been a small law office to some cheap attorney. It didn't have windows to bother barricading so it was the smartest choice.

Daryl didn't comment but he was talking to Carol at the back of the room in a low voice. He probably wasn't ready to trust Martinez just yet and Merle didn't blame him. As a rule, Dixon's didn't trust very many people.

"You have that look," Maddy said, her voice slightly slurred.

He looked down and frowned as she studied his face. They'd made her a pallet out of some clothes they had grabbed at a consignment store a few doors down from the law office where they were hold up. She looked sleepy. "What look?" he asked gruffly.

"That look you get when you're thinking entirely too hard about something," she said, her eyes drooping.

He scoffed. "I don't have a look."

A small smile graced her pale lips. "You like to think so."

"Get some sleep," he ordered in a low voice. He was about to push himself up off the floor but she grabbed his hand.

"Merle?"

He stared at her, wishing she would just go to sleep so he could get the hell out of the room and get his damn head clear. "You need somethin'?" He asked when she didn't say anything else.

She shook her head. "I need you to stop trying to convince yourself that you need to pull away. It isn't going to do you any good. Do you really think I want to care about you? It isn't an easy thing to do, but there isn't anything I can do about it. You're gonna care no matter how much you tell yourself not to."

He rolled his eyes at her and tried to pull his hand out of her grip but she held on with surprising strength. "What the hell do you want from me?" He asked, not even meaning to ask. He didn't want to know what she wanted from him because he didn't want to give it.

But knew that he would anyway.

She sighed heavily, her eyes fluttering closed and for a moment he was relieved, thinking he could finally slip away. No such luck, though. "I want you stay in here. I don't want to sleep alone."

He shook his head. "I already called watch."

"You're just gonna go out there and talk yourself into... I don't know. Staying away from me. I don't want a divorce. With the right amount of counseling I think we have a real shot here." She grinned sleepily.

Despite everything he chuckled. "Go to damn sleep, woman. I'll be back."

She nodded and then almost instantly her breathing evened out. Rest, food and a little bit of time and she'd be as good as new. And then he'd figure out what to do about all this fucked up emotional shit that he was dealing with. He wasn't gonna tell her that he was finished right after she'd taken a fucking bullet for him.

He stood up just as Daryl started walking towards him, leaving Carol and the girl to sleep in the back of the room. Merle didn't miss how Daryl had put them the furthest away from the door and tucked in behind the desk. They stepped outside without a word, leaving Martinez to barricade the door from the inside. It wasn't the bitter cold that they had dealt with last week but it was still pretty cold out. This cold was just a little more seasonal. Not anything they couldn't deal with easily.

He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. Daryl did the same so they were flanking the door. It was strange, the two of them standing sentinel. It had always just been them against the world, watching only the others back. Things were different now. So fucking different.

"Damn shame," Daryl muttered, glancing at him before his eyes went back to the empty lot.

"What's a damn shame?" Merle asked, his brows coming together in a frown.

Daryl shrugged lightly. "All these years it's just been you and me and I didn't even get an invite to the wedding."

Merle scowled as he watched his brother try to fight a grin. "Fuck off. I done told you what happened. I ain't married."

Daryl turned his head, eying him. "Maybe not, but you ain't the same as you were last time I saw you."

"Like I said," Merle muttered, looking away, "Fuck off." He wasn't about to stand out here and talk about his goddamn feelings with his brother. He knew he was different but the thought of other people seeing it pissed him the fuck off.

They stood in silence for a while before Daryl spoke again and when he did he thankfully didn't mention anything about Maddy. "We were gonna head back to Atlanta to try to hunt you down. That was the plan before that asshole Blake showed up."

Merle nodded. "Wasn't plannin' on stickin' around that place at first. Fucked up my leg when I was hit and it put me out for a bit. By the time I was healed up, shit was deep in that town. Maddy went to the quarry to find you but there wasn't anyone there." He glanced up. "You take off with her right after those cocksuckers showed up without me from that trip?"

Daryl shook his head. "We went back to get you but you were gone. Coulda went out on my own but a bunch of shit went down. By the time we got back to camp that night it was chaos. Walkers all over, people screamin'. We bailed. Ended up at the CDC, bout got blown up, went back on the road, lost the girl, Carl got shot. Shit just kept pilin' up and I didn't get a chance to go back out there and find your ass. Not till the farm..." His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "Anyway, that's the story. Our plan was to find the girl and then go after you."

Merle nodded. "And when exactly did you decide that it'd be smart to put it to the girl's mom?"

Daryl shook his head and kept his mouth shut just like Merle knew he would. This was a lot better than talking about him and Maddy. Getting his brother riled up was so damn easy, and it was distracting.

"So you can give me some shit about what happened but you don't wanna talk about how you're a step dad now?"

Daryl scowled. "Shut up. I ain't nobodies damn step dad. You of all people should know you can fuck somebody without any baggage."

Merle's brows went up. "Yeah. I know a thing or two about that. Good pussy is just that. Good pussy. No strings attached." He watched Daryl knowingly and saw his jaw clench hard. "That's good though cause Martinez in there is a bit of a ladies man, it seems. He's probably gonna talk himself up when the two of them are on watch tonight. But that ain't no business of yours since you just used her for a piece of ass."

Daryl refused to be bated but Merle was satisfied that he'd put a thorn in his brother's ass. He waited a few minutes before he changed the subject. "So, Rick is gonna be here tomorrow. You gonna kill him?"

Merle rubbed his chin. He wanted to kill the son of a bitch. He wouldn't have minded killing every goddamn one of them. Maybe he was different, but at his core, he was still Merle Dixon and he still firmly believed they deserved to die for what they had done. Maybe he'd been out of his head up there on that roof and maybe he'd done and said some pretty fucked up shit but it hadn't been enough to cost him his life, and it almost had. He was driven to cutting off his own fucking hand to escape, which could have very well killed him. If the woman hadn't shown when he she had, he could have died. "Don't rightly know."

Daryl blew out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Look, I know what he did was fucked up, but I gotta say that he was the first one that jumped at the chance at going with me to get you down. He wasn't just gonna leave. Shane, Lori, they were all for it. For just taking off and leaving you up there. But a few of them, Rick and T-dog, they wanted to go. Hell, they refused to stay behind. And they could have."

Merle scowled. "You think that means shit to me? Like I'm suppose to have some fuckin' respect for that piece of shit just because he got back to camp and then grew a conscience? You know me better than that, little brother."

Daryl met his eyes then. "So what the fuck are we gonna do if we don't join back up with that group?"

Merle shook his head. "Is that what you were plannin'? Joining back up with them? You know what they think of us."

"You rather have that woman out on the road with just us then?"

"The more people we're with, the more goddamn mouths there are to feed. That's more noise. More worries. You think we couldn't make it? The five of us, plus the girl. She's a smart little fucker with an itch to learn to kill. We'll be fine."

Daryl snorted. "It'd just be me, you and your woman, Merle. Your Woodbury friend is gonna go with the others and Carol's gonna do the same."

Merle was a little bit surprised to hear this. "Look, man. I was just fuckin' with you. Martinez wouldn't try to steal your woman or anything. Hell, it wouldn't do him any good to even try. She ain't the type."

Daryl shook his head. "Jesus, she ain't my goddamn woman! She's got a kid to look after. We were stuck with each other cause we had kin to find. We found them. She's gonna do what she has to do to keep that girl safe. The more people are around, the more people can help her do just that. We ain't got any fuckin' ties so I already know she's out."

Damn. He wasn't sure why but he'd kind of been hoping that... He shook the thought. What the hell was he thinking? He had his brother back. Maddy was breathing. As long as he had those two then he was good to go. He didn't give a goddamn what was going on with his brother and that woman, as long as Daryl was leaving with him in the long run. That was what counted. But he realized then that Sophia had become something else that he spent a lot of time worrying about. "You think that group could keep her safe? Don't look like they done a good job of it when she got lost in the first damn place."

Daryl rubbed the back of his neck. "That don't mean anything. It wouldn't happen again."

Merle snorted. "And why is that?"

Daryl shrugged nonchalantly but Merle didn't miss the tension in his shoulders. "Cause Carol ain't the same. She'll keep the girl safe herself."

"Then they'd be just fine comin' with us," Merle grumbled.

"Yeah, well, that ain't up to us. It's up to her mom."

They changed the subject again after that. Merle told him what he'd learned while he was at Woodbury and Daryl told him what they had found out at the CDC. They took out several walkers but they didn't encounter another herd.

For once, things went smoothly but Merle had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't last.


	27. Chapter 27

**This chapter is pretty much filler but I had to get it out of the way. We're getting close to the end of this one. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Twenty Seven**

Carol found herself feeling extremely awkward. She wasn't used to a lot of conversation. For God's sake, she had been unable to talk to anyone other than Daryl Dixon for a while and he wasn't a talker. It was okay to be quiet around him because he appreciated silence. Martinez, however, seemed more at ease with mild conversation and she was finding it hard not to snap at him to just be quiet.

"Have you known these men for very long?" He asked after a thirty seconds of silence.

She shrugged. "My perception of time is a little warped lately. I feel like I've known Daryl for years. Merle, not so much."

"Sophia, that's your daughter's name?" He asked.

Carol nodded, her eyes scanning the lot.

"She's a hell of a kid. She's smart and she's tough," he said, following suit and keeping watch over their surroundings.

She had no choice but to smile at that, an endless well of pride swelling in her chest. "I thought she was gone. Daryl tried to tell me over and over that she could be out there and he'd find her but, looking back on it, I never truly believed that. Not really. I wanted too and sometimes he was damn convincing but... I didn't want to get my hopes too high. That's a dangerous thing." That was a mouthful. The most she had said to him since going on watch.

Martinez smiled at that but Carol could see a measure of sadness in his eyes. "You're a lucky woman. Merle's brother seems... well, he seems like an asshole, but not as bad as Merle. But for him to keep trying like that, he's probably a damn good man on the inside. I wasn't as lucky as you. I lost my girls and my wife."

She felt for the man. She knew that pain. Had lived that pain herself and she didn't wish it on anyone. "I'm sorry," she said, hoping that he understood just how much she truly meant it.

He nodded but didn't say anything else about it. "Maybe things will turn around once we meet back up with your old group."

She nodded. "They're nothing like the men at Woodbury. I think you'll fit in much better with them. There are good people in that group."

Martinez nodded and finally, to Carol's relief, fell into silence.

~H~

Maddy woke up to a horrible pain in her shoulder and upper chest and for a moment wasn't sure what had happened. When it all came back to her she tried to sit up but winced. The room was dark but someone was with her. There was a heavy arm around her waist, warm and familiar. "Merle?" She whispered.

He muttered something unintelligible and she felt him sit up. "How you feelin'?" He mumbled sleepily.

She tried to sit up again, this time not giving up until she was sitting there in the dark even though the pain made her head spin. "It hurts but I think I'll live." She didn't really remember much about when she had came to. She knew that they had all made it out alive and she knew that she had taken a bullet but everything seemed so hazy. "How is everyone? Was anyone else hurt?"

"No, but when you get healed up I'm beatin' your goddamn ass. Why the fuck would you do something so goddamn stupid? You coulda died." His voice was low but carried a lot of anger.

"So could you! I wasn't going to just sit back and let him kill you. And he was going to!" She hissed, wincing when she tried to turn towards him. She felt like she'd been kicked in the shoulder by a pissed off Clydesdale.

"So instead I had to stand there and watch him kill you? I had it under control, Maddy," he grumbled.

She snorted despite the pain. "Oh did you? Because it looked to me like you were a sitting duck! Don't you dare try to make me feel bad for coming back for you! And you didn't watch him kill me. I'm alive enough to have to listen to your crap."

"You didn't have to do that!" he snapped. "And just because getting your idiot self shot didn't kill you don't mean that you can't set up infection and die anyhow! If you'd given me a minute then-"

"If I'd given you a minute I'd be burying you right now you big dumb asshole!" She hissed.

"Can you two shut the fuck up? Some people wanna sleep," Daryl growled from the other side of the room.

Maddy eased herself back down and forced her body to relax. He laid back down next to her and she wanted to scoot away from him but she couldn't. Instead she glared in his general direction and hoped he could feel it. She was surprised when she felt him move closer, rolling onto his side. Her anger dissolved when his hand went to her hip, far away from the wound in her shoulder, and his nose skimmed her jaw until his lips found hers.

She realized with a start why he was acting so angry. He was afraid. He'd thought that he'd lost her and he couldn't hide it in the desperate way he was kissing her now. She wanted to raised her arm so she could pull him closer but it simply hurt too much. He was so good at hiding it but he cared more than he would ever admit. Maybe someday he would be able to tell her but she wasn't so sure. Sometimes he was like an open book and other times he was like a puzzle that was missing a lot of pieces. Just when she thought she had him figured out, he would do or say something that had her reevaluating everything she thought about him.

"I'm not sorry," she whispered when he finally pulled away.

He growled low in his throat but didn't say anything else about it. "I need to go talk to Martinez and my brother's new found fuck buddy and figure out the plan."

"Your brother's what?" Sophia asked from the back of the room.

Maddy slapped him lightly with her good arm.

Daryl groaned. "Jesus Christ, Merle. Shut the hell up!"

Merle chuckled and before Maddy could do anything to stop him he went on. "Your mom and my little brother here likes to take off their clothes and talk about grown folk stuff, kid. No big deal."

"Gross!" Sophia hissed. "Shut up, Merle."

"Are you fuckin' serious!" Daryl barked. "I swear to God if I could see, I'd stab you right now!"

Maddy shook her head. "Stop it, Merle! What in the world is wrong with you?"

"He's a fuckin' bastard," Daryl grumbled.

Merle sighed. "My little brother here's just shy."

"I hate you," Daryl growled on his way towards the door. "I don't even know why the hell I went lookin' for you."

Maddy was scowling in the dark. "Really, Merle. How many times do I have to tell you that she's a child and you need to watch what you say?"

Daryl scoffed. "No shit. Listen to your _wife_ , Merle."

Maddy felt her face flush as Merle cursed under his breath.

Merle sat up and then pushed himself up off the floor. "I hope Martinez has done put it to your woman and I hope he showed her a way better thrill than you were able too you little smart mouthed fucker."

"Stop it you two!" Maddy said, her voice full of frustration because she wanted nothing more than to get up but she couldn't find the strength to push herself. Her head was swimming already. She had wondered what Merle's brother would be like but she had never been expecting this. They acted like children. Sophia was giggling, forcing Maddy's scowl to deepen. "Good grief," she said to herself.

~H~

Merle left Maddy and Sophia inside, following his brother out the door. Carol and Martinez were standing much like him and Daryl had been standing. One on each side of the door. The sun was just breaking over the horizon. He shoved his hands into his jacket and watched as his brother looked the woman over before sliding his gaze towards Martinez. Merle fought to hide the smug grin when Daryl's eyes narrowed.

"How did it go?" Merle asked, getting the woman's attention before Daryl could say anything to her.

Carol shrugged. "Took down a couple of stragglers but that was about it. We thought we heard a few shots about an hour ago but we couldn't really tell."

Martinez nodded. "Wherever they were coming from, they were pretty far off."

"Woodbury?" Merle asked, his jaw clenching. He hated to think that there were people out there searching for them.

Carol shook her head. "Opposite direction from what I could tell."

Merle was about to ask them what their plans were once Officer Friendly and his band of merry men showed up but the sound of a vehicle barreling down the street had him looking up sharply. The rest of the guns were inside and Merle expected all of them to head towards the door but Carol grabbed his arm.

"Let me have your rifle, Martinez, give Daryl yours. You two go inside and we'll cover the door from either side of the building. We don't know if this is Rick," she said quickly.

Merle looked at Daryl but he nodded sharply and then took the gun that Martinez handed him. Merle gave Carol his and then gripped the handle on the door.

Daryl met Carol's eyes. "Stay safe."

She smiled, not a trace of fear in her gaze. "You know it."

With that the two of them took off in opposite directions and Merle and Martinez slipped back inside.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

Merle hadn't had time to argue because whoever was coming was coming damn fast. He'd just taken orders from a fucking woman. A woman. One that he didn't even know. But as the sounds of the engine grew louder he didn't regret listening to her because if he'd been out there, he'd have been distracted and worried and he didn't need that. At least if he was inside, he could protect Sophia and he could protect Maddy. He didn't really trust anyone else with the task. Especially not Martinez, who he still didn't trust and probably never would.

"Where's my mom?" Sophia asked, coming up behind him and nearly giving him a fucking heart attack.

"She's coverin' us from the side. Somebody was barreling down the street and we need to keep low in here till they give the go ahead to come on out. Could be Rick and the other assholes from your group, but till we're sure we need to keep our asses out of sight."

"They aren't my group," Sophia said, her voice hard.

He glanced over his shoulder and was surprised to see her jaw set in anger. From the dim light from one flickering candle on the counter, he saw a glint in her eyes. "Well, they're your mama's group and since you're gonna head back with her then that makes them your group too."

"Rick left me. He shoved me under some roots to hide me from some walkers and then he just left me alone. He isn't my group. You and Maddy are my group."

"She's right," Maddy said, standing up slowly. "We need to stick together."

Merle scoffed. "We are sticking together, but she's going back with her mama."

"You're insane!" Maddy hissed. "Your brother is going wherever Carol goes!"

Merle was about to say something but suddenly he heard the gravel crunching in the parking lot. Martinez shoved a rifle into his hands and then Merle met Maddy's eyes. He put his finger to his lips and she nodded, taking a pistol from the man since her shoulder was a mess and she couldn't use one of the higher powered guns.

He listened carefully and the silence in the room seemed loud in his ears. The fact that there were no shots fired yet didn't ease his nerves at all. His brother and Carol could have just been biding their time. Less than a minute passed and his hand was itching to open the door and see what the fuck was going on. He was so damn jumpy that when the door opened up he nearly blew his brother's damn fool head off.

"It's them," Daryl said quickly, opening the door wide so Martinez could step through. Merle noticed that Daryl's eyes narrowed on the man before they flicked back up to meet Merle's. "Shut up," he muttered.

Merle chuckled lightly and turned to urge Sophia and Maddy out but Sophia was already flying past him, launching herself at her mom, nearly knocking her into the Green Hyundai that they had driven in. Maddy stopped next to him, watching the little girl with a small smile before she turned to face him. She met his eyes squarely.

"What did you mean? Why wouldn't we go with this group?" She asked, keeping her voice quiet.

Merle snorted. "Are you forgetting where you found me? You think I wanna share the same damn air as these sons of bitches?"

She ran a hand through her hair and glanced out into the parking lot. Merle followed her gaze and scowled when he saw Daryl standing with Rick making small talk. He hated that mother fucker. "Merle, listen to me," she said, reaching up and forcing him to look at her. "I... I care about you. So much. But you can be-" Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

His scowl deepened. "I can be what?"

She blew out a breath. "Well, you can be a real bastard. I mean, a complete and total asshole. And maybe, there's a possibility that they didn't really have much choice but to restrain you. I'm not saying they should have left you there. Hell, even I hate them for doing that, but what happened? Why would they cuff you in the first place?"

He glared at her. "Are you fuckin' serious right now?" He couldn't fucking believe she was saying this to him!

She bit her lip. "I told you what I thought. It wasn't right, leaving you like that. I saw what kind of shape you were in, but you have to-"

"No buts. You know what? You can go fuck yourself, _Madison_ ," he sneered, her name spilling out of his mouth like it tasted bad.

"Ma'am, is he bothering you?"

Merle and Maddy looked up at the same time and Merle was so mad he could have spit. Right in this mother fuckers eye. "Mind your own goddamn business you high and mighty fuck," he snapped, unable to believe that Rick was already starting his shit. Maybe Merle was clean now, and he didn't have that incredible rage that he was known to fly into when he was messed up on the hard shit, but he would blow this cock suckers head off right in front of the rest of them.

"Are you the one that cuffed him to that roof and then left him to die?" Maddy snapped, no longer sounding like she thought Merle may have brought all of that on himself.

Rick put is hands up and took a step back, his eyes wide. "We went back-"

"Shut up," Maddy snapped. "You can put a pretty bow on a pile of crap, mister, but it's still just a pile of crap. How dare you treat a man like he's no better than a rabid animal!"

Rick looked between them and even Merle was staring wide eyed at her. Rick cleared his throat. "Funny you should say that because a rabid animal is exactly what he was acting like that day. We went back to get him down but there was no sign of him. Ask Daryl."

"Blow it out your ass," Maddy growled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I was having a private conversation here. If he was bothering me, trust me, I can handle him all on my own. I don't need you sticking your big fat face in our personal business."

Merle barked out a laugh and Rick looked at him sharply. "You heard the lady, Dick face. Walk your bow legged ass on over there where someone might just be impressed with you."

Rick looked very much like he wanted to swing at him. Merle hoped he would. Up on that roof he'd knocked Rick right on his ass. The only reason Rick got the drop on him was because he hit him in the back of the head with a gun. That shit wouldn't fly now. Instead he gave Maddy one last curious look and then walked away.

Merle remembered then that he was still pissed off at her.

"Can you believe that guy?" Maddy grumbled, staring after Rick.

Merle had known that she had a little spunk cause she threw it at him all the time, but there was something about her snapping at Rick like that that had him seeing her in a different light. Even after taking a bullet, she still had some sass in her ass. He chuckled. Then he remembered that she had just been blaming him for getting cuffed on the roof. He found himself scowling again as her eyes came back up to meet his.

"You know what? Never mind. Even if you had been the biggest piece of crap in the world, he had no right to do that to you," she muttered angrily.

"I might have been out of sorts up there," he said, gauging her reaction just out of curiosity. "Maybe I earned what I got."

She grimaced and glared towards Rick and the few others that had come with him. "To hell with that. You deserved better, no matter how you were acting." Without another word she slipped her hand into his and pulled him towards the others. He surprised himself when he didn't even feel the need to pull away from her.

~H~

Daryl was waiting for someone to ask but he wasn't sure what to say when someone finally did. He had talked a good game to his brother but the truth was, he didn't like the thought of just leaving Carol with Rick and the others and taking off. It wasn't that he thought she was his or anything but all that time that it was just the two of them, he had grown to genuinely like her. She was a damn good friend and he cared about her. He cared about her a whole fucking lot actually.

Merle would have scoffed at all of that though. Somehow the bastard had just known that the two of them had slept together and started his shit as soon as he had the chance.

"Well," Rick said, glancing towards Merle and the woman that had just torn him a new asshole. "We've spent the last few days in a ran down house about fifteen miles from here. It's boarded up and as safe as it can be. There's plenty of room anyway."

Daryl and Merle shared a look but it was someone else who spoke up, surprising him.

"We don't even know if we're going with you."

Everyone looked down at the little girl that was clinging to Carol's hand. Rick, Glenn and T-dog smiled indulgently but the girl looked like she was dead serious. Rick looked to Carol for help but Carol was looking at Sophia.

"What do you mean, honey? Of course we're going with them."

Sophia shook her head. "Merle isn't. Maddy and Daryl aren't. I don't want to go anywhere without them."

Carol opened her mouth but then shut it again, her eyes coming up and locking onto Daryl's. He looked away quickly. The kid just threw him under the bus. And now things were going to come to a head right here in front of everyone. But he hadn't had a chance to talk to her yet. He hadn't had the chance to really even think about what he actually wanted to do. He was sliding right back into letting Merle make decisions for him.

"Can I talk to you?" Carol asked, her voice a strange mixture of shock and hurt.

He blew out a breath and finally met her eyes, the others were silent but he noticed that Merle's woman was smiling. He narrowed his eyes at her and she returned the cold look. Leave it up to Merle to pick a woman that was an asshole just like him.

The others watched curiously as the two of them walked away. He could feel their eyes on them and he fucking hated it already. Instead of stopping in front of the building away from the others he kept going. He wasn't putting on a show for these asses. She followed him around the side of the building and then looked at him expectantly.

He sighed. "Merle ain't too keen on stayin' with Rick's group."

Carol nodded. "I can understand that. I just thought maybe..."

He stood there like a dipshit, not saying a word even though it was obvious that she wasn't sure what to say either.

"I guess I thought maybe you would talk him into it. Sophia seems to think that her and I have an invite to go with you."

He watched her. "What do you want to do?"

She shrugged and glanced past him, lowering her eyes briefly before bringing them back up. She smiled slightly. "I was hoping to have at least one more chance to convince you to stick around for a while."

His brows pulled together. "What?"

She laughed softly and then his face reddened, once he realized what she was talking about. "Stop it," he muttered, knowing he looked like a fucking idiot but there wasn't anything he could do about it. She sure as fuck wasn't the only one wishing for one more chance to do that.

"Daryl?" Her voice was quiet but he heard an understanding there that had him looking up. "Thank you. For leaving with me and especially for trying so hard to find Sophia. I want you to do what you want to do without worrying about anyone else. I'm a lot stronger than I was and me and Sophia will be just fine. But there's just more people that have Rick's back and I feel like more people means more protection for all of us. I have to do what is right for Sophia, even if she doesn't want to. But, and I'm just throwing this out there, I really wish you would think about coming with us. Merle, he'll find a way to get along with the rest of them. Just don't let either one of us make a decision for you. For once, do what's right for you and not someone else."

He swallowed hard, wondering if his life would ever be that easy. Wondering if he'd ever find it in himself to fight his brother and do something for himself for once. Because he knew what he wanted to do. He knew exactly where he wanted to go. But there was always something in the way. And that something was... Merle. Merle made the decisions.

Not this time.

He grabbed her hand quickly and started pulling her around the side of the building, storming towards the others. Merle looked up and then did a double take. Rick's brows were raised and T-dog and Glenn shared knowing looks. He didn't look at Carol because he'd possibly lose his nerve but he did drop her hand when they made it to the others. She looked up at him curiously.

Merle opened his mouth to say something but Daryl shook his head, cutting him off before he could say anything. "We're goin' back with them. Strength in numbers and you know it, Merle. You're woman is all fucked up and this is the smartest move."

Merle gaped at him and he looked down at Maddy. She grinned. "I told you he wasn't leaving her," the woman said triumphantly.

Daryl's teeth clenched at that but then Merle looked up, his eyes going from Daryl back to Carol and then he kicked rocks, sending them flying towards all of them.

"This is just goddamn great. You picked a fine fuckin' time for nuts to finally drop you little fucker."

Daryl felt relief wash over him then. He thought he would have to spend the next hour talking sense into his damn brother.

"Well, let's get back and figure out our next move," Glenn said suddenly.

Merle was still grumbling when he walked past but suddenly he stopped, meeting Daryl's eyes and holding his gaze for a few long seconds before he looked at Carol. "She must be one hell of a sweet piece for you to be willin' to put up with these dumb fuckers."

Before Daryl could say a word Maddy slapped Merle in the back of the head. "Jesus, would you stop!" She cried.

Merle glared at her, rubbing his head. "When that shoulder's heeled up, I swear I'm gonna beat the hell right out of you," he grumbled.

Maddy rolled her eyes. "You're absolutely terrifying, Merle. I'm shaking in my boots."

"You goddamn will be..."

Daryl stared after them and then realized he was grinning. A full on grin that felt strange on his face. This was going to be something else. No one treated his brother like that. Ever. This woman was turning the son of a bitch into someone maybe everyone else would be able to stand.

He just wouldn't hold his breath.


	29. Chapter 29

**Not much left to go for this one! I feel like the chapters are getting ridiculously boring and I hate that. It needs to be finished up. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Thanks for reading.**

 **Chapter Twenty Nine**

Maddy felt a little out of place with these people. She didn't like their self proclaimed leader and after meeting his wife, she didn't like her either. Glenn was nice and so was T-dog. She mostly stayed with Merle while everyone greeted Carol and Daryl warmly. There was no warmth for the man standing next to her.

She felt like she needed to defend him from the group, which was absurd, since Merle Dixon was perfectly capable of defending himself in any situation. Not to mention, they were probably leery of him for a reason. He had surely shown his ass many times while he was actually a part of this group.

There were candles burning and even a few lanterns, giving the large living room a soft glow. Her shoulder was aching but she didn't want to complain. Carol was trying to explain to the rest of them how everything had happened. Rick was interested in hearing more about Philip until Martinez spoke up and assured the man that Philip was dead and there really wasn't anyone left at Woodbury that would retaliate to the point of actually hunting them down.

There was an old man standing with Glenn and a pretty brunette that was hanging off his arm. She watched them as Glenn motioned towards her and Merle. The old man nodded and made his way towards them. Even he watched Merle with a wary expression, like he'd heard enough about the man to not trust him. Maddy felt her hackles rise a bit but when the old man turned towards them he had a friendly smile on his face that somehow put her at ease. Even Merle seemed to relax a little.

"I should probably take a look at that gunshot wound you have. I'm sure Carol did a fine job but infection is the thing we're most concerned with," he said, his eyes moving from her to Merle.

She studied the man for a moment before she finally spoke. "You're Hershel? I heard them mention you. Are you a doctor?" How great would it be to be a member of a group with an actual doctor?

Hershel chuckled softly and then shrugged. "The closest we have to one. I was a veterinarian."

Merle snorted. "Then she's the patient for you, Doc. She may look human and all but she's a real bi-"

"Merle Dixon, I swear if you finish that sentence..." Maddy growled, leaving her words hanging there.

He rolled his eyes. "You'll what?" He asked, a challenge in his voice. He knew that everyone was listening.

She smiled. "How about I tell this group, that seems to think of you as some sort of super villain, that you like to cuddle in your sleep."

He gaped at her and the room erupted in quiet laughter. His face turned red and he glared at her so hard she was sure his face would get stuck like that. She smiled and kissed his jaw lightly before letting the old man lead her out of the room.

Hershel motioned to a chair and she sat down, getting to work on the buttons of her shirt. He had a bag with some new first aid supplies that they had picked up on the road. He gently peeled away the shirt from her shoulder and frowned. He studied it carefully. "Well Carol certainly did a decent job for someone with no medical training but I wish we could have stitched you up. This will leave a pretty obvious scar," he said, more to himself than the Maddy.

She smiled thinly, wincing when he pressed on the tissue around the wound. "I don't think I'll mind much. I'll wear it like a badge of honor. I survived a bullet so I might as well have a little gruesome proof, right?"

Hershel smiled as he worked. "That, my dear, is a fine way of looking at things. You saved a man's life so a badge of honor is a good name for it."

"He would have done the same," she said without a doubt in her mind.

Hershel looked up then, meeting her gaze levelly. "Are you sure about that?"

She felt her eyes grow hard. "Yes, I am sure about that."

His eyebrows went up and he nodded, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly. "I've heard some of the others talk about Merle Dixon. The only two that never had anything bad to say about him was his brother and Carol, and I'm suspecting Carol didn't say much just because she's not the type."

Maddy turned his words over a few times in her head before she replied. "What makes a man a good man?" She asked, not giving him a chance to answer. "Is it how he treats the world? Is it how he carries himself or how much he sacrifices for the greater good?" She paused. "Or is it something else? How he treats the people that mean something to him. Merle Dixon doesn't give a damn about the rest of the world and I know that. He could set a fire to this house while the rest of you were sleeping and he could walk away without a backward glance and not feel a damn thing about it."

His lips thinned out in disapproval.

"But the man would make damn sure that me and his brother and Sophia were out of the fire before he closed the door. So everything that those people, the people that left him for dead, said about him is probably the damn truth. But the difference in him and them is, he doesn't try to pretend to be something that he isn't. He'll look you right in the eye and tell you he's only out for himself and the ones he loves, but the rest of you, well, you'd try to make the _world_ believe that you were better than him. You'd try to make _yourselves_ believe that you're better than him. But if it came right down to it, if Merle did set a fire, who are the two you'd pull out of it?"

"My girls. I'd make sure I saved my girls," Hershel said thoughtfully. "But, if I may, I wouldn't ever set the fire to begin with."

She smiled. "Touche."

He chuckled lightly. "You know, I have a feeling that you're a perceptive girl."

She nodded.

"And I don't think you'd believe he'd burn us all alive." He stood up and started putting his things back into the bag.

"Well, no. I don't suppose I do. I was just using that as an example." She took the pills he offered her and stood up.

~H~

Merle felt the urge to spit when Rick stared at him hard.

"Prison?" Rick asked, not sounding like he would warm up to the idea at all. "You think we should go to a prison?"

Merle shrugged, wishing that Rick wasn't the leader of this band of ass hats. Wishing he could talk to someone, anyone, else about this. "It's got fences to keep out the walkers and it's got towers. We go in, clean house, stake a claim."

"And exactly how do you know about this place?" Rick asked knowingly.

"Does that even matter?" A soft voice came from the corner of the room. Merle's eyes sought out the person that spoke up and was a little surprised that it was Carol. She was sitting away from the rest of the group, Sophia curled up next to her with her head in her lap. "The point is, it sounds like a secure place. Or at least a place we could make secure. At this point, who cares how Merle knows about it?" There wasn't a challenge in her voice. Just a hint of annoyance.

Rick eyed her for a moment and then finally blew out a heavy breath. He nodded. "You're right. We should at least check it out anyway."

Merle didn't comment. He'd rather it just be him and his own group going but he knew that, for whatever reasons, Daryl wasn't leaving these bunch of assholes. So he would be stuck with them. That was okay though because he had plans on making sure Rick knew he wasn't Merle's leader. As far as Merle was concerned, Rick was so far below him that he barely registered on the human scale.

Rick nodded. "We'll work out a plan and head out in the morning if that's okay with the rest of you," he said, sounding like he added that last part just to keep a little peace.

Merle looked up when the door to the room Maddy disappeared through with Hershel opened up. She was wearing a different shirt that wasn't blood soaked and she looked like she felt a little better anyway. He was still pissed at her for the barb from earlier but he couldn't lie and say he wasn't relieved that Hershel seemed to think she'd be okay.

"So what did I miss?" She asked, following him to a small room off the living room. It had no door but any privacy was better than none and the house wasn't all that big. It also had a small sofa in it that looked too inviting to pass up.

He shrugged and sat down. "We're gonna leave here in the mornin' and check out a prison." He stretched his legs out and folded his hands behind his head. "Don't sound like much but it'll be somethin' that's already reinforced. Officer friendly seems to agree and so do the others so I guess that's our next stop." He watched her.

She sat down next to him, favoring her shoulder. "You hate this group, I get that, but you're doing the right thing," she said, meeting his eyes and smiling.

He grunted and looked away. "These people are fuckin' idiots. They'll fuck up and get people killed. You can bet that. You keep your smart mouthed ass close."

"And by _they_ what you really mean is Rick?" She asked.

He glanced at her then. "Pretty much. The people here are stupid enough to depend on him and he's arrogant enough to think he knows what's best for everybody else. I'm gonna give this a shot but if he starts makin' bad calls, we're out."

She nodded. "I know. I just think we should give it a shot. Your brother was right. Strength in numbers"

Merle snorted. "My brother is thinkin' with his dick." And as far as he was concerned it was about damn time.

"No he isn't. He's thinking with his heart," she argued quietly.

"Oh God. Now you're thinkin' with your ovaries."

She laughed and the sound had him grinning despite himself.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

Merle looked out at the walkers that littered the prison yard, his brows pulling together. There were enough of them to dispatch the ones out here but what concerned him the most were the ones that weren't visible. There were sure to be a lot of walkers behind those walls and he wasn't too keen on barging in blind. Rick's voice broke through his thoughts, barking orders and thinking up a plan for the best way to go about getting to the doors.

"Then what? What the hell are you gonna do if two hundred of those things start pouring out of the prison?" Merle asked, his voice scathing.

Rick eyed him but his expression was neutral. "There's bound to be walkers in there but what I'm hoping is a lot of them re gonna be behind bars. There's guards we would have to worry about but I think the majority of them won't be just wondering around on the inside."

"There probably ain't a breech," Daryl said suddenly, drawing the attention of the rest of the group.

Merle's eyes followed his and cursed himself for missing something so obvious. The people walking around in the yard were all guards and inmates. If there was a breech somewhere in the structure there would have been a lot of regular folk in there and the only reason for them to be there would have been because they had gotten in after the outbreak. This was a real good sign so far.

"Good eye," Rick said, earning an exaggerated eye roll from the elder Dixon.

Rick tried to call most of the shots but Merle conveniently intervened when the other man's strategy seemed off. Rick, ever the big hero, insisted that he should be the one to try to make it to the door to the cell block but that really didn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. There were plenty enough of them that two men could go.

"I'll go with you," Merle suggested, causing the rest of the group to share loaded looks with one another.

Maddy shook her head. "Now isn't the time to get a man killed for fun, Merle, and don't act like you wouldn't do just that. We need this place."

Merle shrugged. "Fine then. Take Enrique Iglesias with you if you don't trust me," he said, motioning towards Martinez.

Maddy shook her head but didn't comment. She looked rough but he'd expected her to. She was trying like hell to put on a brave face but it was obvious to everyone that she was in some pain. He wanted to hurry the hell up and get this place secure so she could take it easy.

It was decided that Maddy would stay secure behind the fence with Lori and the three kids while the others would spread out along the fence line. Lori was basically useless even when she wasn't knocked up and the kids didn't have much ore to offer. Maddy was going to be useless till her damn shoulder healed up. It was decided that Daryl and Carol would take one tower and Merle and Glenn would take the other.

"I'm not that good yet," Carol said, speaking low so only Daryl could hear, or so she thought.

Daryl snorted. "You're a lot better than some. Just aim and shoot, like I told you."

Merle knew that they didn't know he was listening to them.

She sighed. "You're gonna regret agreeing to this when I end up shooting Rick instead."

"Least then you'll have a fan. I think my brother wants to shoot him anyway. If you do it yourself he'll throw a damn party in your honor."

Merle laughed.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Carol said dryly.

The two of them walked away, walking close enough so their arms were brushing. Merle shook his head and glanced at Maddy. She was pale, her eyes a little glassy either from the pain or the meds that the Doc had been feeding her. She tried to offer him a reassuring smile. "You aren't going to shoot Rick, are you?"

He shrugged. "No worries. I wouldn't kill him in front of his kid."

She glanced over her shoulder at Lori and the kids. "Or the wife. She looks like a real shrieker and God knows my head is already aching. Least you can do is let him live to save me from a migraine."

He laughed and without thinking about it he leaned in and kissed her hard. "Go on over there with the rest of the useless lot and let us men clean house."

"I hate you," she grumbled, turning around to stalk off.

He slapped her ass hard and then strolled towards Glenn. Him and Maggie were watching Merle suspiciously but he ignored them both, walking right past them towards the other tower.

~H~

Maddy watched as everyone took their places. Her and Sophia took off down one side of the fence while Lori took Carl and the other girl that she hadn't officially met yet but who she knew as Hershel's youngest daughter. Their job was simple enough but for her, even this menial task was proving to be too much. Sophia whooped and banged on the fence, drawing the walkers towards them and away from the two men heading towards the other gate.

She was glad that Rick had actually given them a job to do instead of expecting them to just stand there.

"You okay?"

She looked down into Sophia's large worried eyes and tried to give her a reassuring smile. "I'm good. Just sore."

Sophia nodded but the worried look never left her face. "You don't like this group much, do you?" She asked after banging on the fence for a few more moments.

Maddy decided not to lie to the girl. "I guess after everything that happened at Woodbury, it's a little hard to trust people. Everyone else might know them from before but I'm a stranger to them."

Sophia nodded sagely. "I understand that. They kind of feel like strangers to me too. I don't know the Greene's but Hershel seems real nice."

Maddy nodded. "He does. You think we can trust him?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

Sophia laughed. "I think so. My mom and Daryl seem to think they're okay."

Maddy glanced up at the tower at the pair. She genuinely liked Carol but Merle's brother was another story. She wasn't sure if she was going to get along with him. He didn't seem very interested in befriending her anyway. The only people he really talked to at all were Merle and Carol. He was friendly enough with the rest of the group when they had shown up the day before but all in all, he just seemed to be a loner. Where Merle seemed to strive to bring attention to himself, his little brother seemed to be more comfortable in the shadows. "I don't think Daryl likes me," she said to the girl.

Sophia shrugged. "I don't think he likes me either but my mom seems to like _him_ an awful lot."

Maddy grinned, "So it seems."

"And he seems to like her right back."

Maddy glanced down. "Is that a bad thing?"

Sophia shrugged and then got back to work, banging on the fence and calling out to the walkers. Maddy mostly followed along. She felt like she needed to sleep already and it was barely evening. The blood loss she had suffered was still affecting her.

~H~

Merle looked out over the yard and grinned. There were walkers lying all over the place but no more could get through. The two men down below managed to get the other gate secured so at least they would be able to get some actual rest tonight. Tomorrow they would go inside and try cleaning out a cell block.

"I'm heading down," Glenn muttered, stepping past him.

Merle kept his eyes on the yard and then on the prison beyond before finally looking down, settling on the group that was starting to band together after their feat. He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out the dynamics. Hershel, who was an okay guy in Merle's book, stayed close to Glenn and his woman and the blonde girl clung to the old man constantly. Then there was Rick and his wife and son. There was something going on there. It was the way the man carried himself when he was close to the woman. He was tense. T-dog was with them, talking to the woman. He thought her name was Lori but he couldn't really remember.

Maddy was alone, leaning heavily against the fence but his brother and Carol and the girl were close to her. He didn't like the idea of becoming a part of these people's lives. He wanted nothing to do with them really, but he had other people to think about. He had other people to keep safe. He hated the feeling. It left a heaviness in a chest. A fear of failure that he wasn't accustomed to.

Daryl looked up then, throwing his arm up and motioning for Merle to climb his ass down. Even from here he could tell the boy was smiling. It was a rare thing and damn welcome to see. Hopefully it would prove to be worth it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello! Just a reminder, not as much time has passed in this story. They found the prison a little earlier and things are different. There aren't going to be as many walkers as there was in the show because the back of the prison is still intact. Most of the walkers inside are inmates and guards. The first part of this chapter is Caryl heavy. Just a heads up.**

 **Chapter Thirty One**

Carol looked around at the faces of the group that were gathered around the fire. Merle was leaning back on his arms, the flames reflecting in his blue eyes and giving him an almost demonic look. His face was almost relaxed, however. It wasn't a look she would normally associate with the man. At the quarry there was never a moment that she remembered seeing him relax. There was a constant tension in his body and his features that gave him a hard, unapproachable look.

But now that look was dimmed. Maddy was curled up next to him, her head in his lap and Sophia was actually with the other woman, sleeping peacefully beside her. Carol smiled to herself, thankful, not for the first time, that the woman had found her daughter, and then had kept her safe during their time at Woodbury. Not to mention that Carol knew that this new, less intense Merle, was the result of Maddy's presence. That was going to make everyone's life a lot easier.

Rick was walking the fence again, like he knew there was a breach that they hadn't yet discovered. A part of her wanted to go to him and talk, make sure that he was okay, but she didn't. Instead her eyes went to the bus that Daryl had climbed on top of a while ago. He hadn't even eaten anything yet and she knew he wouldn't until he knew the rest of them had had their fill.

She was thankful they had any food at all but she wished there were more left over. She took the last of the stew and headed towards the bus. A quick glance over her shoulder insured that no one even noticed she'd walked away. She smiled to herself.

The bus was turned over onto it's side and she started making her way up clumsily, trying to pull herself up while still holding onto the bowl. He appeared suddenly, reaching down and taking it from her and then gripping her hand to help her the rest of the way up.

Once she was standing in front of him he looked into the bowl and made a face. "Did you eat?"

She nodded. "There wasn't much but it's better than nothing." She had given most of her share to Sophia but she hadn't been too hungry anyway. She was too excited to have much of an appetite.

He gave her a skeptical look but then dug in, using his fingers to pick out the meat and potatoes. She watched him with a grin and then turned her eyes to the fence and the darkness beyond. There were a few walkers on the other side but their groaning was like white noise to her now. As long as there was something standing between them and her group, she didn't give them much thought.

"Merle ain't down there startin' any shit?" He asked, causing her to jump.

She looked up, shaking her head. "He's quiet."

"It's weird," he muttered, sitting the bowl down. "I didn't think he'd be able to keep himself from shootin' at Rick instead of the walkers. A few months ago, he'd have done it without batting an eye."

She shrugged. "I think he has other things on his mind."

He met her eyes briefly and then shoved his hands into his pockets, probably for warmth. "Like that woman?"

She nodded. "You mean, his wife? Yeah. I can't think of any other reason for him to have changed so much."

Daryl's eyes shifted to the group behind them. "Didn't think I'd ever live to see the day that Merle Dixon fell on his ass for a woman. Especially one that gave him as much shit as that one does."

"It's a good thing," she said, her voice softer now as she followed his gaze. "I used to wonder if that old saying was true. That there's someone out there for everyone. But I think maybe seeing how Merle is now, maybe there's something to it. He's still the same man. Now he's just got a purpose. Sometimes that's all we need is someone else to fight for."

He kept his eyes on the group. "You think we made the right call? Stayin' with them?"

She watched him until he finally looked at her, his eyes troubled for some reason. She offered him a small smile. "I think so."

"Yeah, me too. So long as Merle keeps his ass in check."

"I don't think he's got a choice. She'll keep him in line."

Daryl snorted but he finally smiled, shaking his head. "I think you're right. I still think he's gonna butt heads with Rick. There ain't gonna be no getting around that. Rick still seems hell bent on making every call and Merle is gonna be hell bent on putting him in his place every turn. It'll get ugly, but I think he's gonna at least try."

She snorted. "Is it bad that I somehow have more trust in your brother keeping us alive than I do the good sheriff?" She asked, unable to keep a little bit of bitterness out of her voice.

He met her eyes. "Ain't bad at all. People can think what they wanna think. Merle might be a loose cannon but he's smart. Impulsive, but smart. Rick was a cop but Merle was pretty damn serious when it came to military. He's got the guts and know how to get shit done. Ugly shit other people don't wanna do. If it comes down to pickin' a side, I'll back my brother before I'll ever back Rick Grimes."

"You and me both," she said absently, turning so the group was at her back again. She tilted her head, looking up at the wide expanse of stars overhead. "It's nice out here."

He looked up and grunted in response.

She grinned and then elbowed him lightly. "It's kinda romantic."

He gave her a dry look but didn't say anything.

She quirked one eyebrow at him and grinned, intent on teasing him. "You wanna fool around?" She wasn't really sure where they stood with each other anymore. They weren't alone. Their mission was over. What they had done back in that building could have very well been something as simple as the two of them desperately seeking comfort in the other. Now, she wasn't positive. The way he had acted, defying his brother, only confused her further. So, she was teasing him, sure, but there was a question there that she wanted answered.

He shook his head, "Stop," he mumbled, giving her a small shove towards the edge of the bus. She followed him down, feeling a little sad that their tentative physical relationship had probably ran it's course, but still happy that he still seemed to want to stay close to her.

She was shocked when her feet hit the ground and his hands were suddenly at her waist, pushing her lightly against the bus, his mouth coming down on hers hungrily. Somewhere in the distance she thought she heard people singing, but the sound was drowned out by the quickening of her pulse as his hands started working her pants open.

"Sounds like somebody's puttin' on a free concert," he muttered into her ear. "Let's hope it keeps the crowd over there for a minute."

She grinned, pushing his shirt away from his shoulders. "A minute, huh? You sure know how to talk dirty to a woman."

He laughed and she closed her eyes at the sound of it. "Yeah, well, it's hard for a guy to focus with a group of people a few feet away."

"If a minute is all I can get, I'll take it," she said, pulling his face down to hers greedily.

~H~

Merle looked up in time to see the two that had been missing come out from around the side of the bus. He suspected that they didn't realize anyone was watching because he saw his brother stop, pulling the woman back by the hand and then ducked his head, kissing her like Merle had never seen him kiss anyone in his life.

A few long moments of that and finally they broke apart but it was damn obvious that they did so reluctantly.

"Did you just fricken see that!" Sophia hissed, looking up at him with eyes the size of saucers.

He nodded and grinned. "Looks like your mom and my little brother got somethin' goin' on. We done guessed that though."

Sophia sat up, staring at the two of them, now walking a few feet apart. "I never saw my dad kiss her like that."

"I'd guess not. Your dad was a sick sack of shit."

"She's smiling."

Merle chuckled. "Course she is. She likely just had herself a damn satisfyin' ride."

Sophia looked up curiously. "What?"

Merle just shook his head. "Nothin' kid. Go on back to sleep. We got a lot of shit to do tomorrow and we're gonna start as soon as the sun comes up." He moved, situating himself behind Maddy so she was trapped between him and the girl. The two of them would do what they could to keep the woman warm. Sophia wasn't the only one worried about her. Maddy did what she always did and tried to downplay it but it was obvious that she wasn't doing too good. She was pale and drawn and he would be a damn liar if he said he wasn't worried. There was only one thing that could cause her to feel like that and that was infection. And if there was infection setting in, then things were going to get a whole lot worse.

~H~

Clearing out the cell block had been a hell of a lot easier than any of them had anticipated. They had cleared part of the tombs. It hadn't been too hard since the majority of walkers had still been locked inside the cells they had died in. After going in and clearing it all out, they broke up into two groups. Merle, Daryl, Carol and T-dog went one way and Rick took Glenn and Maggie down the shorter hall. They went through every room, checked behind every door.

Once the two groups met back up in the common room Hershel had approached Merle, his face apprehensive. "She's running a fever. The outside of the wound doesn't look too bad just yet. We need to find the infirmary. This place hasn't been touched so I'm sure everything we need will be here. The antibiotics I had to give her just wasn't strong enough. There was a lot of tissue damage in there."

Merle kept his expression clear but his stomach twisted painfully. "Think she ain't gonna make it?" He asked, his voice controlled.

Hershel nodded. "Oh she'll do just fine as long as we can get to the supplies we need. Rick mentioned that the infirmary wasn't on his end, I'm guessing you didn't run into it either?"

Merle shook his head. "We were about to clear out the walkers we killed and then go deeper."

Hershel nodded. "That shouldn't take long. Especially since the whole group will be working on it. I'd say as long as we had them before tomorrow, she'll be just fine."

Merle glanced past him, towards the cell where Maddy was sleeping. "You mind stayin' with her? I don't want her here alone while the rest of us are out there cleanin' out dead."

Hershel pursed his lips. "Lori offered to-"

Merle shook head. "She don't like her. I don't either. She likes you."

Hershel's brows went up but he finally nodded. "If it'll give you some piece of mind, I'll stay with her."

Merle nodded in thanks and then whistled for Daryl, who was standing at the top of the stairs with Sophia's mom. The two of them exchanged a loaded look and then came down, listening as Merle barked orders. "We need to haul ass with this. Get the bodies out and light'em up. We gotta find the infirmary and get Maddy some meds."

"She okay?" Carol asked worriedly.

Merle nodded stiffly and turned, stalking towards the doorway leading to the tombs. "She's fine."

The rest of the group shared a look but no one said a word, even though Rick looked as though he had plenty to say. Instead they all made their way into the dark corridor. For a while everything was okay. They all worked silent and swift. Maggie stayed close to her sister, which made Merle happy since he wasn't in the mood to be a baby sitter. That was, until the girl's piercing scream had them all turning.

They were in the shorter hall, towards the end, where Rick and his small group had been killing the walkers. Apparently they hadn't gotten to all of them. In the flurry of flashlights bouncing off the walls as the others raced towards Maggie and Beth, he saw that the girl was down, her face contorted in pain. A light shined on her leg just as Rick lifted her in his arms. There was a chunk missing.

Merle cursed. He cursed the walker and he cursed the girl that had been bitten, because this was going to slow him down and the longer it took to deal with this mess, the longer it would take for him to get to those fucking antibiotics that Hershel said Maddy needed.


	32. Chapter 32

**I'm gonna go ahead and apologize now. I may have had myself a little too much fun with this chapter. =) Who am I kidding? I'm not sorry at all. Lol Hope the rest of you can find it in yourselves to enjoy it too. Thank you for reading!**

 **Chapter Thirty Two**

Merle led the way back through the tunnels towards the kitchen, where they had the best light. Rick was carrying the girl, his hand clamped over her mouth to muffle the screams just in case there were more walkers they had conveniently missed.

"If you three woulda done your goddamn job this wouldn't have happened," he hissed as they rounded another corner.

Maggie looked up sharply. "The last thing we need right now is you running your mouth about what someone else didn't do right. You're the last person that needs to pass any judgment on anyone else."

Merle glared at the girl but didn't say anything else. Soon the stupid bitch would get to watch her little sister turn because her and the mighty Rick Grimes had fucked up. That would be satisfaction enough right there. The girl hadn't had any goddamn business in the tombs in the first place which was why Sophia and Carl had been shot down as soon as they had asked. But Maggie had shrugged when her sister had asked to help, not thinking about the consequences of a bad call.

Daryl and Glenn were the first two to burst through the kitchen doors, both of them going in low, no longer trusting that Rick and the others hadn't left more walkers. Merle's eyes scanned the room.

Rick placed the girl on a counter top, his eyes frantic as they swept over the room. "If we amputate the leg, she might not turn," he said, his voice heavy.

Merle didn't see where it had come from but suddenly there was a hatchet in his hand. Maggie backed away, covering her mouth to stifle a sob before she buried her face into Glenn's shoulder. Carol and his brother was holding the girl's legs down while T-dog gripped her shoulders. She thrashed, screaming at the top of her lungs as she tried desperately to get away.

But there was no getting away. Rick was determined to save her. Or do what he needed to do to assure himself that he'd at least _tried_ to save her. They had no idea if this would even work, but it looked like mentioning that now would have been a waste of breath. And even if she didn't turn, she was going to be left crippled in a world where only the strong were going to survive. She had been a goddamn liability to begin with! This girl's odds had been stacked against her from the start, he could tell before, just by looking at her, that she was dead weight already, weak and ineffectual, but now... now she was going to be a dead girl hopping.

He made a face at his own callous thoughts and then he winced as the hatchet came down, tearing into the flesh, the dull blade bouncing off the bone right below the knee. She screamed and Merle looked up in time to see, for the very first time in his life, a black man turn white. T-dog looked like he was about to throw up. Maggie was sobbing and Glenn looked like he was in shock. Daryl didn't look any better and when the hatchet came down again, two swift swings, Daryl turned his head into Carol's shoulder and groaned.

Finally, the leg fell away and Merle looked up in time to see five wide eyed faces pressed against the glass that separated this part of the room from the next, watching the carnage. He swung the gun around and Daryl looked up, thinking that Merle had finally had enough of the group, and yelled for him to drop the gun, assuming he was gonna blow Rick's brains out.

Rick swung around then as Maggie finally snapped out of it and started helping Carol as she went to work wrapping something around Beth Greene's stump of a leg. Rick's eyes narrowed and Merle saw him go for the revolver at his hip. That was when Daryl slammed into the man from the side, sending him sprawling.

Merle smiled smugly as Rick angrily pushed himself up to his knees. Merle nodded towards the newcomers that were still watching the events unfold and finally, the rest of the idiots saw them. Rick was on his feet, gun out and aimed right at the five inmates.

Daryl had his crossbow swung around but all the men were backing away. It was obvious that the inmates thought that a bunch of cannibals had moved in. What Merle was mostly worried about was the fact that if there were still survivors in here, then where were the others? There had to be more. And Merle had basically left Maddy and Sophia at the other end of the prison with no one to protect them other than one old man and a pregnant pterodactyl. Jesus they needed to hurry the fuck up!

Daryl and Rick were now standing in front of the men and Merle could hear Rick's angry voice as he barked at them. Daryl stayed close, that bow of his trained on the one that was obviously the aggressor out of the bunch. Rick had even saw it in the man, making sure he stayed in front of him.

Glancing over his shoulder he saw that the girl had either died from shock or had passed out from the pain. Carol was still trying to stop the bleeding and Maggie was backing away slowly. Glenn looked up at Merle then, a cold look in his eyes. Merle matched it and Glenn looked away, pulling Maggie closer.

With a weary sigh Merle approached the group. Rick looked at him, nodding to the men. "Merle, this is Tomas, Andrew, Oscar, Axel and Big Tiny. Guards shoved them in here when all hell broke loose. They've been locked up a few months."

Merle eyed the men. Daryl's jaw was clenched tight. Tomas gave Merle a bad vibe. Before, he'd have been the type that Merle could have possibly befriended but now, now he just gave him the feeling that if he stayed around, he was going to do everything he could to take away what they had here.

Tomas moved his head, looking past Rick and then he smiled thinly. "You all have women? Been a long time since I've had the pleasure of being around one of those."

Merle glanced over his shoulder when he saw Daryl's eyes harden. Carol was there, still working over Beth, leaning over the girl. The neck of her shirt was low cut and where she bent slightly everyone had an ample view of cleavage. "Uh oh," Merle muttered.

A loud crack had him turning just as Tomas hit the floor. Rick jumped back, clearly startled when the other man collapsed. Daryl was staring down at him, his jaw clenched hard and Merle knew then that the boy was thinking about killing the man since he'd just cracked his cranium open with the crossbow. Andrew bent down quickly, grabbing a pistol that Merle hadn't even noticed until now, and backing up, aiming it at Daryl.

"Now just calm down!" Rick yelled. The other three inmates held up their hands and backed away from the drama, wanting nothing to do with anything going on here.

Merle wasn't going to give Rick time to fuck this up. Ignoring his own rifle strapped to his back he reached out, twisting the revolver out of Rick's hand while Andrew still had Daryl in his sights. Without thinking twice Merle shot Andrew in the face. He dropped like a stone. For good measure, Merle aimed the gun at the back of Tomas's head and shot him too.

"What the hell are you doing!" Rick roared.

Merle handed him the gun back with a shrug. "Takin' out the trash. Makes your job a lot easier, don't you think?" He walked away then, feeling better about the other three inmates.

~H~

Maddy was scared. She tried to squash it by telling herself that she was going to be fine but she didn't feel like that was true. She felt like she was freezing to death but Hershel had assured her that she wasn't. In fact, her temperature was nearly one hundred and four degrees. Her body ached like she had the flu and she had vomited twice, apologizing to the old man that held the bucket for her.

Her shoulder burned and ached, her head hurt. She felt like she was going to die and she desperately prayed that she wouldn't. There was so much to do still. They had possibly found a home. She had lost her sisters but she had gained something else. Sophia hovered over her, ignoring the boy that kept trying to take her mind off of things.

"Sophia," Maddy said, trying hard to put as much strength into her voice as she could.

The girl looked up from the chair she had been sitting in for what seemed like hours. "Do you need me to get Hershel?" She asked, getting up and hurrying over to the bunk.

Maddy shook her head. "No but I need you to get the hell out of here." She smiled thinly. "Your friend has been trying to get you to hang out and you won't leave this room. It's depressing."

Sophia shook her head. "You're my friend too. It doesn't bother me to help."

"Merle should be back soon. I want you to go have as much fun as you can manage in a prison."

Sophia shook her head and sat down on the bunk. "Are you going to be okay?" She asked, not pretending to be amused in the least.

Maddy was about to tell her that she was going to be fine, but the truth was, she couldn't bring herself to lie to the girl. "I'm not sure. Maybe the others will be able to find those meds Hershel needs me to take. And if not, well, I've had a pretty good run so I'm not going to feel sorry for myself."

Sophia shook her head. "Merle isn't gonna let anything happen to you. And he's Merle. He gets what he wants no matter what because he's a big stubborn jackass. You're gonna make it."

Maddy didn't have to force a smile this time. It came easily. "Isn't he though?" She rolled her eyes.

"He loves you," Sophia said, staring at the wall now.

Maddy snorted. "He cares. That's obvious, but I'm not too sure Merle Dixon is capable of something like love. You'll understand when you're older."

"I think I get it now," Sophia said, the corner of her mouth turning up.

Maddy shook her head and stared up at the bunk. She was going to try to convince the girl to go again but suddenly there was a racket coming from the common room. Voices shouting and doors banging and an obvious flurry of movement. Soon the sounds of a feminine scream could be heard.

"Shit!" Sophia hissed as she jumped off the bed. She grabbed the pistol that Daryl had given her and then slammed the cell door closed, backing away from it quickly. She glanced over her shoulder. "Don't worry. If there's walkers, they can't get to us."

Maddy just nodded, feeling nausea swirl in her empty stomach but she swallowed it down, along with the fear.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three**

Maddy pushed herself up to a sitting position when Merle and Carol stepped in front of the bars. Sophia instantly dropped her arm to her side, nodding to them. "Go get the keys. I thought there were walkers so I shut the door," she said quickly.

Carol nodded to the girl and took off while Merle stood there, his eyes meeting Maddy's. "What's happening out there?" She asked as his expression turned to one filled with worry.

He shrugged. "Hershel's kid got bit so Rick chopped off her leg and I shot two men in the head. Other than that, all went pretty damn smooth if I don't say so myself." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle, shaking it. "Got what I went out for anyhow."

Maddy sat there with her mouth hanging open. "Maggie got bit?"

Merle shook his head and stepped back when Carol went to unlock the door. "Nah, the other one. Didn't have no damn business back there anyhow but nobody wants to listen to anything," he grumbled.

Maddy felt horrible. "Did it work? Is she going to turn?"

"Hell if I know." Merle hurried into the cell then, sat down on the side of the bunk and shook out two pills, handing them to her with a bottle of water. She took them and then he handed her two more. "These are for the pain, and don't try to act like you ain't in any either cause I can tell by the look on your face," he muttered.

She took them without question, trusting that he wouldn't give her anything unless it was going to make her better. "I wish I could help," she said sadly.

"There isn't anything you could do," Carol said quietly, her hand going to Maddy's brow. "We'll know in a few hours if cutting off her leg actually did anything to stop her from turning. It was actually really smart thinking on Rick's part. If he hadn't thought of doing that then we'd definitely be putting her down soon."

Maddy glanced at Merle then, her heart aching for the old man, Hershel, who had been so kind to her, and the girl who, if she did survive, would never be the same after this. Her eyes slid over to Sophia and she smiled slightly. "Will you go now? I'm not alone and God knows you don't need to hear much more that'll end up coming out of Merle's mouth." She was secretly grateful that it at least hadn't been Sophia out in those tombs.

Sophia nodded, gave her one more worried look and then went to scurry out of the cell.

"Oomph," Daryl's breath shot out of his lungs as Sophia crashed right into him.

The girl's eyes widened and she backed up until her back hit the wall, a fearful look in her eyes that had Maddy frowning. "I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was-" Her voice cut off and she swallowed hard, clearly terrified, though Maddy had no idea why.

Daryl looked confused and then Maddy saw something change in his eyes, like something dawned on him then. He glanced at Carol but she was looking at her daughter worriedly. Daryl cleared his throat. "Not a big deal, kid," he muttered, moving so Sophia had room to slip out.

Merle was watching too as Daryl watched the girl high tail it away.

"What was that about?" Maddy asked, concern for Sophia causing her to not care much that whatever just happened wasn't any of her concern.

Daryl shrugged, his eyes on the doorway that Sophia had slipped through.

It was Merle, of course, who had an answer. "She saw you two last night."

Daryl's head whipped around, his eyes wider than Maddy had ever seen them and Carol covered her mouth with her hand.

Merle snorted. "She didn't see you puttin' it to her mom. She saw you two come out from behind that bus all friendly like. She probably thinks that you're gonna pull the same type of shit her daddy pulled." He shrugged. "She don't know any better. I ain't gonna try to act like I know what goes on in a kids head but it makes sense."

Daryl leaned against the bars, his feet crossing at the ankles and his thumbnail caught between his teeth as he stared off at nothing, his eyes troubled.

"I should go talk to her," Carol muttered, glancing over her shoulder and offering Maddy a small smile. "You work on getting back on your feet, and don't worry about anything."

Maddy smiled back, nodding before she laid back onto the pillows, feeling drained and strangely sleepy. "No problem there. I feel like I could sleep for a month."

Merle grinned. "Cause one of those pills was a sedative. You're welcome."

Daryl slipped out of the cell then, leaving them alone. She scowled. "You drugged me?"

He nodded. "Hell yeah. I knew you'd make up some bullshit excuse not to take it so I thought I'd help you out."

She sighed heavily and glanced at the door. "Will you stay with me since you drugged me?"

He pushed himself away from the wall and stripped out of his filthy shirt. "Why the hell you think I drugged you for? You're health? You pass out and I get free reign to do whatever I want with your corpse, darlin'."

She glared at him. "You're disgusting."

He crawled in next to her, stretching out on his back and folding his arms behind his head. "Shut up. You love it."

She sighed and eased her head onto his chest. Her eyes were heavy and her mind was muddled and she wasn't about to argue with him. She knew what he was doing. Hiding his fear behind a crude wall. He didn't want her to know that he was scared in the first place and he definitely didn't want her to know that he was scared for her. It was just his way. Sleep claimed her quickly.

~H~

When her breathing evened out he eased himself away from her and then felt her forehead like Carol had done a while ago. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. She was still too warm but it was nothing like the heat coming off of her earlier. He didn't know why he still felt the need to pretend like he didn't care too much. He was sure that he wasn't fooling anybody.

This was the main reason that he hadn't wanted to care in the first place. And he wouldn't have either, if he'd been able to get his hands on some dope. A little sniff and all this fucking turmoil would go away and there wouldn't be a damn thing to worry about, least of all her. But at the moment, he didn't have much of a craving for those old vices anymore. He wasn't sure what to do without that monkey on his back. It had always been there.

He didn't want to leave her there. He wanted to stay and not leave until he knew that those damn antibiotics were working on her. He wanted to stay until he was sure that something else didn't come out of nowhere, knocking them on their ass again.

But he didn't stay. There were goddamn convicts out there and a kid with a missing leg and a group of people that he knew hated his goddamn guts. So he'd leave her because he had to leave her. He stood up, his eyes going to the open cell door and he snorted, shaking his head solemnly. How many times had he went out of his way to avoid this place? Now it seemed like there was a very real possibility that he would live out the rest of his days here.

He found some of them in another cell, Hershel calmly working on his daughter as Glenn hovered over Maggie and Lori, who was helping him. When the older Greene girl looked up the look she shot him would have put a burr up any other man's ass, but Merle simply flashed her a toothy grin, just to piss her off, and then went to stroll away. He didn't get very far when he heard her sharp voice.

"Hey!" She barked, her voice ragged.

He turned, meeting her angry gaze. "I got shit to do Bo Peep. What the hell do you want?" He asked, his eyes cutting over to Glenn who had followed after her.

"Did you get what you were so eager to go after?" She asked angrily, crossing her arms.

He nodded. "Sure did." What the fuck was this about anyway?

She sneered and then jerked her head towards the cell where the others were. "My sister got hurt out there, all for that woman of yours. Do have anything at all to say?"

He chuckled and then shrugged. Was this bitch serious? Yeah, she was serious all right. "How bout I say, tough break." He turned to walk away but he felt her hand on his shoulder, then heard Glenn mutter her name.

When Merle turned the kid was pulling the girl away but she was putting up a fight. "Do you really think any of us want you here? We're doing you a favor, Merle. You're a selfish piece of garbage and you didn't deserve my sisters help. That woman in there didn't deserve her help," she growled angrily. "You're trash and if Rick had any sense at all, he'd send all of you packing."

"That's enough," a low voice said from behind Merle.

He turned and saw Carol, of all people, standing in the doorway to one of the cells, her eyes like blue flint.

Maggie shook her head, "Carol you can't pretend that having him here is going to end in anything but heartache," Maggie snapped. "Daryl's one thing but this," she threw Merle a withering look, "I've heard the stories."

Carol nodded. "You're upset, and rightly so, but you're out of line, Maggie. Beth had no business in those tombs to begin with and you know it. What happened was horrible, but Merle isn't to blame."

"He isn't a part of this group."

Carol gave her a soft smile, her eyes kind but when she spoke it left a chill in the air. "Neither am I." She disappeared into the cell without another word. When Merle looked back up Glenn was leading Maggie back to the cell where her sister lay.


	34. Chapter 34

**Hello! I'm still not sure where to take this now that they are all together but I'm trying! Hope this chapter is okay. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Thirty Four**

Daryl wasn't very happy about being on sick bed watch. It was damn bullshit was what it was, but he'd been volunteered and there wasn't shit he could do about it. The only reason he'd agreed at all was because Merle needed a fucking break and Carol was about the only person other than himself that didn't mind spending any amount of time with the man.

It wasn't that Merle was even that bad anymore. Hell, Daryl was thrilled about the changes in his brother, because to him, they weren't really changes at all. Merle was like he'd been when they were younger and for a long time now, with Merle on drugs, he'd longed to have his brother back. And now he was the man Daryl had missed so much.

No, the reason people had a problem with Merle was the fact that he wasn't prone to sugar coating things. He didn't pretend to like any of them and he didn't feel the need to use pretty words to make things easier. It didn't bother him to call people out on their bullshit and this group wasn't too fond of that. But that was just how Merle had always been. Daryl smiled to himself. It could have been a lot different if the woman hadn't shown up and gotten him off that roof. Daryl didn't want to even think about what could have been his brother's fate without her so he was grudgingly thankful to her. She gave him back the only family he had left and that was no small thing.

He glanced over at the bed and was startled to see that the woman in question was now staring right at him, her eyes clear. He held her gaze for a few long moments and then looked away. "How you feelin'?" He asked, picking at a callous on his hand absently before glancing up again.

She sat up, running her hand through her hair and scooting to the edge of the bunk. She took a few seconds to answer, like she had to do an assessment of herself before she could give him an honest answer. "Better. Shoulder still aches like a total bitch but I don't feel sick anymore. Thank God."

"Thank Big Pharma," he muttered.

She looked up, tilting her head like a confused pup. "Huh?"

He shook his head. "Nothin'," he muttered, unwilling to share any of his pre-apocalyptic conspiracy theories. "You've been a goddamn mess for a few days now. Shit got worse before it got better. Antibiotics took longer to cut through that infection and Merle's kept you so doped up on pain meds that you've been to Mars for the most part. I skipped your last dose so the train to Lala Land had to leave off without you."

Her eyes widened. "Days?"

"Days. You can thank Carol for your dignity. She's the one been takin' care of you the most."

She smiled slightly. "I'll do that. Right after I give your brother an ear full for drugging me," she muttered.

Daryl shook his head. "I wouldn't. If he didn't care he'd have taken all of them himself."

She nodded, glancing around the cell like it was the first time she had seen it. "How are things here? Is it safe? I mean, really safe?"

Daryl nodded. "Far as we can tell. Merle and Rick's been arguin' over what needs to be done first. Merle wants to make the fence more secure. Rick wants to stock up on supplies."

"Who won that argument?"

Daryl snorted. "Rick took T-dog on a supply run."

She scowled and shook her head. "Figures."

"Yeah. Merle ain't got much backing in this place but he was right when he said those fences ain't gonna last forever. As long as we got food and a clean water supply, we can go a few more weeks without anything else. We've gone longer than that with a lot less."

She nodded absently. "What about Hershel's daughter?"

Daryl shrugged. "She wails a lot but Hershel got her up on some crutches earlier. She'll probably live unless we get a breach and end up needin' to move fast." He stood up then. He'd been sitting for hours and his ass was about numb.

"Where is Merle?" She asked, standing up herself and then swaying slightly. She grabbed the bunk to steady herself.

"He took watch with Carol. That's why I'm here."

She raised a brow.

He shrugged. "With the rest of them tryin' to take care of Hershel's kid and Merle and Carol tryin' to take care of you everybody is a little ragged. The two of them needed a break so they made me sit here."

She smiled. "Sister-in-law duty?"

He snorted. "Somethin' like that. You wanna get the hell outta here? The weather's holdin' up pretty well and your pasty ass could use some sun."

She rolled her eyes. "Lead the way Nurse Dixon."

He felt the corner of his mouth turn up at that. He was curious to know what it was about this woman that had snagged a man like Merle. She had a quick wit about her, which the old Merle wouldn't have appreciated at all. She was good looking but not the same way other women that caught Merle's eye was good looking. Merle went for the hooker on the corner, not the girl next door, and that was the look this woman had. He supposed some would call it wholesome. She didn't come off as some sort of walking venereal disease.

"Have you made any progress with Sophia?" She asked, as they crossed the common room.

He shrugged. "I don't know what you're talkin' about." But that was a lie. For a while the girl had seemed scared as fuck any time he got near her. It was weird to think that he scared her and Merle didn't when Merle was clearly the bigger asshole. But then he understood. It wasn't really him. It was the fact that her own dad had treated her like shit and now that she knew that Daryl and her mom were... whatever the fuck they were, she thought he was going to turn around and treat her like shit too. He'd made some progress though. She'd seemed curious about his bow so he took the time to point some things out, showing her how it worked but making sure to keep his voice calm and his movements slow. She was warming up to him but that wasn't anybodies business but his own. And the kid's, he supposed.

She shook her head and then paused, her steps faltering. Daryl looked up and saw Maggie and Glenn sitting at one of the tables. From one of the cells Daryl could make out the now familiar sound of the youngest Greene girl sobbing. It grated on his nerves for some reason but not as bad as the look Maggie was shooting his brother's woman.

He understood where Maggie's head was at the moment. She was hurting for her sister and she needed someone to blame, because blaming herself wasn't something she was willing to do just yet. Maddy was the next best thing. Maddy and Merle, but Maggie didn't have much to say to Merle for some reason.

"Hi," Maddy said uncertainly.

Glenn smiled slightly and nodded. "You look like you feel a lot better."

Maddy smiled back but it seemed strained. "I do. I guess I got lucky."

Glenn opened his mouth to say something but Maggie stood up so fast the chair she had been using crashed to the floor. She glared at Maddy and then Daryl before storming off towards the cell where her father was trying to calm her sister.

Glenn stood up, an apology in his eyes as he looked at both of them. "She's just having a hard time since Beth..."

"Yeah?" Daryl snapped.

Glenn sighed and gave him a stiff nod. "It just hasn't been easy-"

"It ain't been easy for any of us," Daryl said, his voice loud enough to carry to the cell that Maggie was standing in front of. Daryl saw Maggie tense at his tone so he kept going. "It wasn't easy for me when y'all decided to leave my brother. Wasn't easy for Carol when she thought her daughter was dead. Wasn't easy for Rick when he had to kill his best friend because his wife decided to fuck him to pass some time at the quarry. But that don't give any of us any right to treat anybody like shit. Who she needs to be blamin' is the person that gave the go ahead to a goddamn kid that didn't have any business in those tombs in the first place." He grabbed Maddy's arm and pulled her along, not giving any of them time to respond. He did have the satisfaction of seeing Lori staring at him as he passed the cell she had claimed for her and Carl.

"Thanks," Maddy muttered, her tone telling him that Maggie had succeeded in making her feel like it was her fault Beth got her fool self bit.

Daryl shook his head angrily. "Don't mention it."

~H~

Merle leaned against the wall of the tower while Carol leaned out over the railing. He would have taken the opportunity to check out her ass but he wasn't really interested in any asses here lately. That and that was technically his brother's ass now and he didn't have any right admiring it.

He was strung tight as a bow string and he was trying hard to let the sun bake some of the tension out of his bones. No matter what, he felt cold here lately. Like the damn concrete walls of the prison was seeping into his fucking marrow. The rest of the group wasn't making things any easier. No matter what he suggested, Rick wouldn't hear any of his ideas, even though he could see that some of the others in the group seemed to want to weigh in on Merle's side, no one ever opened their damn mouths other than Carol and his brother.

Maddy wasn't getting any better either, which was tearing a hole in his gut. He couldn't eat because he felt sick all the damn time. Her fever had peaked last night and he was afraid that, regardless of what the old man told him, she wasn't gonna make it. Add that to the constant wailing of Hershel's youngest and the never ending glares from the man's oldest and it was all just becoming too much.

Carol had dragged him out earlier to take watch but he hadn't wanted to come with her. He liked her company, though. The woman he remembered from the quarry wasn't anywhere to be found now. She was quick. She was smart and she was pretty goddamn tough and she fucked with his brother and would get the little fucker blushing and cursing like Merle had never seen. And she was damn fierce when it came to sticking up for her own. And Merle and Maddy were included in that category.

She spun around, her eyes wide and he scanned the road leading into the prison, gripping the rifle hard. When he didn't see anything amiss he glanced back down at her but she was pointing towards the prison.

He squinted, shading his eyes with his hand and then he spotted them. "I'll be goddamned," he muttered, a heavy weight lifting off his chest when he saw Maddy and Daryl walking towards the tower.

He draped an arm over Carol's shoulder and hers went around his waist.

"I told you so," she said, glancing up and beaming at him.

He grinned and nodded before his eyes slid back down to the yard. Now they were standing there looking up. Daryl's hands were on his hips and he actually smiled. A real one, which was rare. Maddy waved, grinning ear to ear.

"Well, what the hell are you waiting for, Merle?" Carol asked, surprising him when she gave him a small squeeze. "Get your ass down there."

She didn't have to tell him twice. He just about broke his fucking neck rushing down the stairs but then when he opened the door, he slowed his pace, walking towards the duo much more calmly. He didn't need her getting a big head. But goddamn seeing her fucking smile seemed to lift a heaviness away that he felt like he'd been shouldering for much longer than he actually had.

Daryl stepped away from her then, stalling before passing Merle. Their eyes locked and Merle nodded. The corner of his brother's mouth turned up and then his eyes slid up to the tower. It was a strange moment for some reason, as they passed one another in the yard.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty Five**

For the first two weeks Merle made it a point to keep his mouth shut for the most part. It wasn't easy and he didn't like it but he understood that, until they found out what the hell their options were, he knew he needed to keep the peace.

There was a divide among the members that didn't go unnoticed by anyone. A thick tension that seemed to settle over the group like a fog. The rest of them didn't trust him and didn't really go out of their way to keep their distrust a secret. Once she got better, everyone, other than Maggie, couldn't help but like Maddy. She was just one of those types. There wasn't really anything about her not to like. Other than her apparent bad taste in men.

"You're stewing."

He looked up, surprised that she had been able to sneak up on him at all. It was rare that he was so far in his own head that he wasn't paying attention to what was going on around him. She pushed the door shut and offered him a sympathetic smile. He scoffed and closed the book he'd been reading by candlelight. "I ain't stewin'. Nothin' to stew over." He wasn't sure how she had even found him since he'd snuck off to the library without being seen by any of the others.

Maddy sighed and perched on the edge of the table. "Your brother and Carol are fighting."

Merle lifted a brow. "No shit?" That was something. Those two never fought over anything. Carol had an unending reservoir of patience and somehow, even when Daryl was at his worst, she was able to smooth him out a bit. If Merle had to guess, he would say it was the fact that the nervous little bastard was finally getting laid on the regular. As soon as he got wound up about something, all the woman had to do was give him a look. Then it was over. Then they'd disappear for an hour or so.

She nodded. "I wasn't trying to eaves drop but it's hard not too in this place. He's hell bent on checking out that group those women warned us about."

Merle knew exactly what _women_ she was talking about. A week ago, while on a supply run, Merle, Daryl, Rick and Axel ran right into Andrea. She had another woman with her, searching through a pharmacy. A woman that gave Merle the goddamn creeps. But both looked worse for wear, especially the blonde. Rick made the call to take them back, which wouldn't have bothered Merle too much if it'd just been a couple of women, but that wasn't the case. The other woman, Michonne, had been pulling along two goddamn walkers by a chain. Armless, jawless fucking walkers.

Of course, her pets weren't invited so she'd put them down without batting an eye and the two of them had been at the prison ever since. Michonne didn't talk much, which was just as well as far as Merle was concerned, but Andrea didn't seem to have the ability to shut up. She was just as opinionated as she had been back at the quarry.

The women had told them about a group they had spotted not too far from the prison. Rick wanted to check them out and that was one thing that him and Merle agreed on. The problem was, who was going to do the checking. Rick wanted him and Daryl to go it alone since Rick was the new president of the goddamn United States and Daryl was the only one out of all of them besides Merle with any goddamn survival skills. And this news, Merle knew, had pissed Carol off.

Merle wasn't keen on going himself simply because he still didn't really trust the three inmates that had managed to integrate themselves into the group. Of course, for the most part they were treated a lot like Merle. No one wanted them there and when Axel got caught peeking in at Maggie's kid sister, that had caused a big stink. Now the little bastard was following Carol around and Merle was entertained by the way Daryl got extra pissy any time he caught him. Daryl never said anything about it because that just wasn't the way he handled things, but his mood would plummet. It was Merle's favorite part of the day.

"What are you reading?" Maddy asked once the silence went on for a while.

He shrugged and scooted the book across the table. She picked it up, not paying attention to it at all, and rifled through the pages. He could tell she was distracted. "What's the problem, woman?" He asked, knowing she was going to do that annoying thing where she was going sit around and huff until he finally asked her.

She shrugged. "Nothing."

He rolled his eyes and then crossed his arms behind his head, leaning against the brick behind him. "Your shoulder still botherin' you?"

She eyed him for a second, her brows pulling together in a frown. "Stop doing that," she muttered.

He narrowed his eyes but they widened when she quickly moved from the table and then straddled his lap in the chair. "Stop what?" He asked, keeping his fingers laced behind his head.

She glared. "Stop acting like I'm about to break. I'm fine. You know I'm fine and I've been fine for a while now. It doesn't even really ache anymore and you're still treating me like I'm made out of glass. It's damn annoying!"

He scowled. That was a goddamn lie. Maybe. Okay, she was basically right but it wasn't his damn fault. "What the fuck you want? You want me to throw you around? Shove your face into the bunk and fuck your brains out? Goddamn, Maddy, you got shot!"

She made a face and then huffed out a breath. He'd be a liar if he tried to say that the thought of doing any of those things wasn't goddamn appealing. All this good guy bullshit, trying to do the right thing by her, was getting on his fucking nerves. Between her and trying to hold his tongue with the rest of the people around this shit hole he was just about ready to blow a fuse. It was hard work.

She eyed him for a few long moments and when he didn't make a move to touch her, she leaned back in his lap and then whipped her shirt over her head.

Merle gave himself credit for holding back while she was basically dry riding his dick but once her shirt was on the floor, he reacted the way one would expect Merle Dixon to react. He gripped her waist and pushed her off of him until he could stand up and then his hands went to work on her pants. She gripped him by the back of the neck, pulling his face towards hers and if he had any doubts that she was better, he didn't anymore. No one would have been able to kiss a man like that if she was hurting in any way.

She was trying to get his shirt up, her warm hands smoothing over his chest, flexing into the muscles there and moaning into his mouth. They had only been together like this two times. Just two goddamn times before all hell broke loose and seemed to keep breaking.

He ripped the shirt over his head and then tossed it, his mouth going right back to hers. He hadn't even realized how goddamn bad he wanted her until now. He'd kept himself in check but now he was ready to rip the rest of her clothes off so he could bury himself inside her. He remembered clearly the softness and the heat. Remembered...

"Hey, Merle- Oh..."

Merle looked up, the sound of Rick's voice like a fucking bucket of ice water poured over him. Maddy growled and actually glared at the man from over her shoulder. "Do you mind?"

Rick's eyes lingered on her long enough to piss Merle off but finally he averted his gaze. "Actually, I wish I didn't mind but at the moment I do. Glenn and Oscar were on watch and they spotted a group moving this way."

"Fuck," Merle growled, bending down to retrieve her shirt. "Whoever it is, I'm gonna kill'em quick so I can get back to what the hell I was doin'."

~H~

Daryl sure as fuck didn't want to walk away after arguing with her but he didn't have a choice. Glenn hadn't been sure how many people were heading right for them and no one knew if they were Woodbury cast offs looking for trouble or just someone looking for some shelter.

"You got your rifle and Sophia's getting good with that pistol," he said, his voice pitched low so only she could hear him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her wide eyes boring into his. "It was a stupid argument. Be careful out there."

At the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him he stiffened and turned, seeing Axel standing there.

"Carol, you and your girl won't have to worry about a thing. I'll make sure to stay close," the little pecker said bravely.

Daryl felt a muscle in his jaw start ticking at the irrational anger this man evoked in him. Not everyone around here was perceptive enough to know exactly what him and Carol were. Hell, at first even he hadn't realized what the hell they were, but after that day Sophia pretty much ran away from him, thinking he was going to hurt her, he realized that they were, in fact, very much a unit. The goddamn woman was his and if this little pencil dick mother fuck-

"Daryl," Rick called from the doorway.

Daryl growled low in his throat, not even realizing the sound was coming from him at first. Axel took a step away, his hands going up. When he looked back at Carol she was watching him uncertainly. Without a second thought his mouth crashed into hers. She made a startled sound but then he felt her warm hand on the side of his neck.

He didn't do shit like this in front of people. He wasn't the center of attention type guy, but Axel needed to know to back off before he found himself very much dead.

"Be careful," she said, not for the first time, once he pulled away.

He nodded and then eyed a stunned looking Axel one more time before he shouldered his bow and stormed towards the doors. Merle was standing there with Rick, a knowing look in his eyes. "Don't you say one goddamn word dick face or so help me-"

"Calm yourself there, Darylina. I've been waitin' for you to finally get fed up and do something about that," Merle said, elbowing him as the group of men made their way outside.

Once they were out they were met by an intense looking Glenn, rifle gripped hard in his hands. "From what I can tell there's at least five people heading our way. They're hanging back because of the walkers in front of the gate but from what I can tell, they aren't trying to keep themselves from being seen. It doesn't look like they're here to try to ambush us or anything."

Daryl narrowed his eyes and shared a look with Merle before he glanced over at a waiting Rick. The man knew that the wheels in Daryl's head were turning. Daryl knew Merle had the same idea but if Merle suggested anything, Rick would disregard it.

Daryl had to remind himself that Rick didn't really know Merle. His first impression of Merle was that whacked out freak on the roof, trying to hurt people. But that wasn't who his brother was. Not really. Merle was smart and goddamn capable. Rick just didn't want to see it. So Daryl would speak for the both of them. "Could be a trap."

Merle nodded slightly, letting Daryl know that he'd had the same idea.

Rick ran a hand over his face. "But what if it isn't?"

Merle rolled his eyes. "How about we send Maggie and Axel out to talk to them, make sure they're safe. If those two don't end up dead, we can let these strangers in."

Daryl rolled his eyes. Shit like this that came out of Merle's mouth may have played a role in why no one wanted to listen to him. Glenn clenched his fists and glared but Merle smiled at the kid, almost sweetly. "Cut that shit out, Merle. I'll go talk to'em."

This got a reaction out of everyone. "What? You lose your goddamn brain after your balls dropped?" Merle barked.

Daryl shook his head. "No, somebody has to figure out if they're friend or foe. You gonna tell me that you can walk back into that prison without findin' out who the hell is out there?"

Merle looked out across the dark yard. "Fuck," he spat.

"Wait a minute. I can't let you do that Dar-"

"When are you gonna get it through your head that you don't make calls for my brother, Rick?" Merle asked, his voice low and carrying an edge. "He ain't your bitch."

"I'll go with him," Martinez spoke up suddenly.

"Me too," Oscar chimed in.

"So can I," Michonne said quietly, her hand resting on the hilt of that sword she seemed to favor so much.

Rick looked uncertain and Daryl could see that Merle didn't like it one bit, but they needed to know who they were dealing with. If not then something could happen to the women and the kids in there and Daryl had a firm claim on two of them. He wasn't about to risk something happening to either one of them.


	36. Chapter 36

**So sorry for the delay! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Thirty Six**

"I want two to each tower," Rick barked, getting the attention of the rest of the group as they stormed back into the prison. "Tiny, you take the west corner with me since it's closer to the gate, Carol and Maggie, you take the east corner. Glenn and Carl can take one tower and Merle and Axel can take the other." He shoved a pistol into Andrea's hand. "Can you stay close to the rest of them? I need someone in here. I don't think anyone will be able to get through us but if they do-" He let the sentence hang there.

Andrea nodded stiffly, taking the gun and checking the clip before shoving it back home. "You sure you don't need me out there?"

Rick shook his head and then looked up when Lori closed the distance.

"What do you mean, Carl and Glenn. He's a child!" She hissed.

Rick ran a hand over his face, obviously not in the mood to talk to his wife. "He's a child that's a better shot than a lot of people here. He's going."

Sophia was staring at the rest of them with wide eyes. "I'm a good shot too."

"That's why you're gonna keep a lookout and cover Andrea's back inside," Daryl said quickly. "You got your piece?"

Sophia lifted her shirt, showing him the gun tucked into the holster he'd rigged to her belt.

He nodded. "Check the clip and make sure it's ready to fire. Andrea can guard the door and if something happens and somebody gets past her I want you on the perch. Aim for the head."

"Got it," Sophia said, heading up the stairs. He was relieved that she was so quick to follow orders. She didn't whine like Carl often did. She was smart and he hadn't just sent her up there so she'd feel like she was playing a part. He sent her up there because he knew that if someone did get past all of their defenses, she'd be able to take aim, and cover, a lot easier up top.

"What the hell is happening?" Carol asked as Daryl shoved a rifle into her hands.

"I was about to ask the same thing," Maddy said, arms crossed over her chest.

Daryl shot Merle a look. "This one is all yours, big brother." He almost grinned at the exasperated look on Merle's face but Carol was suddenly pulling him towards an empty cell. This wasn't going to end well and he knew it.

"Where are you going to be?" She asked, her eyes wide. She wasn't like she had been. She didn't jump at every sound and she wasn't scared of a whole lot but she was scared now.

"I'm gonna go with a few of the others and make sure these people-"

"Have you lost your mind!" She hissed, eyes flashing.

His jaw clenched and he took in a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. "You got two choices here. You can get pissed off and you can stay that way until I get back behind the fence, or you can let me do what I need to do without getting pissed off until I get back behind the fence. Either way, I'm goin' out there."

"Why you?"

"Because I don't trust nobody else to do it, damn it," his voice was low but harsh.

"I could-"

"No," he growled. "Don't even fuckin' ask. You cover me just like Rick said. And be glad you're goin' at all."

Her eyes narrowed and he knew why she was pissed but his mind was made up. Everything was already worked out. Finally she nodded. "Don't get yourself killed out there," she said in a stronger voice than he thought she would have.

"Didn't plan on it," he said, the corner of his mouth turning up.

She went to step out of the cell but he caught her arm, pulling her back in. She looked up expectantly. "What?"

He hesitated for a moment and then ran a hand through his hair. "If something does happen out there and things go south, get your ass back inside. Don't stand out there and get yourself gunned down."

She bit her lip and swallowed hard but finally gave him a stiff nod.

"But I don't think these people are here for trouble. I think they're just after the same thing we've all been after."

She turned without a word and left the cell. He felt bad for her. If there was any way around it then he wouldn't go at all but what he had told her was the damn truth. He didn't trust Rick to handle it. He sure as hell didn't trust his brother to handle it. He wanted to do it himself. She got that and he was damn grateful she didn't give him a lot more shit than she had.

~H~

Merle almost went through with it. He'd been fine with the plan, actually. It made sense to him. More often than not, Merle came off more aggressive than he actually meant to. He didn't have the face or the stance of a man that generally put others at ease.

He was about to head to his designated tower when he happened to glance over his shoulder and saw his brother heading to the gate with the others. Daryl was a grown man. He was strong and capable of handling his own shit. Merle knew it. He didn't always show it. Half the time he acted like Daryl was still twelve fucking years old. But inside, he had a lot of confidence in him.

But tonight, it didn't matter. None of that mattered at the moment because he wasn't going to let him walk out the gates without him. Everyone had their designated spots and Merle had been okay with that but he wasn't anymore. He turned from the tower and stalked after his brother. Maddy was going to wring his fucking neck but that didn't matter either. Rick was going to be pissed, but that was just a bonus.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Daryl asked as Carl pulled the gate open once the others had the walkers heading to the far side of the fence.

"You really think I was gonna let you go alone?" Merle snorted.

Oscar, Michonne and Martinez all shot him an annoyed look, since it was obvious that Daryl wasn't going anywhere alone. But Merle didn't have any faith in any of them. He'd keep his brother safe his damn self.

He grinned, shouldering the rifle and gesturing towards the open gate. "After you, princess."

Daryl cursed but knew better than to try to put up a fight. Merle wasn't too worried about this group they were about to check out anyway. If they wanted to take what they had here then they wouldn't be standing out there like a bunch of dumb fucks waiting to be gunned down. Merle didn't have a whole lot of faith in the overall intelligence of most people, but surely if they were here for trouble, they would have gone about it differently. They were acting like they wanted to be seen.

But he knew the importance of being careful and he thought that all of their precautions, though for nothing, was still smart. This group needed to stay on their toes.

The closer they got the more Merle could make out. There looked to be three men and two women but one of the men was holding one of the women up. His guard didn't drop. He was still more than willing to gun down every one of them if it came to that, but any doubts he had that this group was more than just a downtrodden lot dissolved.

Merle and the others didn't walk close to one another. They each walked about ten feet away from the next person and as they approached the other group started backing away slowly. Like they just realized that they could have possibly stepped into something dangerous. They were actually damn lucky they hadn't.

He kept his gun trained on the bigger man but his eyes flicked to all of them. The closer they got the more Merle was sure they weren't here for trouble.

"Who the hell are you?" Merle asked, once they were close enough to be heard even though they were speaking low. He noted that one of the men wasn't a man at all but a boy. He stayed close to the man with the woman leaning heavily on him.

"I'm Sasha and this is my brother Tyreese. That's Allen and his wife and Ben, their son. She's hurt. We're just looking for a place to lay low for a few days."

"You got weapons?" Oscar asked, keeping his own gun trained on the big man.

Tyreese shook his head. "Nothin' that really amounts to anything. No guns if that's what you want to know."

Michonne returned her weapon to her back and stepped forward. "What happened to her?" She asked, taking one more step before Oscar grabbed her arm to stop her. Smart man.

"She's been-"

"She got hurt out there in the woods. She's bleeding and we just need to get her cleaned up," Allen snapped, eying the boy standing next to him.

Merle and Daryl shared a long look. It was obvious that the man didn't want them to know what the hell had happened to the women, and that could only mean one thing.

"Look," Sasha said quickly, "We're barely ahead of about thirty of those things. They're gonna start coming out of the woods any second. We aren't here to cause anyone any harm. We'll just rest and go when those things are gone, okay?"

Merle's eyes scanned the trees and he quickly made a decision. His decision was, leave these mother fuckers to take care of themselves. He shrugged and then turned. "We ain't runnin' no fuckin' free bed and breakfast. We don't know you," he said over his shoulder.

He heard his brother talking to them but he was already walking away. Surely those bleeding heart assholes weren't planning on letting more fucking people in. They came out here to see if there was a threat and there wasn't one. Now they could go back behind the fences and he could get back to the warm willing body that he had been about to ravage before Rick came and fucked up his game.

"Hey man," Oscar hissed, catching up with him quickly. "You can't be serious. We can't leave women and a kid out here."

Merle stopped and turned with a glare. "And why is that?"

Oscar regarded him and then shook his head. "Cause it ain't right. You people let us stay."

Merle chuckled. "Actually that was them. I voted to use you for target practice."

"How the hell was I locked up in there while the likes of you was walking free?" Oscar asked, not sounding upset, just curious.

"Cause I didn't get caught doin' stupid shit very often." He turned back and walked through the gates. He was disappointed but not surprised when he turned and saw that Daryl and Michonne were herding the newcomers through the gate. He rolled his eyes and stormed back into the prison, ignoring the others that were now coming to greet them. "Fuckin' idiots," he grumbled.

~H~

Maddy was pacing. She was nervous and her shoulder was starting to ache like crazy and she was sure that if everything had been okay then they would have came back in by now. She wasn't reassured by the fact that so far it had been quiet. As far as she was concerned they were surrounded by a group of fifty murderers and they were all going to be slaughtered, even though that never failing voice in her mind was telling her that things were going to be fine.

She was mad because she felt useless but she hadn't wanted to volunteer because she still couldn't shoot a rifle because of her shoulder and she wasn't very good with a handgun. She hated feeling useless and she hated waiting. She hated worrying.

Andrea showed up suddenly, looking relieved but Merle stormed into the room with a scowl on his face. Maddy stayed still, her hand on the banister, her eyes watching the man. She'd seen him like this plenty of times and knew it would do her no good to try to talk to him. If he wanted her to know what was wrong then he would tell her.

Lori came out of her cell then, her eyes wary.

"Two women, two men and some boy. Five more goddamn mouths to feed," he growled, walking towards her. "Come on down kid, we don't get to do any killin' tonight!" He called up to the perch.

"Everything okay?" She asked, unable to hold her tongue anymore.

He grimaced and then gestured towards the doorway where the others were finally filing in. "Won't be. I'm pretty damn sure that one of them women is bit. Her old man ain't admitting it, of course, but I'm sure of it."

Maddy felt a thread of ice wind down her spine. "She can't turn in here. Not with Carl and Sophia so close," she whispered.

"You just keep your distance from'em," he said, his voice softening.

She shook her head, watching as the newcomers finally came into the room. Rick was walking with Daryl and Carol followed them. Rick was at least smart enough to keep the gun raised, just in case. The woman in question was barely walking and Maddy could see the blood covering her from a wound in her shoulder.

"Fuckin' idiots," Merle grumbled, leaning next to her.

She looked up at him, feeling bad about what she was about to say but needing to say it. "I'll kill that woman my damn self if she starts to turn. Why are they letting her in here? She's in pain and she isn't coming back from that. It's cruel to watch her suffer like that!" She kept her voice low.

Merle's eyes met hers, the ice in them thawing a bit, replaced by a fire she recognized. "You think you could just walk up there and put a person down? Killin' ain't as easy as it looks, woman."

She shook her head. "If it meant keeping you or anyone else I care about safe then I could do it. I _will_ do it."

He grinned and then hooked a finger through the belt loop in her jeans. She crashed into him and then looked up. "You know, you talkin' about puttin' somebody down is pretty hot."

She rolled her eyes and tried to squirm away but only managed to turn enough so now her back was pressed against his chest. His arms were banded around her middle and she wasn't about to try to fight him to get away. Instead she leaned against him and let him have his way. Mostly because she simply liked feeling him solid and safe behind her and partly because as long as he was giving her a hard time, he wasn't anywhere near that woman. She had meant what she said. She'd kill her herself if it meant keeping her own people safe.

Merle's hands slid up her torso, right there in front of everyone and she had to elbow him hard to keep him from groping her right there. "I'm goddamn dyin' here, woman," he growled into her ear.

She blew out a breath. "There's too much going on right now for us to sneak off and mess around, Merle."

He grumbled, something about killing them all but finally stopped trying to put his crude version of seduction to use on her.


	37. Chapter 37

**I'm gonna go ahead and apologize for Merle in advance here. He is not very fond of Lori Grimes. lol Or Rick. Or anyone really other than his own very tight circle of family. We're really close to wrapping this up folks. I'm kind of sad too, and relieved. lol Hope you enjoy this one and thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Thirty Seven**

Hershel and Maggie stayed back with the newcomers while Rick ordered the rest of the group into another room. They gathered in the kitchen, all of them looking at one another nervously. Rick made it a point to meet the eyes of everyone there. Merle made a mental note that Rick's eyes lingered on his for longer than anyone else. Maybe he was waiting for Merle to look away. Maybe he needed that small private victory. Too bad because Merle wasn't letting him have it. He narrowed his eyes until Rick moved on to someone else.

"We need to make a decision. We don't know those people out there and I don't know if-"

Merle, of course, already felt the need to interrupt him. "I know one of'em needs a bullet in the brain right now. As far as the rest, do what you want, I don't care either way."

Rick sighed. "Merle, we can't just go out there and kill that man's wife."

Merle grinned. "No, we can't kill yours, unfortunately, but that bitch out there is turnin'. I got kin here I won't see hurt because you wanna play Officer Golden Heart and let the bitch die on her own."

Lori bristled. "She has a son."

"And you have a problem keepin' your legs closed. Neither means shit to me, lady," Merle snapped.

"Enough!" Rick roared, fists clenched as he took a step towards him. If looks could kill then Merle would be a dead man.

"Goddamn it," Daryl growled, grabbing Merle's arm and pulling him back. "You two wanna keep this shit up or you wanna hear a reasonable idea?"

Lori, who looked outraged, rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "This should be good."

Merle saw Carol's head shoot up at that, her blue eyes cold as they regarded the woman. She kept her mouth shut, though, which was something. It was obvious to Merle that she had plenty to say. She sure as shit wasn't the same woman from the quarry. That was for damn sure.

Daryl just blew off Lori's sarcasm with a look. "The woman is turnin'. There isn't any way around it, and nobody wants to kill her in front of her kid. I say we put her and her husband in a cell. If he can't bring himself to put her down then-" His voice broke off as the door opened up.

Maggie stepped in, her face grave. "It's over," she said to Rick.

"Who did it?" Rick asked, a look of relief of his face.

"Tyreese. It was getting bad. Sophia and Carl are with the boy now."

Rick nodded and Maggie slipped out of the room. Since it seemed like this little meeting was for nothing the rest of them started filing out behind her. Merle was bringing up the rear when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned, knocking Rick's hand off of him, eyes flashing angrily.

Rick held up his hands but his body was tensed like he was bracing for a fight. "We need to talk," he said, trying hard to keep his voice under control.

Maddy paused in the doorway, a questioning look in her eyes but Merle nodded, hoping she'd just go. He didn't need her causing any kind of stink and her opinion of Rick was a low one. It would be easier to just get it over with without an audience. She pulled the door closed when she left.

"Make it quick. I got shit to do out there," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Rick took a few seconds to school his features but Merle could tell that he didn't want to talk to him at all. Merle understood it too because Rick was second to the last person he ever wanted to have to have a discussion with. Lori was at the top.

"Look, Merle. There's a whole group of people out there depending on me. They look towards me for answers and they expect me to keep them safe. I can't do that if there's constant turmoil within this group. Now, I can put the past where it belongs, okay? I need to know if you can do the same thing."

Merle regarded him levelly. "Why you?" He asked, knowing the story. Carol had told him already. About what Rick was like after Shane. About him standing up and forcing the others to accept the fact that this was _his_ group, and _he_ was the one that was making the calls for them. The rest of them accepted it. All of them but her and Daryl. "Now why would a group just expect one man to come up with all the answers?"

Rick's expression didn't change but Merle could see that he knew that Merle already heard about how he had become the leader of this group. "These people needed someone to-"

"You couldn't even keep your own fucking family on a leash," Merle snapped. "And it made you feel like you were losin' control and so you took the first chance you got and you stood up and demanded a bunch of scared pathetic people to depend on you. You forced your dick down their throats cause you needed to feel like the big man on campus after what your wife did. Don't you stand there and act like you're position of power in this place ain't somethin' you cling too like a kid with a favorite stuffed monkey."

"I'm not forcing them to turn to me anymore. They're doing it on their own. The world needs law, Merle. It needs order and that's what I'm trying to do here and they know it. They know I'm trying."

Merle spat on the floor at his feet. "You ain't no goddamn leader. You ain't never been a leader. You know what I see, Rick? I see you slippin'. I see you bucklin' under the pressure already and I'm tellin' you now, things ain't even got ugly yet. Not for you. But they will and when they do you remember that me and mine, we're gonna watch you break, and we're still gonna be just fine. You can take your laws and you can shove them straight up Lori's skinny ass. Cause they don't mean shit to me. And they never will."

Rick glared, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side, his hand inching towards the gun at his hip. "So you won't even try to keep the peace?"

Merle shrugged. "If you're askin' if I have any plans on bending to your will, the answer is no. If you're askin' if I'm gonna turn to you and ask permission before I go something, no. You're not my goddamn leader. You ain't got any say so in what goes on with me and my family."

"Then maybe you and your family need to move on," Rick said after a few long moments.

Merle tried to fight it but he couldn't. He grinned. "You gonna move us out, Rick? You gonna get your minions together and walk us to the gate at gunpoint? You think we'd let that happen? Hell," he chuckled, "Carol would slit your throat in your sleep if you tried to force her and her girl out."

"I never said I planned on doing anything, Merle. But I have a group to look after."

"So do I," Merle snapped, all traces of humor wiped away. "And I ain't got no qualms about takin' out every goddamn person in this place to keep'em alive. Unlike you, I ain't gotta strut around like cock of the walk. You wanna go on with your leader bullshit, I'll let you. As long as you keep that shit away from my group." He turned to walk away then but stopped in the doorway, turning back to the man. "And another thing you need to keep in mind. Law is dead, Rick. What's left is fuckin' chaos. Disorder. I was born for this shit. Men like me, we didn't need your laws before all this happened. You think about it, you're just a pawn in _my_ world now. And you best not forget that fact."

~H~

Maddy was standing outside of the door while Merle and Rick spoke. Unfortunately, Lori had the same idea. She trusted Merle as much as Maddy trusted Rick and the two of them stood leaning against opposite walls, both occasionally eying the other when one of the men had trouble controlling their volume. Not that it mattered how loud they spoke. Both women could make out their words clearly.

"He has no right to speak to him like that," Lori said, keeping her own voice much quieter. "He has no idea what we've been through and the only reason any of us are alive right now is because of Rick. He has a lot on his plate. He doesn't need the stress of worrying about the likes of Merle Dixon."

Maddy nodded. "He won't have to worry about Merle if he plans on leaving him alone." It was hard for her to not lash out at this woman. She was selfish and entitled. She expected everyone to look at her and her husband like they were more, somehow different, than the rest of them. But Merle was spot on in his assessment.

Lori scoffed. "Leaving him alone? So Rick and the others are suppose to just ignore the fact that Merle has no intentions of following any rules? If we're going to build a life here, and coexist, then Merle needs to understand that-"

"You need to understand that Rick isn't anything to us. Not to Merle, or myself. Daryl and Carol, none of us look to him like he's anything but what Merle described. He's a man that has to demand weaker people to bend to his will. But we're not those people and he isn't our leader. Maybe you and your group should just pack your things and go. Go find a place where Rick can stand there and be the dictator that he needs to be to feel validated after what you did to him."

"We aren't leaving this place," Lori snapped.

Maddy shrugged. "Neither are we. Coming here in the first place was Merle's call. Not Rick's."

Lori opened her mouth but closed it quickly when the door opened. Merle's next words to Rick had a smile gracing Maddy's lips but Lori blanched. The woman knew that Merle was right. Law was dead and men like Rick, well, they didn't matter anymore. Merle stepped out then, surprised to see her standing there.

"You finished?" Maddy asked, her hand slipping into his, forcing his fingers to relax.

He nodded, offered Lori a withering look and then took off down the hall, muttering and cursing under his breath.

"Do you think we're all going to be able to live like this?" Maddy asked, hoping he would calm down soon.

"We ain't leavin' this fuckin' place, if that's what you're askin'," he snapped, pulling her into the room he'd cleaned out for them. He wouldn't sleep in a cell.

"That isn't what I was asking," she said, keeping her voice calm despite how nervous this side of him made her. She wasn't afraid of him. She had never been afraid of him, but she hated when he was in this mood. He lashed out and the only person that he could aim his frustrations at was her at the moment.

He sat down on the stack of prison mats that he'd shoved into a corner, running a hand over his face. "Tell me why I shouldn't go stab that piece of shit right in the eye," he growled.

She leaned her good shoulder into the wall and shrugged. "Because we'd have to listen to his bony wife shriek for days and then we'd all have headaches. You have to think about the rest of us, you know," she said, her tone mild.

He dropped his hands from his face and looked up at her, he held her gaze for all of two seconds before he shook his head and chuckled. "You think we'll be able to do this? Stay here with these mother fuckers?"

She crossed the room, toeing her boots off as she went. "I think we can as long as Rick remembers his place here. He's right though, Merle. Those people out there, they aren't like you. They _did_ live by rules and there were laws and they are used to a world where someone in power told them what to do. It makes them feel safe. It makes them feel like at least that can remain the same. They want someone else making the hard choices."

He shook his head. "You lived like that. Carol lived like that. Hell, she lived worse than that. Her husband used to beat the holy fuck outta her. Why the hell you think you two ain't falling all over yourselves to let somebody make those choices?" He sounded genuinely curious.

She smiled. "I never really thought about it. Maybe because Carol and I both found men that showed us that freedom, even when it's scary, isn't a bad thing. I don't want someone making calls for me and Carol feels the same. She was the first to walk away from Rick when he laid down the law. The four of us, we can make the hard choices on our own."

When he looked up at her now his eyes were darker and his expression wasn't angry anymore. It was hungry. "Pretty self reliant, huh?"

She shook her head slowly. "Not exactly. I just feel like maybe having someone like you at my back makes things easier. I was pretty pathetic out there on my own. I'm not pathetic anymore. I'm pretty damn tough."

He leaned back on his elbows and watched her carefully. "I can't argue with that."

She nodded. "I can call shots for myself. I don't need a man to tell me what to do."

He grinned. "Can't argue with that either."

She felt her body heat up under his gaze. When she moved, crawling onto the bed and stretching out behind him she wasn't disappointed. He acted just like she knew he would. He tore off his shirt and turned so his knees were on the bed, flush with her hips. She was already working her pants off when he grabbed them and pulled them away.

She braced herself, knowing that he was going to take out his aggression on her body but he surprised her. When his lips met hers they weren't hard and demanding like she was used to. Nothing he did after that was anything she was used to either. He was careful and she knew it was only because he was still worried about her shoulder but it was still touching.

Merle was a hard man and she knew it. Despite that fact she had somehow fallen for him anyway. It was still a comfort knowing that he had clearly fallen just as hard as she had.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty Eight**

As winter raged on outside of the walls of the prison, another kind of storm had quieted. There was less tension than there had been when they had first arrived but that didn't mean that the undercurrent of animosity wasn't visible. Any time Merle and Rick were in a room together it was clear on both their faces that the only reason things hadn't came to blows was because it would disrupt the group.

Spring brought with it a little hope that they could make this work. Merle hadn't wasted any time fortifying the fences, that would eventually collapse under the weight of all the walkers that wanted inside. The winter was the best time to make that happen because the dead were slower and most of the others agreed. The group was large enough that the job wasn't as hard as it would have been if only a few of them were on board, but even Rick worked diligently to make their new home as safe as possible.

Food wasn't much of an issue for the first few months because the few prisoners that had been locked in the kitchen hadn't really put a dent in the food supply but as soon as the weather warmed up, Daryl left often to hunt for fresh meat. Carol worked closely with Hershel, learning everything she could from the man. When she wasn't with Hershel she was with Lori. Despite their differences, Lori needed the woman and Carol wasn't much of a grudge holder. Merle kept a close eye on the part of the prison that they had managed to completely secure. He made it a point to volunteer the three inmates they had saved rather than ask Rick's bunch for any help.

It was the first really warm day of the year when Carol discovered Maddy in the yard, bent over at the waist, getting sick. She had heard someone approaching but hadn't been able to straighten up, since she was losing her lunch in the grass. It was a relief that it was Carol and not one of the others. Most of the women ignored her, deeming her enemy number two, since she was Merle's and that was crime enough in their eyes.

"You ready to finally talk to Hershel?" Carol asked once Maddy straightened up. She took the water bottle gratefully and rinsed her mouth out several times before looking at the other woman.

"It's just a bug. Hershel has his hands full with Lori and his daughter. I'll be fine," she said, running a hand through her hair.

It was true. Hershel's youngest child was going to be the death of him. She refused to eat most of the time and she barely spoke. She wouldn't use the crutches they had found for her. She mostly stayed in her cell, staring blankly at the underside of the top bunk. Even Maddy had tried to talk to her, try to get her to at least give the crutches a try, but the child was lost somewhere in her own mind.

Maddy eventually learned that the girl had been suicidal even before things had gotten really bad so her reaction to losing her leg wasn't surprising. It was still sad, though, and Maddy wished that she could help her. She genuinely cared about Hershel. He was a good man, one of the best, and to see him suffer because of his daughter made her feel horrible for him.

"Are you and Merle... Careful?" Carol asked suddenly, causing Maddy to spill the remainder of her water down her chin. She eyed the other woman wearily.

"It's a virus," she said sternly. "It's the plague. It's anything but that," she said quickly. Surely Carol didn't think that she was pregnant for God's sake.

Carol shrugged. "It just crossed my mind, since you're out here around the same time every day and you haven't really been eating the things you used to eat." She bumped Maddy's shoulder with her own, "And I'm guessing that if those two share anything at all it is probably the fact that they both... well, they both probably have big appetites for certain things. Like a Dixon trademark."

Maddy looked at her, confused for just a second until she saw the flush on Carol's cheeks and then she laughed. "As careful as we can be I guess," she said, her laughter dying away in the face of Carol's knowing look. "What about you? Are the two of you careful?"

Carol grinned. "I don't have to be careful. I got that taken care of not long after Sophia was born."

Maddy made a face. "That's so unfair," she grumbled.

When they went inside they were greeted by a fuming Sophia. Maddy was surprised because usually the girl took everything in stride, mimicking Daryl's mostly cool composure. But now she looked mad. Her arms were crossed and there was a scowl on her face that Maddy had never seen before.

"I'm not a baby!" The girl snapped.

Maddy and Carol shared a look and then looked back down at her. Carol took the lead on this one. "That's perfectly clear to me. Who says otherwise?"

Sophia nodded towards the doorway of the common room. "They're planning this big trip to get some supplies we need for when the baby comes and Carl is going but when I asked Merle and Daryl both shot me right down. I'm five months older than Carl for Christ's sake!" She barked angrily.

The women shared another surprised look with one another before Lori stepped through the doorway, her face flushed. Maddy tensed visibly when the woman started towards them but when she stopped she just offered them both an exasperated look before looking down at Sophia. "If it was up to me then Carl would be staying right here with you. There would be no trips for him for a while."

Maddy eyed Sophia. "Lori's right. If it was up to me you would _both_ be staying."

"But I can shoot! I'm a better shot than Carl!"

Carol finally shook her head. "That doesn't matter. You're staying put."

"But Daryl and Merle-"

"Sophia," Carol said, a clear warning in her voice.

The girl glared and then turned on her heal, just as Daryl was coming through the doorway she slammed her shoulder into him hard. He grimaced and then watched her stalk off. When he looked up he just shook his head, a small smile playing around his mouth.

"Least her little ass ain't scared no more," he muttered. He offered Maddy a nod, ignored Lori completely and then went straight to Carol, his expression changing to that look that was reserved for her alone.

Maddy smiled and walked away, following Lori through the doorway. The woman wasn't as bad as she had been but Maddy had no intentions of becoming too friendly with her. She would never like her very much, even though it was at least easier to be in a room with her now. She was quieter now days which everyone appreciated to a degree.

She spotted Merle bent over a paper with Tyreese and Oscar, pointing here and there and talking in a low voice. Rick was with T-dog and Glenn at another table, pretty much doing the same thing. It was obvious that whatever this run was for, it was a big one. They were going in two groups. Usually if they needed anything, one group or the other would go.

When Merle heard her approaching he looked up and then shoved away from the table, walking towards her with a purpose. "We're leavin' out soon. Weather is too good to stand around here with our thumbs up our asses when there's shit out there we need to get."

Maddy's eyes shot up at that. Merle seemed eager to leave the fences, but he seemed genuinely anxious to get the supplies they needed to insure that Lori had everything she needed for when the baby came. If she was being honest with herself, she felt the same way. Despite who the child's parents were, it was weighing on all of them heavily. They needed to get the supplies to assure the baby was okay, regardless of how some of them felt about Lori. "That's a good idea, but why two groups?"

Merle nodded towards Rick's group. "They're going after basic shit that the baby might need. Our group is hittin' a clinic a few towns over to snag as much medical equipment as we can get our hands on."

"It's been quiet," she said with a shrug.

"Yeah, it has. Got me itchin'," he grumbled.

She laughed. "Quiet is good, Merle."

He shook his head. "Ain't had much quiet in my life, woman. Makes me jumpy as fuck. Anyway, Tyreese, Allen, Andrea, you and Carol are stayin' behind. Should be back before dark anyhow."

She nodded. "Well, I'll remember not to worry too much until tomorrow afternoon. You could run into anything out there that could hold you up."

He grinned wolfishly and then kissed her hard, reaching back and grabbing her ass before dropping his hand and backing up a few steps. "I knew you wouldn't give me the same shit everyone elses women are givin' them. Fuckin' pussies."

She raised an eyebrow at him and sighed, knowing that she was more worried than she let on but also knowing that he wasn't beyond calling _her_ a pussy if she voiced these concerns. So she kept quiet and let him walk away to finish up with the other men.

~H~

No one was surprised when night crept over the prison and the others weren't back yet. Carol had cooked and everyone was quietly eating, lost in their own thoughts as the minutes crept past. Maddy was sure that they were fine out there. Merle and Daryl were two of the most capable men that she'd ever met in her life. If something happened, they would be able to get out of it.

Sophia was with Hershel in his youngest daughter's cell, trying to coax her into a conversation. "She's still mad," Carol noted dryly, following Maddy's gaze. "I never would have guessed I had such a headstrong child."

Maddy nodded. "When I first met her she was just a timid little thing. It was actually Merle that got her to come out of her shell. He was still gruff but he delivered in a way that she found more amusing than intimidating, if you can imagine."

Carol rolled her eyes. "I can, actually. I'm not used to it, but I'm glad she's got a little sass to her now. She's not scared of everyone anymore."

Maddy smiled. "She's tough."

They looked up as Lori came to their table, Carol smiled readily but Maddy looked down at her meal, not in the mood to play nice at the moment. "I was going to take kitchen duty tonight. Would one of you mind taking something up to Allen and Tyreese when you're finished?"

Maddy nodded, feeling like she needed to get some fresh air anyway. Lori left two bowls and walked away without another word.

"I think she feels a little guilty because Merle was so quick to volunteer to go on a run for her," Carol said as the woman stepped out of sight.

Maddy snorted. "After the way she's treated him, I'm a little surprised myself. He must have really wanted to get out for a while."

Carol stood up and picked up one of the bowls. "Actually, even though we both know how Merle is, I don't think he's got it in him to watch a baby suffer just because he can't stand it's parents."

"I know the feeling," Maddy muttered, taking the other bowl and following Carol out into the prison yard.

The women made no sound as they headed up the stairs to the top of the tower where Tyreese and Allen were keeping watch.

The door was ajar and Maddy and Carol could easily make out the sound of low angry voices. They had both grown to like Tyreese. Despite his size he was a soft spoken and kind man, much more sensitive than anyone would expect. Maddy considered him a friend and she knew that Carol felt the same way. Allen on the other hand was quiet and unapproachable. He did most of his talking to his son, that was having a difficult time after losing his mother. There was a bitterness in the man that made Maddy uneasy but she never brought it up. Merle would jump at the excuse to confront the man and she wasn't going to be the reason for anymore drama.

"These people are barely hanging on! It's quiet now but you know that won't last. I'm not risking my son getting caught in the crossfires once Rick and Merle finally decide to kill each other," Allen hissed.

Carol and Maddy shared an anxious look.

Tyreese's voice was low when he spoke, carrying an uncharacteristic edge. "They took us in when they could have left us out there to die. What you're suggesting is insane. These are good people, regardless of the feuding."

Allen made a disgusted sound. "They don't give a damn about you! About any of us! We can take this place. We can take it tonight and we can wait for the men to get back and we can take them down from inside before they even get out of their vehicles. Who did they leave? A couple of women and kids. An old man and a cripple? We can do this! And then we won't have to worry about it."

"If you think for a minute me and my sister are gonna hurt anyone, especially the children, you're out of your mind. You need to take Ben and get the hell out of here if you hate it this much."

"Those men are gonna get everyone here killed anyway!" Allen snapped.

Maddy and Carol stared at one another in the gloom, wide eyed and shocked at what they had just heard. Something had to be done and it had to be done fast because Allen wanted to act quickly and if he had it his way, he'd kill them all tonight. Tyreese, as good a man as he was, didn't strike her as the type that could kill Allen. Not for just talking about wanting to take over the prison, starting with everyone in it tonight.

She also knew that if they waited around for the men to come back, Merle wouldn't hesitate to kill the man in front of everyone. That included his son and the boy was just now starting to come out of his shell a little after losing his mother.

Carol nodded, like she could read Maddy's mind. Because there were two people here, right now, that were very capable of killing if it meant keeping their family safe. Carol schooled her features, smiling slightly and Maddy did the same, carrying the bowl in a death grip now. She didn't trust her own voice at the moment but Carol seemed relaxed.

"You two hungry?" She asked with a smile as they breezed into the tower like they hadn't just overheard the men.

Carol handed Tyreese a bowl and he thanked her quickly, looking uneasy. It was all Maddy could do not to smash the bowl she was carrying right into Allen's face, but she managed. She had no doubts that the man wasn't going to make it back into the prison. If Carol didn't do something then she would. They had too much at stake and she'd be damned if she would watch everything they had be taken by some low life coward like this man.


	39. Chapter 39

**Just a few more chapters to go! And then possibly an epilogue. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Thirty Nine**

Carol leaned against the wall, arms crossing over her chest as she took in the two men. Tyreese seemed lost in thought, his eyes scanning the darkness beyond the glass. He was troubled, that was obvious, and Carol knew why. He hated the violence that came with this world. He wasn't made for it but he tried. He tried hard to accept things for what they were. Merle said he was weak but Carol didn't look at it that way. He just didn't have the stomach for it.

She shared another look with Maddy as Allen looked up, regarding them coldly. She cleared her throat. "Maddy, wasn't Lori trying to find someone to help her get that box of canned fruit out of the pantry earlier?"

Maddy nodded. "I think so."

Carol smiled at Tyreese, who was staring at her. "Would you mind running in and helping her with that? We can stay out here with Allen until you get back. We're both going a little stir crazy anyway."

Tyreese swallowed the bite of food in his mouth and then shook his head. "No," he said, a little too quickly. "I mean, I can help her, sure, but I'll just go in when it's time to switch out."

Allen was watching him and Carol had to force herself not to glare at him outright when he met Tyreese's gaze. "It'll only take you a minute. I'm sure nothing is gonna happen while you're in there."

Carol almost smiled to herself. He wanted Tyreese to go inside because as far as he was concerned, there wasn't a threat out here. He figured he had found a way to take out two women quickly. But he was mistaken. Carol wasn't a cold blooded killer, but this man had no qualms about taking out her whole family. Her _daughter_ was in danger. And that was a game changer. In this man, she saw Ed. Maybe he hadn't been before all of this, but right now he wasn't a human to her. He wasn't a person. He was only a threat to everything she loved.

"Tyreese, you need to go help Lori," she said, unable to keep the anger from simmering in her low voice as her eyes lingered on Allen. When she looked up Tyreese was staring at her, then his gaze shifted to Maddy. He must have saw something there that gave him pause because she could see the realization in his eyes. With a wordless nod he left the tower.

Carol could tell by the tense way he carried himself that he knew that the man he had came here with was going to die tonight. Her heart was thundering so loud in her ears that she could barely hear anything else. Her hand was damp with sweat as she lifted the knife from her hip, holding it flush against her thigh.

Maddy was quick to act. Both women knew that if they didn't move soon then he was going to. Carol knew he meant every word he had said to Tyreese. Maddy raised the gun just as Allen sat his bowl down and moved for his own, trying to look as casual as he could but Carol could see the mean and determined glint in his eyes. He wasn't planning on waiting.

When he saw that Maddy had her rifle trained on him he looked stunned for a second and his hand stilled on his own. Carol could see the second he realized that the women had heard every word he had said. "What? You two going to just kill me up here?" From the sound of his voice he didn't believe for a second that the two of them were capable of harming him. "I have a son down there. What are you planning on telling him?"

Carol felt a twinge of guilt at that. He was good. He knew where to hit her, since she had a child of her own, but she swallowed down any doubts. "Your son will be a lot better off with us than he would with the likes of you," she said, her voice strangely calm.

Maddy kept the gun trained on him but hadn't been expecting to use it. The shot would bring the others out here and neither of them were ready for that. Not to mention it would bring more walkers to the gate.

She didn't have time to think about what was happening. Suddenly, he lunged at her and though her knife was in her hand, she didn't even have time to bring it up before he had a firm hold on her. He must have known Maddy wouldn't be quick to shoot him this close to the prison, but what he hadn't thought of was the fact that Maddy didn't need to shoot him.

Carol heard a sickening crack just as she was able to free the hand that held the knife and suddenly, Allen was falling. Maddy had gripped the rifle like a bat and had just hit a home run with the man's cranium. Before he could hit the floor Carol had the knife shoved up under his chin, through he roof of his mouth and into the soft tissue of his brain, making sure that he would stay dead.

When the body fell she stepped back, a wave of nausea swirling in her stomach. Just because she was capable of killing to keep her family safe, didn't mean that it was an easy thing. Maddy looked pale in the dim light.

"I think I might puke again," Maddy muttered, her eyes trained on the dead man.

Carol nodded. "Me too."

"We're total pussies," Maddy said, clearing her throat.

Carol nodded. "We are. What the hell are we suppose to do now?"

Maddy looked up suddenly as headlights flashed across the yard. "Now we go let them in and let them deal with it. We did the hard stuff."

Carol couldn't agree more. She followed the woman out, willing herself not to get sick.

~H~

Merle hopped out of the truck, stretching the kinks out and groaning when his back cracked audibly.

"Old ass," Daryl muttered as he stepped around him.

Merle stuck out his foot, Daryl caught it just like Merle knew he would, and then Daryl went sprawling in the grass. Merle couldn't dodge away fast enough and Daryl rolled quickly, kicking him in the shin.

"Cut that shit out, Merle," Daryl growled, pulling himself up off the ground.

Merle was about to kick him right in his ass when he looked up and realized that instead of going back to the tower, Maddy and Carol were now sprinting towards them. Instead of getting the equipment that they had strapped to the back of the truck, both men took off towards the women.

"What the hell happened?" Merle barked, his eyes raking over the women but lingering on Maddy. Even in the moonlight he could see that she was pale and her eyes were wide.

"We took dinner up to Tyreese and Allen up in the tower. We heard Allen talking about taking us all out before you all could get back," Maddy explained, trying to catch her breath.

Merle shared a look with Daryl and then they both looked up at the tower, he went to step around Maddy but she grabbed his arm. "I'm gonna stomp that mother fucker's-"

"We killed him," she said quickly, cutting him off.

Merle froze, looking down at her.

"You what?" Daryl asked, grabbing Carol by the arm and forcing her to move closer to him.

Carol nodded, her eyes moving from his brother back to Merle. "We didn't have a choice. He wasn't talking about leaving any of us alive. He'd have trie-"

"Did he touch either of you?" Daryl barked, his eyes harder than Merle had ever seen them.

Both women shook their heads. "The body is still up there. It just happened," Carol explained. "What are we suppose to tell his son?"

Merle rolled his eyes. "Tell him that his piece of shit daddy was plannin' on slaughtering everybody so his ass got handled," he growled.

"Merle," Maddy snapped, punching him in the arm. "He's just a boy and he isn't even over losing his mother."

Merle threw his hands up. "What the fuck is it with you people wantin' to coddle everybody. It's a hard goddamn world and them fuckin' kids need to learn how to deal with that. You got Carl walkin' around getting into everything, Hershel's kid turned into a retard that can't even feed herself and that-"

"Merle!" Carol and Maddy barked at the same time.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Tell the little mother fucker that his dad bailed. I don't care." He grabbed Daryl's arm and hauled him away from Carol. "Let's get rid of the goddamn body before the rest of them get back. Figured they already would. You two, go inside," he barked over his shoulder.

He was so damn sick of everyone on his case every goddamn time he decided to throw out a little bit of truth at them. He had enough to worry about without worrying about that damn boy. If Allen had been thinking about the kid at all then he wouldn't have put himself in a position to get taken out. It was that damn simple.

"I gotta say, I agree with them on this one Merle. That boy didn't have shit to do with this and it ain't right for him to suffer. He shouldn't have to go through life knowin' his dad was a would have been killer."

Merle clenched his jaw. "Goddamn it, I forgot to pick one up."

"What?" Daryl asked.

"That pretty little bra and panty set for you. What the fuck, little brother. You wanna make somethin' up then fine but if it was up to me that kid would know what kind of man his dad was. Who's to say he ain't just as bad? Huh? Could run in his blood."

Daryl gave him a disgusted look. "You ain't gotta be a piece of shit, Merle. Our own old man... Well, least one of us didn't turn out just fuckin' like him. Hopefully that kid turns out all right," he bit out, picking up speed so he wouldn't have to walk with Merle anymore.

Merle's steps faltered as he watched Daryl disappear into the tower. The words hit him with the force of a blow and he felt his pulse quicken with something almost akin to fear. His feet were rooted to the ground.

He knew he had faults. Fuck, everybody knew he had faults, but he wasn't his old man. He couldn't ever be that goddamn bad. Could he?

His hand involuntarily went to the inside pocket of his vest where he had hurriedly stashed one item that he hadn't wanted his damn brother to spot. He'd offhandedly suggested stopping at a drugstore that had clearly been ransacked, so he could snag what he needed. When his fingers brushed over the box it snapped him out of the haze that had overtaken him and he followed his brother into the tower.


	40. Chapter 40

**Couple more chapters and I think this one is basically finished. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Forty**

Merle and Daryl made quick silent work of the corpse. They didn't bury him because the one thing that they did agree on was that the man didn't deserve the damn energy they would spend on digging the hole. Knowing the son of a bitch had it in him to just go in there and take out women and kids pissed Merle off to no end.

And that was why he was secure in the fact that Daryl had it wrong. He wasn't like their old man, because that was something the old man could have done easily. Hell, it was just dumb luck that either of them had made it out of that house alive years ago.

Either way, however, he didn't have a damn thing to say to his brother at the moment. The two of them were known to throw some pretty nasty barbs at one another on occasion but that had been a below the belt hit and Daryl damn well knew it. So, for now, he needed to stay as far from Merle as he could get or he was going to be forced to gum his meals from now on.

Rick and the others hadn't made it back yet but he wasn't worried. For one, he didn't care if they made it back or not and for two, anything could be holding them up. Not only that but he didn't want to deal with anything Rick might have to say about what happened to Allen. It was done anyway and now all they had to do was go inside and tell the others that they were down a man.

Daryl didn't say a word as he walked past and Merle let him go in ahead. He wanted to take his time anyway. He had a strange feeling that his life was about to get turned right on its head and he wasn't ready just yet. He'd likely never be ready. So by the time he made it inside Allen's son was heading right towards Merle and he realized that everyone was staring at him.

The boy met his eyes and Merle could see the worry there. The worry turned to fear as Merle held his gaze but it wasn't Merle he was afraid of. He must have been able to see by the tension in Daryl and the women, that something had happened. "Where is he?" He asked, stopping a few feet away.

Maddy stood up, worry of her own creasing her brow.

Merle cleared his throat. "He went with us to check a spot in the fence I thought was breached. Turned out it was and some walkers were in the yard."

The boy shook his head, trying hard to hold back tears but failing.

"There was a group of'em headin' towards the women and he intercepted. I spose he couldn't stand the thought of watchin' another woman suffer so he took them out on his own. There was too many."

The boy's face crumpled and suddenly Maddy was there, pulling the boy against her. He hugged her back, apparently needing the comfort that she was offering. She met Merle's eyes from over the boy's shoulder. She looked grateful, and more than a little awed.

"My dad died I hero," the boy said, straightening up and swiping the tears from his face.

Merle gave him a stiff nod and stepped around them. He knew if he had to linger then he'd fuck up the charade. He wasn't good at this kind of shit and he couldn't stand the way that everyone was looking at him, because they knew. They knew what he'd done.

"Put your fuckin' eyeballs back in your faces. Go gawk at somebody else, you flock of goddamn vultures," he snapped, his voice like ice. He slammed the door so hard that the echo went on for a long time. He lit the lantern but nearly shattered the glass when he sat it down on the small table next to his makeshift bed.

He ran his hands over his face, trying to physically wipe away the anxiety that was starting to eat at him. It had been a long damn time since he'd really had a bad craving for a hit of something, but he was feeling it now. Feeling it now like he'd never felt it before. When the door opened he expected Maddy to step inside. He wanted it to be her so he'd know for sure if everything was going to change.

But it wasn't her. It was his brother. "What the hell do you want?" He snapped, as Daryl shut the door behind him.

"Why'd you lie like that?" Daryl asked, watching him closely.

Merle stood up, his fists clenching angrily and he didn't even know where the anger was really coming from. "Ain't that what all you mother fucker's wanted? You wanted me to spread some icin' on nice and thick so little orphan boy didn't have to know his daddy was a goddamn killer? What the fuck do you want from me?"

Daryl's brows pulled together in a frown. "I just came to tell you that what I said out there-"

"What you said out there was your opinion, little brother. And you're entitled to it."

"I didn't mean-"

"Get the fuck outta here, alright? I got too much goin' on to have to worry about you people."

A spark of anger lit up the blue of Daryl's eyes. "I ain't those people, goddamn it. I'm your brother! I shouldn't have said what I said. What you did back there-"

Merle's bitter laughter cut off the rest of what Daryl might have been about to say. "Like I said. I did what you people wanted me to do. Now all's right with the world so get the fuck out. I don't need no goddamn good guy speech."

Daryl looked mad enough to spit. "What you need is your stubborn ass kicked. What the fuck is your problem? I'm tellin' you that I was wrong. You're pretty damn bad but you ain't like he was."

Merle scoffed. "You think I need you to tell me that? I might not have been the best brother in the world but I kept your goddamn ass safe and other than a few fair fights, I never put hands on you like that son of a bitch did."

Daryl threw his hands in the air and paced back and forth in front of the door. "Did lyin' to that kid really bother you that much? Keepin' somebody from feelin' fucking awful about something ain't a bad thing, Merle!"

Before Merle could say a word Maddy finally stepped into the room, dark eyes troubled as they flicked from Daryl back to Merle. "Everything okay?"

Merle eyed her for a few long moments, reached into the inside pocket of his vest and pulled out the box he'd stashed there. He tossed it to her and she caught it in mid air, read the label and then her head snapped up, her eyes widening.

"I don't need this," she said in a strained voice.

Merle shook his head. "Humor me."

Daryl stared at the box and then at Maddy and then turned his eyes back to Merle. Merle saw it then. Now Daryl was really regretting what he'd said. "Look, Merle, I didn't know..."

Merle didn't really have anymore anger in him at the moment. He could have dragged that dog around for days but he wouldn't. The sad ass truth was, it hadn't felt half bad to lie to that kid. It hadn't been too damn awful to give the boy a good memory of his dad instead of blurting out that the man was rotten to the core. That was the real reason he was so pissed off. He simply didn't understand why any of it had felt good. Because he wasn't the good guy. He didn't want to be. There were plenty of them around already and one more was too many. These assholes needed someone as hard as he had always been to balance things out.

"Merle, I-"

"Maddy, you're sick every fuckin' day, you're hormonal all the goddamn time. When you ain't near tears about somethin' you're draggin' me in here three, four times a day to scratch an itch for you and you're wearing me the hell out. We both already know what the hell that test is gonna tell you. You really think I risked my neck for Shane Walsh's love child? I got the shit we needed because I ain't gonna watch you die, I sure as fuck ain't gonna watch my kid die. Go take the test and then go talk to Hershel or so help me God I'm throwin' your crazy ass over my shoulder, tyin' you to a bed and havin' the old bastard give you the most thorough exam you ever had in your life."

Maddy glared at him, gripping the box so hard he was worried she'd break the test inside. "Fine, and when it turns out that it's negative, I expect you to apologize for being a big asshole."

He nodded. "Done. Now go."

She shot Daryl a dirty look, even though he had nothing to do with it and then stormed out, slamming the door so hard that they both jerked at the sound.

Daryl looked up, eyes wide. "Why the fuck didn't you say anything?"

Merle sat down on the bed and swiped a hand over his face. These people were fucking exhausting. "Because it wasn't no concern of yours."

Daryl kept staring at him and Merle wanted to throw him out but he wasn't going to. "You chose one hell of a time to decide you wanna be a family man, Merle. You know as good as the next guy what causes that, right?" He said, eying Merle with a reproachful look.

"Shut up," he growled. When he looked up he was surprised at what he saw. "What the hell are you grinning about, dumbass?"

Daryl shrugged. "You." He shook his head and walked out, leaving Merle there to puzzle over that mischievous look on his brother's face.

"Dickhead," Merle muttered, leaning back on his elbows and watching the door. He had been suspecting this for weeks now so when Maddy came back into the room, her face pale and her eyes large, it was just confirmation. He was strangely calm, maybe because he knew she needed him to be. She sat down next to him and then ran a hand through her tousled hair.

He couldn't believe that she looked so surprised. Hell, he'd known and it wasn't even his body. She had to have suspected for a while.

"What the hell am I gonna do now?" She asked bleakly.

He frowned, staring off at the door. Did she think he was going to toss her to the side? Surely she knew better than that. Then he really thought about it and realized, why the hell would she? It wasn't like he made it a point to let her know that, for whatever God forsaken reason, she meant something to him. More than anyone else ever had. "I guess you just keep on takin' care of yourself."

She scoffed, shaking her head and looking almost angry. "You don't have to..." Her voice trailed off and she finally turned her face so she could meet his eyes. "You don't have to act like this don't bother you Merle. I know you."

He schooled his features. "Do you, now?" He asked.

She stared at him for a few long moments and then he saw something like hope brighten her eyes a little. "My ass is going to get huge," she deadpanned.

He shrugged. "You're ass is my business. Besides, it ain't exactly small now. I don't mind if it gets bigger."

She gaped at him. "Are you saying I have a fat ass?"

"Yes."

She rolled her eyes and glared at him. "That's a horrible thing to say to a woman and you know it!"

He sighed. "No, if I'd said, Goddamn, Maddy, you got a big fat ghetto ass and you should probably work out, that would be a horrible thing to say. But I didn't say that. If I didn't like your ass then I'd probably be able to keep my hands off of it. What, you think I'd rather you have a Lori ass? "

"Jesus, you're impossible. And you know, it isn't just my ass. I'm gonna be huge."

"Big girls need love too."

He grunted and caught himself right before she was able to shove him right off the bed. "What the hell was that for?"

She was standing up now, hands on her hips as she glared down at him. "Stop being so mean!"

He leaned back on his elbows again, his eyes narrowed. "I ain't! I'm tryin' to be nice."

"You aren't nice!"

"Look," he sat up, grabbing her hand and forcing her to stay put. "I don't like kids. Sophia's okay I guess, but I don't much care for many others, but that shit don't matter no more. I'm gonna do right by you. You know I will, so stop tryin' to bait me into bein' a dick."

"Like you need to be baited."

"Touche," he muttered, pulling her closer until she took the hint and straddled his hips.

"You seriously think this is all just going to work out? You and me?"

He hauled her closer and nodded. "Ain't like I have any other option. Can't skip town and bail on child support."

She tried to shove herself off of him, her face an angry mask but he held on tighter.

"I'm fuckin' with you, Maddy. Goddamn!"

She huffed out a breath and eyed him, like she was waiting for his next line. When he didn't say anything at all her expression cleared and she smiled a little. "You know, for all your faults, and Jesus there are more than I can keep track of, I think your a good man, Merle. You proved it out there when you talked to Ben tonight."

"Can we skip the flattery and go to fuckin' bed? I'm beat. All this tryin' to be nice bullshit is rough on a man."

She bit her lip. "You sure this is okay? You can do this without killing people or breaking things? You aren't the least bit upset?"

He shook his head. "Nope." And it was true. He'd never wanted kids but he'd never wanted to actually be with a woman either. Not the way he was with her, but he'd changed somehow and the prospect of having a little mean ass fucker running around giving the rest of these assholes more hell than they could handle was more appealing than he ever thought it would be. He was okay, as long as she was okay.


	41. Epilogue

**I'm sorry but I lied. I thought I had more chapters in me but I feel like this story has been finished for a while now and I was just trying to keep it afloat. When I sat down to start this chapter I actually closed the document and took a break. I'm talking, I didn't even get online at all for days. When I got back on and opened it again, my batteries felt recharged and my muse said it was time to finish it up. So this time, I actually listened.**

 **Much thanks to all of you that has stuck to it till the end. Stephanie, I hope you enjoy it once you get around to reading it since this was all yours. It was fun writing something based more on Merle, even though I caught myself slipping at times. Lol It's been fun folks. I really appreciate the love and the favorites and follows! You guys are awesome!**

 **Epilogue**

During that summer the prison seemed to be in a constant state of movement. There was always something that needed done and Maddy didn't really have the luxury to dwell on a whole lot because work was hard and seemed to never end. By the time fall set in, the place was like a fortress, Hershel and Rick and many others had taken over much of the yard, planting crops to store for the winter. Michonne, Andrea, Daryl and Carol took Sophia out often, armed to the teeth, and looked for people that needed shelter.

Merle didn't like it but Maddy knew there were a couple of people that he was actually glad they had recruited. There were strength in numbers and everyone knew that. In the back of her mind she had feared that they would stumble upon another Allen, or even someone like Philip Blake, but so far the newcomers were mostly grateful that they had walls around them and food in their stomachs. And there were simply too many good guys around for any bad guys to stand a chance.

But there were bad guys out there and all of them knew it. Even though the prison felt like a safe place, it wasn't. There was no place left that was safe. Not really. None of them let their guard down, even on those best days that had them feeling as though they were untouchable. None of them were, and some of them were at an even greater risk than others.

Lori had given birth to Judith right before fall and the arrival of the child did something to the group as a whole. They were more vigilant now and they were more aware. Aware of just how tenuous all of their lives were and aware that despite that, there was hope. There was hope for something good here, even at the tail end of the world. When Judith came, her very presence seemed to mend rifts that Maddy had assumed would simply always be there.

On a particularly mild night in the middle of December Maddy went into labor. Unlike the day that Judith was born, everything went smoothly. They were well prepared and well stocked on all of the medical supplies that they needed and right before dawn, Merle and Maddy became the unlikely parents to a healthy, and quite loud, baby boy.

Merle hadn't been the most doting man during the long months that Maddy was pregnant, but he did do the best he could and she appreciated him for it. He didn't dote on her and he didn't go out of his way to reassure her that everything would be okay. That just wasn't his way. He wasn't the type of man that would ever be overly affectionate. He'd never call her by any endearing pet names and he never really talked about how he was feeling about becoming a father. But she knew, without a doubt in her mind, that he loved her, even if he didn't say it. And she knew that, even though he was scared to death of being a father, he was looking forward to it in a way.

Sometimes, when the rest of the prison was quiet and sleeping, she would feel his large hand move over her stomach, waiting patiently for the telltale flutter under his palm, and then he would chuckle quietly at the strange feel of it. She never let him know that she was awake when he did this. He didn't bother doing it any other time but really, she wasn't fond of being smothered and coddled anyway. It was one of the reasons that her and Merle worked as a couple. She was secure enough with herself and their relationship that she didn't need him to constantly remind her that he cared.

Maddy had been riding an incredible high that December night. She was in such a pill induced euphoria, relieved that she and the baby had survived, that she had actually dozed off after getting her first glimpse of him. She had actually passed out but would never admit that to anyone else. And while she slept, Merle named their son John Wayne Dixon, because he was one of those fans of gunslingers and it didn't make any sense to name the child anything else. Never mind that there was a serial killer with the same name. When she told him that he'd simply shrugged and grinned and the smile was so genuine that she didn't argue anymore.

Besides, Daryl was already trying to convince the man that Clint Eastwood Dixon had a better ring to it, much to Carol and Maddy's horror. So John it was. And with that, the mending that had began with the birth of Judith, only intensified. Rick and Merle were not close. They were not friends and they didn't go out of their way to chum around the prison together, but they worked well together and they got along. Merle bit his tongue when before, he would have lashed out and Rick let go of the need to rule them all. There was a harmony now, that hadn't been there in the beginning. Both men shared a common goal, and that was to keep their family safe.

~H~

"You sure you don't want me to do that?" Daryl asked for the tenth time.

Merle looked up and shook his head. "I can do this."

Daryl made a face. "Good. I didn't wanna help but I felt bad for not askin'."

Merle's brows pulled together in a frown. "I don't get it. Shove a knife into the rotten putrid skull of a stinkin' ass walker, no goddamn problem. A dirty baby ass on the other hand, sends us both backin' away." He looked up in time to see Daryl doing just that, backing towards the open door. "Get back over here and give me a damn hand. I can do it but you gotta hand me the stuff I need."

Daryl reluctantly walked back up to the table that his nephew was lying on. The kid stared between the two of them with wise blue eyes and a smirk on his lips that let both men know that he could sense their mood. Merle didn't trust that look. It looked just like his own look when he was about to get into something he wasn't suppose to.

He took a deep breath and held it, cleaning up the mess as fast as he could while Daryl bagged it. He let the breath out in a rush. "There we go. That wasn't so-" Merle closed his mouth but not fast enough. He backed away, gagging and spitting onto the floor while his son of a bitch of a brother covered up the stream of baby urine.

"He pissed right in your face!" Daryl crowed, finishing up the task at hand and then lifting the little pisser off the table. The boy turned in Daryl's arms and then grinned, his first two teeth gleaming as Merle grabbed a water bottle and started rinsing his mouth.

"He did that shit on purpose. I could tell by the look in his eye he was up to somethin'," Merle growled.

Daryl scoffed, bouncing on the balls of his feet, having himself a grand old time since he wasn't the one with piss on his face. "He's six months old, Merle. He couldn't have planned it."

"Oh yeah, well next time, you change him and you see if he don't hold it till just the right time," he grumbled.

Daryl stepped past him, still laughing quietly to himself.

Merle watched him go, shaking his head and trying to repress a smile of his own. He was about to head to his own room so he could change his shirt but nearly ran over Maddy in the process. He steadied her with his hands on her shoulders. "Goddamn, woman. Watch your ass," he said, taking her in with one long sweep of his eyes.

She had been on a run with some of the others and it was the first time she'd left the prison since they had arrived well over a year ago. He hadn't wanted her to go but he wasn't her keeper and he'd kept his mouth shut. Especially since he trusted the group she had gone out with. Regardless of that fact, he was stunned at the relief he felt at seeing her back. His hands slid from her shoulders to her waist and a knowing smile graced her lips. He had gotten over hating how much he loved her but he'd never get over the fact that she seemed to know it. Without a word she pulled his face down to hers.

He pulled her closer until her body was pressed against the length of his. A body that was warm and familiar and had bounced back with a vengeance after the baby was born. A body that somehow kept his attention for all this time. He didn't look at the other women that called the prison home now, and there were plenty. He didn't pay them any mind because he simply didn't want them.

"Where's John?" She asked when she finally pulled away.

Merle shrugged. "Last I seen him he was crawlin' around on the perch."

She gave him a dry look, knowing that the boy hadn't been out of Merle's sights for long. "Daryl?"

Merle nodded. "You know it. He'll have him till he cries about somethin' and then he'll pass him off like a hot potato."

She nodded, laughing softly. "That's the beauty of being an uncle." She looked up, making a face. "Maybe you should hit the showers, Merle. You kind of smell like urine."

He grimaced. "He pissed right in my face."

Just like Daryl, she barked out a delighted laugh. "Welcome to my world. It's easy to tell when he's planning on doing it. He gets this look in his eye that makes him look exactly like you. I've already been there."

Merle shook his head and followed her to their room. "I knew it."

~H~

Carol wasn't surprised when she found Daryl out in the prison yard. He was lying in the grass on his back with his knees pulled up and a baby bouncing happily on his stomach. She smiled and plopped down next to him. Instantly John reached for her and she took him with a grin. Daryl sat up.

"I didn't expect you all back for another few hours," he said, draping his arms over his knees and giving her a once over.

"We didn't either but everything went pretty smooth. We found more signs of that rogue group but didn't see them. They're elusive," she said with a nonchalant air, even though the thought of a group as dangerous as these strangers seemed to be had her stomach twisting in knots.

He cursed under his breath. "I don't want you back out there. Not till we hunt them down and get rid of them," he growled.

Carol nodded, knowing he wasn't trying to dictate what she did. He was scared of something happening and if staying behind the walls relieved some of the stress he was under then she wouldn't fight him about it. She picked her battles when it came to him. "It looks like they're circling. They know we're here and they're just biding their time."

He nodded, his eyes going to the fence. "We'll need to have a meeting and talk about the best way to handle it. They're a bunch of slimy bastards out there. I think we should lay low. We need to put extra eyes on all sides of the prison, keep everybody armed. There's enough of us that if somethin' does happen, it'll end quick."

She nodded in agreement.

"Till then you keep Sophia close and don't go anywhere alone, even if it is inside. You never know," he added darkly.

She raised her brows when he finally looked at her. "I'm so glad you're here to remind me of all of this, Daryl. I mean, really, if it wasn't for you I'd likely wonder outside the fences while picking wildflowers and get myself either kidnapped or eaten," she said dryly.

He narrowed his eyes on her but she saw his lips twitch. "Smart ass."

She shrugged. "If I was anything else you'd wonder what was wrong with me."

"True." He stood up quickly and reached for her hand.

Once he pulled her up she adjusted the baby on her hip but wasn't able to take a half step before Maddy showed up and stole him away with a grin and a wink. Carol sighed and watched her walk away. She was hoping to steal a few hours with the boy before someone took him.

"Give it up," Daryl said with a small smile, nudging her.

She frowned and followed him inside. "Do you regret being with someone that can't give you that?" She asked without really thinking about the question. She watched him with his nephew often and sometimes it made her feel bad that, as long as the two of them were a unit, he wouldn't have any children of his own.

"What the hell kinda stupid ass question is that?" He barked, almost angrily.

She shrugged, her brows going up in surprise. "I just thought-"

"Well cut that dumb shit out," he grumbled, yanking her hand and then roughly pushing her into the room they shared.

She laughed. "Cut what out? Thinking?"

He kicked the door shut and then nodded. "Yeah."

"It was just something that occurred to me. My apologies," she said sarcastically.

He kissed her then, still looking slightly offended that she had asked him such a question. She would be a liar of she said that his reaction didn't made her feel better. She knew he loved her. He'd admitted it out loud even, but he could love her and still wish for more. He seemed more than willing to show her that she worried for nothing. Most of the time his actions spoke much louder than his words ever could.

~H~

As the moon rose over the prison that night half of them rested easy in their cells and designated rooms while the other half prowled the grounds, stood sentinel in the towers and hunkered down in the area surrounding the fence, waiting patiently for danger to step out from the darkness. They would not be caught unprepared and they would not lose the life they had all worked so hard to build.

Merle was one of them that was lurking in the yard under the cover of a pile of blocks that they hadn't needed back when they had worked on reinforcing the fence surrounding the prison. Every few minutes he scanned the tree line, patiently waiting for someone stupid enough to step out and move close.

Like he often did he found himself reflecting on the man he was now compared to the man that had gotten so out of his head that he'd been cuffed and left for dead on a rooftop. Back then he had never bothered thinking about the future because he never really believed that any of them had much of one.

How wrong he had been? He smiled slightly, remembering the night he'd met Maddy. The very moment that everything changed. Circumstances had changed. Priorities had changed. Hell, life itself had taken on a strange new meaning. But he was the same man. She hadn't needed him to become someone different, even though some would say that he was. Back then, he knew that he had the potential to be a good man. He had just never had the urge to act on it. Now things were different. Back then he had been weighed down by the chains of his past and the heavy weight of his own anger. Those chains were gone because the past didn't matter and that anger... well, it had simply moved on. There wasn't enough room inside of him for it anymore.

His actions had always had a ripple effect. Everyone's did. But now he was someones dad and that made him think a little harder and it made him fight his demons a little harder. At first it had been hard but now, he learned that he laughed a little harder too. And God knew that he was able to love a little harder.

He was thankful now, when before he had always felt like someone, hell everyone, owed him something. He had accepted the fact that he was just a small fucking thread in a huge tapestry. He had to watch himself. He had to keep his temper in check and he had to strive to be a better man for his boy and that fucking infuriating woman that held him in the palm of her hand without even knowing it.

Movement had him tensing and he watched the shadow move away from the trees, stumble, right itself and then shamble along towards the side, out of site. It was only a walker, which was something they could all spot from a mile away. There would be someone else watching the thing making it's way around the property because there were twenty people out here making sure the ones inside were sound.

He relaxed, cracking his neck. Yeah, this time it was just a walker but soon, he had a feeling, he'd be able to finally lay into something worse than the dead. Some piece of shit hell bent on taking everything. It'd been a long damn time since he'd gotten to watch that. That light go out in the eyes of someone who would wrong the people he loved.

He chuckled at the thought. Yeah, maybe he had undergone some sort of transformation over the last year or so, but damn if he wasn't still Merle Goddamn Dixon at heart. At the end of the day, he could spill another mans blood without a seconds thought. It just took a little more for him to get there now. It took a threat to his family, and that was okay too.

"Compromise," he muttered to himself, narrowed eyes scanning almost longingly over the tree line. His trigger finger itched something fierce.


End file.
